


Survivors

by leoxxii



Series: Subnautica: Survivors [1]
Category: Subnautica (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Graphic Description, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kinda?, M/M, Major Character Injury, Multi, Near Death Experiences, Not Canon Compliant, Original Character(s), really i just gave names to some unnamed ppl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2020-01-13 00:55:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 30
Words: 66,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18458162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leoxxii/pseuds/leoxxii
Summary: “You have suffered minor head trauma. This is considered an optimal outcome.This PDA has now rebooted in emergency mode with one directive: to keep you alive on an alien world. Please refer to the databank for detailed survival advice.Good luck."





	1. Day 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *throwing random ideas and headcanons from dreams i had together* TAKE IT PLEASE JUST TAKE ALL OF IT *pushing random characters together* HURT/COMFORT SHIPPING AW HELL YEAH TAKE MY BULLSHIT

At first, there was silence. An eerie quiet that shouldn't have followed him here. He can't hear, and the realization doesn't fully dawn on him for those few seconds.

Then, he slowly opens his eyes.

His headache is his biggest concern for a moment, and he almost wants to will himself back into unconsciousness, to sleep it off.

His eyes drift up, towards a flickering light. He thinks it's a faulty light bulb at first, because god knows how much more Alterra prioritized money to working products. A faulty light bulb could be fixed easily enough though, he supposes.

His eyes refocus.

He's not in a room on the Aurora. He's not lying hungover in a bed. It's not bad wiring.

He's in a lifepod. He's stuck in one of the seats on a lifepod. The light is a fire.

His breath hitches, and his heart skips a beat.

His hand jumps to the touch-screen, taps the 'release’ button once, twice, way too many times, slams his fist on it before it finally lifts up. He stumbles up, trips over his feet, balances himself by placing a hand on one of the walls of the lifepod.

He scans the small pod, and thanks whatever the hell is keeping him alive through this as he spots the fire extinguisher lying in front of him. He grabs it, his heart still fluttering, his head aching, his lungs feeling as if they were being stabbed a thousand times with each breath.

The fire is out, and he carefully limps over to the storage container and sits down on top of it.

He tries to remember what's happening. He's on a lifepod -- it's state of disarray confuses him, the lifepods should have been the safest thing on the Aurora, how hard of a crash landing could have caused this? Were the other lifepods like this? Did everyone even reach the pods?

He sees the second seat. Thinks about it. Tries to remember how many pods there were -- 50 -- tries to remember many crewmembers were on the ship -- 157 -- god, 2 seats, 50 pods, _157_ _people-_

He feels sick.

His pod is too destroyed to send a distress signal.

He's swaying from where he sits- he landed in water?

He reaches for the PDA sitting on the floor, and taps to boot it up. It takes longer than the few seconds he was hoping for.

He moves to the floor, and opens the storage container while he waits. There's two flares, two water bottles, two nutrient bars. Nothing else. One bottle of water and one nutrient bar for the two people this pod was supposed to fit.

"What the _fuck_." He murmurs, his voice hoarse.

His PDA sings a short tune, and he turns away from the container, slams the lid shut a little harder than necessary. He picks up the device, and it finally speaks.

_“You have suffered minor head trauma. This is considered an optimal outcome. This PDA has now rebooted in emergency mode with one directive: to keep you alive on an alien world. Please refer to the databank for detailed survival advice. Good luck_."

Frustration gnaws at his stomach. He flips through the various menu screens for a few moments, his mind wandering rather than actually taking in anything he skimmed over.

He can feel the pod swaying, keenly aware of it now. He looks up, stares out the glass hatch, sees nothing but blue sky. He stands on shaky legs, and reaches to climb up the ladder.

A strange bird is the first thing he sees. It hovers near the hatch, staring at him. He hesitates for a second, before deciding _'it's just a weird bird’_ , and throws open the hatch. The creature startles, and flies off with a cry.

The second thing he sees, as he closes the hatch behind him, is the remainder of the Aurora.

Even from the distance he's at, he can see holes in it. Can see the smoke and flames, the engine burning up and the front half nearly gone completely. Most of it's underwater.

It's _destroyed_.

There's bodies on the ship, he knows. There could be survivors still on it. He doesn't know the chances of survivors, he doesn't want to think about it. He chooses to believe someone else is in a pod or a sealed room that survived the fall somewhere.

There's also a _lot_ of water.

He thought he must've just landed in a lake. Water stretched out farther than he could see in all directions, the Aurora sat submerged in front of him. It was all just ocean, _everywhere_.

Then he notices the two mountains of land on either side of him, both far in the distance, too far for him to swim. He's too tired to consider going for land. He doesn't know what's in the water, either. He's never liked the oceans on Earth much to begin with, a god forsaken completely unexplored _alien_ one?

He doesn't _want_ to leave the lifepod. He knows he'll probably have to, eventually, but he could not want to do something _less_.

His PDA piped up again from in his hand.

_“The Aurora suffered orbital hull failure. Cause: unknown. Ten human life signs detected within a five mile radius_.”

Only ten others in a ship full of 157 people? _Eleven_ survivors?

The sun's high in the sky.

He doesn't see anything but the mountains, the Aurora, and water.

Where the hell could anyone else even be? How much of the planet was ocean? How far could they all have landed from each other? How many people even made it to a lifepod if only _ten_ others are alive?

He checks the device in hopes of a repair tool blueprint. He needs to fix his lifepod, get the radio working again. At least _one_ good thing has to happen to him today.

Thank god, the PDA retained that. Silicone rubber, sulfur, and titanium. Those shouldn't be too difficult to find, maybe.

Maybe someone else is nearby. Maybe.

He sighs, tries to ignore his panicked gut feeling and the dull pain in his skull, stands again, and takes a deep breathe.

And dives in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh ill almost definitely mention it later but just for ur info, like none of the characters actually have first names?? so i gave them first names!!
> 
> yu - emily yu  
> berkeley - milo berkeley  
> keen - roman keen  
> ozzy - oswald "ozzy" garrison  
> danby - danby miles
> 
> none of them are canon and im pretty sure danby is meant to be a last name and not a first name but!! what do u want from me i slapped this thing together in less than a week and i used a baby name site
> 
> the other characters are completely unnamed and they are:
> 
> pod 04 survivor - micah jordan  
> pod 17 survivor - beatrix quill
> 
> i gave names to other characters u can find pdas from in the aurora as well as all known lifepod survivors. but they don't appear so im not gonna bother giving u their names. might link up my google docs files abt this au later on but its FULL of spoilers obviously so u will have to wait a lil while if ur determined to learn the names i gave
> 
> ANYWAY new chapters should be up every saturday at least, might update more than once a week! depends on my writing mood tbh


	2. Day 9

Days passed.

He built himself a repair tool fairly quickly. Fixed his lifepod up. Fixed the radio.

He couldn't send a signal. The communication relay was busted. He wasn't even sure if it would be possible to receive messages at first.

A couple minutes went by, and the radio starting beeping. He walked up to it.

“ _This is Aurora. Distress signal received. Rescue operation will be dispatched go your location in 9...9...9...9...9… hours. Continue to monitor for emergency transmissions from other lifepods.”_

He sighed, and left through the bottom hatch again.

* * *

The Aurora's drive core blew up a day after he got that message.

He hoped nobody was near it when it happened.

He didn't dare ask the PDA to scan again for human life. He wanted to believe there were still ten others somewhere.

Another day passes, and his radio is beeping again.

“ _This is Avery Quinn, of trading ship Sunbeam. Aurora, do you read? Over_.”

His breathe hitches.

“ _Nothing but vacuum. These Alterra ships, they run low on engine grease, they send an SOS; you offer to help, they don't pick up.”_

“I’m _trying!_ Nothing _works!”_ He yells, knowing nobody could hear him. He _wants_ to be able to talk to them, wants to tell what happened, wants them to _help_ . And he _can’t_.

_“Aurora, I’m out on the far side of the system, it’s going to take- more than a week to reach your position. Do you still need our assistance? Over.”_

_“Yes!”_ He says, one hand touching the radio, desperate to find a way to respond. Scared that they won’t come without a response. _“We’re still here!”_

“ _I’ll try them again tomorrow. See what the long-range scans pick up in the meantime. Damn charter’s going to have us wasting our profit margin running errands for Alterra.”_

Then the message ends, and he’s left alone again.

He doesn't sleep that night. Not that he’s really been able to the past few days anyway.

* * *

He receives a distress signal from another lifepod that morning. Lifepod 3. His PDA gives him coordinates to its location.

When he gets there sometime later, the pod’s lying on the seabed. Nobody’s nearby. Nobody's inside. He finds a PDA with an entry recorded on it. He finds a destroyed seaglide right next to the pod. He scans it, and tries to ignore the restless dread in his stomach.

He listens to the PDA entry when he returns to his lifepod.

He wishes he could remember their names. He wishes he had even a slight idea who they were.

He wonders if they were two of the ten. He almost wants to check.

He doesn’t. He’s terrified of what answer he might get.

He mourns.

* * *

Another day passes. Another day of chasing after fish to keep himself alive. Another day of hearing something roar, far away from where he was, and being unable to see it anywhere. Another day of pushing his oxygen, and swimming up as fast as possible, his vision starting to black out and pure panic pushing him onword.

Another day passes, and he’s more scared, more tired, more lonely.

Another day passes, and his radio starts beeping again.

He stumbles up to it, hoping for something, anything to tell him someone else is alive.

“ _Aurora, this is Sunbeam again.”_

The voice is tight, slightly anxious. He’s terrified of what they’re about to tell him. Tell anyone else who might be picking up their message.

_“We just picked up… a massive debris field at your location. I didn’t know how bad… how many of you… I- I didn't know.”_

He remains silent. He hopes.

_“We are now en route to your location. We’re going to bring you home. Sunbeam out.”_

He lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, he’s sure tears are flowing down his cheek, he can hear himself laughing hysterically. He doesn’t hear the rest of the message. He doesn’t particularly care. He’d be seeing them face to face in a couple days.

And so he collapses in his pod, laughing and crying and feverishly waiting.

* * *

He falls asleep on the ground like that. He wakes up an hour later, and there’s a new message, another distress signal from a lifepod. Number 17.

He recognizes the voice. They introduced themselves in the message, but he knew that voice. He _knew_ them.

He knew Ozzy. _God_ , he remembered Ozzy. He grabs his seaglide, and follows the coordinates. He doesn’t care that it’s pitch black, doesn’t care that he can barely see where he was going even with the attached flashlight on.. He follows the coordinates without a single pause.

He finds new creatures. Leviathan sized. They were slow, and remained near the surface, making loud roars that echoed through the water. He decided he would scan them later, they didn't appear aggressive. They didn't appear to even have a mouth, or claws, or anything. He can check whatever the hell they are later.

He needs to save Ozzy.

He _needs_ to.

Finally, he reaches the coordinates. Finally, he sees the pod.

And the hull's torn through.

And there's nothing but a PDA.

And his stomach twists.

And he turns to go back to his lifepod, despite the voice in his head telling him to _stay longer, look around, find them._

His chest aches a little bit, and his PDA tells him to return to the surface.

Once again, he makes it with blurry vision, choking and coughing out salty water.

He really wants to grab some fish, and hide inside his lifepod until the Sunbeam arrives.

Instead, he dives back down, and looks around for scannable pieces of various Seamoths. A large shattered piece rest just next to the destroyed lifepod.

He ignores it, gets the blueprint, and swims back to his own pod.

* * *

Days passed.

The Sunbeam sent him their landing site coordinates.

He left his lifepod behind, and started building a habitat at a border between a Kelp Forest and the plateaus where Ozzy's pod is. It was closer to the Sunbeam's coordinates anyhow.

And he needed to see if Ozzy was okay, and had just abandoned the pod. He needed to see if they would return.

He only slept when he couldn't force himself awake any longer. Only ate when his PDA reminded him. Only went up for more air when his lungs burned and his heart was beating a thousand miles a second.

He spent most of his time waiting for a new radio message. Waiting for the days to pass. Waiting for someone to find him.

* * *

One morning, he gets in his Seamoth, and sets for the landing site.

It's more than 800 meters farther out than he's ever been. The water is darker. The water is _deeper_.

The creatures are bigger. The roaring he hears is different now. It's _louder_. It sounds far off and close at the same time, it's _so much_ louder and angrier.

He finds an island.

He finds a building. His PDA tells him the Sunbeam shouldn't arrive for another 30 minutes. So he uses his time to explore.

There's nobody else there on the island.

Did any of them even have working radios?

Maybe they were just farther away. Maybe they didn't have any Seamoths. Maybe he was just early. There had to be a reason why, there had to be something. Others would come. They had to.

Be finds a shattered purple object, shaped like a tablet. In front of it lay an open doorway.

He walks inside.

The building is mostly shades of gray and black. There's various carvings of lines and shapes on the walls, glowing slightly. There's various turns in the path, and lots of what he assumes to be railing. He continues through the rooms and corridors.

_“Scans indicate this structure is composed of a metal alloy with unprecedented integrity. No matches found in database. Performing structural analysis.”_

He hums, staring at the walls as his PDA spoke, before turning his attention to the floor. There's several bumps in corners and sides, almost as if something was supposed to sit there, but he never found anything on them.

There were a few downloadable bits of message left by whoever built the building. His PDA couldn't translate any of it. It could make theories and observations better than him, though, so he let it talk and download the messages.

_"Your best probability of interfacing with this facility is achieved by accessing the control room in the lower section."_

He reaches a small square room that went straight down. There's no other route, the room being a complete dead end.

He walks towards it, surprised to find the room pulling him forward. Fear surged through him as he tried backing away, only to stumble forward.

He fell down, limbs flailing, only screaming a little bit for a second, he swears. The room slows him down as he reaches the bottom, and steps out with his heart still beating.

He blinks at the green glowing room. Some sort of anti-gravity elevator?

“Fun.” He says, turning away and continuing through the lower floor of the building, anxiety slowly leaving him.

He finds a room bigger than the others, with a hole in the middle filled with water, leading outside.

He could the roaring from here, so he didn't dare get in and look around. He continued through the doorway leading even further inside.

There was a giant room, with slopes leading farther up.

He checked his PDA again. Sunbeam still wouldn't be there for 20 minutes.

He climbs the slopes, his legs aching by the time he reached the top. He sees a container holding a ball looking object. He approaches it, taking a step back when it jumps to life and starts wildly making noises.

He scans it from what he determines to be as safe as a distance as he can get.

His PDA informs him it's a malfunctioned device that would have been capable of destroying the galaxy. Fantastic. Luckily it didn't work anymore.

He eyes it for a few more moments, before stepping away and continuing up the last slope to the top floor. Another doorway lay ahead, and as he enters the room, he thinks about just how _weird_ the entire building was.

_"Scans indicate the facility's control room lies beyond this doorway."_

At the end of the room was a glowing pillar, with a large button on the front. He frowned as he stared at it.

Hesitantly, he reaches out his hand, and before he can make a better judgement, leans his hand against it.

Immediately, a field jumps up around his wrist, holding his arm in place. He tries pulling away, panic rising when he finds himself stuck.

A metallic arm ending on a circle reaches out from the pillar, and moves around while staring at him for a few moment. He watched it with careful eyes.

It makes a noise, and suddenly a giant needle is stabbed into his arm. He inhales a bit too quick, and nearly chokes on his own breath for a second. The machine lifts away a moment later, and everything in the pillar pulls away and shuts down. The glowing becomes brighter, and a loud noise erupts from the light.

He shields his eyes, until the noise quiets down, and then stares at the pillar for a few more moments, before his PDA speaks again.

 _"The control panel is broadcasting a message. Translation reads..._ _  
_ _WARNING: Infected individuals may not disable the enforcement system. This planet is under quarantine."_

“Under quarantine?” He repeats, staring at the subtitled message. He reads it over and over again.

He looks back up at the softly glowing pillar.

He looks down at his PDA again.

The planet was under quarantine.

He thinks about for a few moments.

The planet was _under quarantine_.

It clicks, all at once, and he scrambles to check the Sunbeam's countdown.

10 minutes.

“Oh, _shit_.”

He turns, and promptly begins running back through the facility.

He's back on the beach, and the Sunbeam would be there in 5 minutes.

There wasn't time to go back to his lifepod, and even then, his pod can't send messages. He can't warn them.

He paces through the sand, panic coursing through his veins. It would shoot them down. How could he stand by and watch as more people die? How could he let their only shot at rescue be destroyed?

What can he even do to stop it?

He walks back and forth, back and forth, runs his hands through his hair, feels ever so slightly upset it's not sticking up with the use of hair gel, feels worst about even thinking about himself and his hair when there's so many other things to think about. So many people at risk. So much to do, everywhere to go, everyone to find-

3 minutes.

He paces and paces and paces.

2 minutes.

Breathing is becoming more difficult, his legs ache, his _lungs_ ache, whatever is roaring is so _loud_ and he wants to run away to his lifepod and sleep and never wake _up_ -

1 minute.

He thinks he might just start crying.

30 seconds, his PDA tells him, and a siren is coming from the building, and it's moving, moving to point at the sky. And he knows what's coming next. He _knows_.

And he can do _nothing_ to stop it.

“ _Survivor, we see you_!” Comes a voice from his PDA, a signature connecting the radio devices, he's sure.

“Turn around, it's not safe.” He tries saying, his throat burning and his voice harsh, desperate to do something. Anything. Anything that might help.

His radio doesn't work.

They can't hear him.

_“Man, I don't know how you held out down there.”_

He doesn't really know, either. He knows he didn't hold out very _well_.

_“We've broken atmosphere and we're descending towards the landing site-”_

“No.”

_“Is that a building down there?! What do you mean you can't identify it?”_

“Come _on_ , why can't you hear me, _turn around!”_

_“Hold on, no turning back now. Positions everyone, touching down in 10, 9, 8-, it's coming from the building?!”_

“ _Turn around!”_ He screams, but to no avail. The building is making more noises. He doesn't know whether the yelling or his own heartbeat is louder. Why's everything so _loud_?

_“No, there's no time to turn around, lifepods, now! Go!”_

The radio ends in static, and barely a second later a beam of light shoots from the building, striking the center of the landing ship. He watches with wide panicked eyes.

Pieces of the Sunbeam fall, almost slowly, down to the ocean. He tries to find any signs of lifepods, squints his eyes as they flash around the scene of the wreck, looks for anything at all. It's become almost deadly silent, his ears ringing with the change in volume.

He can't tell. Everything looks like it's on fire, everything looks destroyed, and he can't discern any piece from each other. The _Aurora_ barely came out okay, and if that thing really shot the Aurora down too, then how could any members of the Sunbeam even survive the fall? Only _10_ of the 157 survived, the Sunbeam had to have been significantly smaller, a lot closer, and trying to land on the planet.

They _couldn't_ have survived, however much he hopes, there's just no chance.

But the tug of loneliness and desperation in his heart convinces him to jump in his Seamoth, and drive it towards the falling pieces of wreck.

He tries his hardest to ignore the quickly darkening water as night fell, ignore the roaring getting louder and _louder_ to the point it was almost deafening, ignore the much louder part of his brain telling him he'll kill himself looking, telling him there's _no_ _chance_ of survivors and he's getting closer to _something_ and he's going to _die_ looking for something that _doesn't exist_.

He ignores everything, continues going forward, and tries his best to see through the darkness and find anyone at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slamming a keyboard* EVERYBODY KNOWS SHITS FUCKED


	3. Day 25

He tries staying at the sea floor, hoping and hoping and _hoping._  He had already spent a few minutes swimming around the surface; if any lifepod’s had launched successfully, they floated just as well as the Aurora’s.

He found various small pieces of wreck. None of it seemed to lead anywhere.

The roars were getting louder every second he spent swimming forward. Some of them are the same deafening drawn-out demon sounding ones. Some of them he hadn’t heard before, getting louder and louder, and whatever it is, there’s clearly more than one near each other. He isn’t quite sure how to describe the sound, other than ‘high-pitched creepy screeching’.

His Seamoth has been making noises it probably shouldn’t. It’s approaching it’s crush depth, he knows, but he doesn’t care, the water isn’t getting much deeper anymore.

He sees a larger piece of wreck ahead, and drives his Seamoth towards it, and he hopes and he hopes and he _hopes._

It’s still small, compared to some of the snapped off pieces he’s seen from the Aurora, but that wasn’t exactly a fair comparison either. It’s larger pieces of Sunbeam he’s found. He hopes he’s about to finally get lucky, for the first time on his entire time on this planet.

He goes above the wreck, and there’s a sudden drop-off in all directions. It’s just a cliff edge, as far as he can see. He’s about to give up, about to accept that if there was any lifepods, they fell down that hell-hole and he’s _not_ going down there, he won’t, he _can’t._

Then he sees it.

Sees one.

A lifepod, just slightly different from the Aurora’s. Thinner and longer; more storage on the walls, he thinks. It has Alterra written on the side. The Sunbeam didn’t sound happy in their first message, they _couldn’t_ have been Alterra, why was the lifepod Alterra issued?

It looks mostly intact, at the very least. Just not floating. But he’s starting to think his was the only one that _did_ float.

He takes a deep breath, and gets out of his Seamoth. He swims over to the hatch, and tries peering inside. He sees two people, and thank god, both are conscious. One's already out of their seat, looking over the second one, and he notices the blood dripping down the seat, onto the floor.

He taps on the glass, and the uninjured one looks up, fear on his face for a moment, but it quickly changes to a look of hope.

"Hey! You're that guy from the island, aren't you? Can you get us out? My friend's hurt, we need to get to land," He says, the voice muffled through the hatch. He can't reply, unable to make any sort of helmet yet, simply holding his breath. He nods, and gets ready to open the hatch.

He waits until they're both out of the seats, and the uninjured one -- he thinks it sounded like the captain, but the voice was too muffled by water and glass for him to be able to tell -- looks up with a nod.

The sudden rush of water nearly knocked him aside, while he wasn't even inside the pod. He doesn't know how they managed to stay on their feet. He reaches a hand down, to pull them up, and tries to help with carrying the injured Sunbeam member.

They're probably 400 meters down, it's still pitch black with no sunlight to be found, and one of them is still profusely bleeding from his side, barely conscious.

His lungs ache a bit, a reminder of their ticking time. Now that he thought about it, how would they make it to the surface? They couldn't all fit in the Seamoth, and it would attract predators if mixed with the scent of blood. They'd have to swim up.

And they did.

He doesn't look at the others, but he can feel the person beside him start kicking his feet with less energy, and he doesn't even know if it's the blood or oxygen loss. His own lungs are starting to scream for air.

They're still 200 meters down.

His brain is yelling _'you can't make it',_ his legs are tired, his eyes burn, his vision is way blurrier than it should be, they can't make it, they can't make it they're going to drown-

He tries to kick faster, hopes for a last burst of energy, he didn't survive this long just to drown _now._

He feels himself blacking out. His stomach is filled with dread.

He doesn't think the realization that he was drowning was any less scary than it was every other time.

He thinks they might just die down here.

And in one last ditch effort, he waits for unconsciousness to take its hold on him forever.

But it doesn't.

And before he can even think much on it, his head is above water, and there's still two people next to him, and they're both coughing and breathing and they're all still alive.

The sun is rising.

"That was.. too close." The uninjured Sunbeam member says, his voice quiet and weaker than it was before. He can definitely recognize the voice now -- it had to be Quinn.

"It'll probably happen again," He breathes out, his throat aching from not saying anything mixed with screaming over the past two weeks. Three weeks? _Four?_ He's losing track of time at this point, but it's not like he was trying to keep track after the first two days.

"How far away is that island? We need to get out of the water." Quinn asks, staring expectantly at him.

He realizes he hadn't been keeping track of that, either. He can see the island, far in the distance, and the best he can do is guess.

"I, uh," He pauses to cough, notices how weird his voice sounds, wonders if how long it'll take to return to normal, "I dunno. Gotta be 300 meters, maybe- maybe more."

The person between them is already barely breathing, the water is staining red, and a sick feeling of dread is starting to pile in his stomach.

Quinn has a look of grief on his face, a panic not portrayed in his voice. He isn't sure if it's caused from the loss of his crew, or the increasing possibility of losing another. He isn't sure if there's any chance of the three of them making it to land alive.

He doesn't think he should voice that concern. So he doesn't.

Instead, he leads then towards the mountain he can just barely see, trying to swim as fast as he can while helping keep a barely responsive person floating.

It feels like they swim for a long time. It feels like they keep swimming and swimming and _swimming,_ and it barely feels like they're getting any closer.

Quinn keeps whispering to the other, and he can hear every word as clearly as if he were speaking them directly to him, the waves splashing against them are louder than they _should_ be, everything's _so_ _loud_.

He can't do anything but pretend it doesn't affect him. Pretend something isn't very clearly _wrong._

Pretend he _can't_ hear all three of their heartbeats. Pretend he _can't_ hear one of them is slowing with every breath.

Pretend that he _can't_ hear him _dying._

Quinn hasn't said anything to him since asking where the island was. His friend hasn't said anything at all.

The island seems closer, now. Maybe it's because he needs it to be, and his brain is tricking him into being hopeful. For a moment, he thinks, maybe it's okay, he'll need to swim back to his habitat for a med kit, but it's not _too_  far away, Quinn and him would be fine for a couple minutes. It'll be fine. _Everything will be fine._

He barely realizes it when they reach the island. He's trying so hard to tune out the roaring of whatever lives near the area, tune out the sound of the two breathing next to him. He doesn't want to hear either of their hearts stop. He terrified that one of their hearts will stop.

Everything seems far off and his eyes are blurry - why? His heart is beating way too fast, he feels dizzy, he feels _cold_. He can see Quinn's mouth moving, leaning down over the other crewmember - he still has no idea what his name is - but for once he can't hear him.

Red stains the sand.

"Oh, _god,"_ Sounds in his ear, but he's not sure who said it.

All at once, the feeling stops. He can hear the waves crashing against the sand, can feel the sun on his shoulders. He can hear his own breathing, and Quinn's.

He sees sightless eyes, and smells so much blood he almost chokes. His stomach twists, and he has to put most of his energy into not vomiting.

He can see a pack of giant crabs out of the corner of his eye. He scanned them, didn't he? Cave Crawlers. He thinks that's what it called them, at least. He knows they're carnivorous.

Leaving means the Sunbeam crewmember would be scavenged by the weird crabs. Staying means the same might happen to them.

"Hey, we- uh, we should go-"

"You want to leave him for those things?" Quinn snaps, but he doesn't seem angry at him.

"What else can we do?" He says, and words should be comforting or _something_ good, but his voice is monotone, and weak, and it just ends up sounding sad.

There's a few drawn out seconds, and the Crawlers are edging their way forward, and he wishes he brought his knife.

"We'll die if we don't go." He tries, careful to avoid looking at the body. Quinn is silent for a few more seconds, before he stands up. His hands are shaking, and his breathing is uneven.

"Lead the way," Quinn mutters. His voice is emotionless, but everything else about him tells otherwise. Everything else about him gives away his grief.

The swim back to the habitat he's built is silent, and longer than he estimated. He supposes that the Seamoth he took over to the island was obviously much quicker. He wonders if he should go back for it, but a moment later he determines it would be much less dangerous to just build a new one.

He thinks they're probably gonna be on the planet for a while, anyways.

He still hasn't checked for any updates on the other survivors. He hasn't found any clues as to where they would be. He's starting to think maybe he never will.

Finally stepping through the hatch was a bittersweet feeling. He had hoped he'd never step into the base again. He had hoped he could have left with the Sunbeam. He thinks that it could have ended up worst.

Quinn looked around the habitat walls for a few seconds, before speaking up.

"I never got your name," He turns to look at him as he says it.

"Ryley," He answers with a shrug, "Ryley Robinson."

Quinn hums. "Since you showed up, I assume you got our messages. Shouldn't be difficult to guess who I am."

"What if I were deaf?"

"If you were, how would you be able to answer all my questions?"

"What if I were really good at reading lips?"

"I've said things to you with my back turned."

Ryley blinks, "What if I had telepathy?"

"These are some bizarre 'what if' scenarios." Quinn shoots back.

"Only a little," He replies, sitting down and leaning his back against the wall. He finds the walls and floors are always cold in here, and a severe lack of blankets makes staying still a little miserable. "Sorry about not having chairs, or beds. Or… anything, really."

He realizes the habitat is fairly empty now that he looks around. Quinn hums again.

"Not the worst place I've ever stayed in," He says, as he sits down next to him, and Ryley can't tell if he's joking.

"There a story there?"

"One that I'm not giving to you," He replies. Ryley could almost feel a smile deep inside himself.

It was quiet for another few seconds.

"Cold," Quinn murmured.

"Yeah," Ryley said back.

The silence felt more awkward now.

Quinn moved, and leaned into him, just slightly.

Ryley felt just hopeless and scared enough to not care. Felt just starved for touch enough to lean back. Just barely on the edge of another breakdown, hearing another heartbeat and feeling another person simply next to him the only thing keeping his head above water. The only thing keeping from curling into a ball and crying until he passes out, because he knows he hasn’t slept for more than two days.

It doesn’t matter if they’ve only known each other barely an hour. They’re all the other has now.

Rescue ships will get shot down. He’s still too scared to rescan for other survivors, despite wanting to, wanting to know _so much_ what’s happened to those ten other people. He’s not sure he could handle the thought of the number being lower. He’s not sure he could handle the thought of it being _zero._

He tries to ignore everything, and focus on the sound of Quinn’s heartbeat.

It starts slowing down at some point, much later. Ryley feels his blood run cold when he notices. Upon looking down, though, he realizes that Quinn simply fell asleep. He exhales sharply, and tries to reassure himself for several long moments before he feels okay again.

He listens, and continues listening, to the steady thumping, until he eventually lolls himself into unconsciousness.

* * *

_Blind terror was pushing him on more than anything else._

_There’s sirens and flashing lights and the captain’s talking through the speakers, saying something that he doesn’t bother trying to stop and listen to, and he can hear people screaming and there’s smoke and fire and he’s confused and scared and alone-_

_He can see others, running, and his lungs ache and he can’t breathe-_

_“Robinson!” A voice shouts, and a hand is grabbing onto his arm, tight enough to hurt, and he lifts his head to see the second officer staring at him, his jaw set and his eyes watery, but he can’t tell if it’s from the black smoke burning them or something else._

_Both of his hands are gripping him._

_“You have to get to the lifepods, alright? Don’t panic. the captain and I are getting everyone else out. Everything is going to be okay, but you need to go, okay?”_

_“What about you? Where’s- where’s-”_

_“Everything will be fine,” Keen repeats, “Get to a pod.” He lets go of his arms, and stumbles off, back the way Ryley came._

_“You’ll die!” He calls after him, because he’s terrified and he needs someone with him, he can’t be alone please don’t leave-_

_The second in command turns his head, just enough to look at Ryley as he repeats to run to a lifepod, and his look of terror mixed with a sad resignation haunts him, stains in his memory and sticks and won’t leave him._

_Another explosion sounds from somewhere, and something snaps off the ship, collapsing in between him and Keen, and there’s fire spreading everywhere and he feels like he’s burning and he runs away, runs to the lifepods he had just been checking. He wasn’t done checking them they weren’t ready he held it off they shouldn’t be launching it was his fault it was his fault it was his fault-_

* * *

He awakes suddenly to a loud noise, akin to something crashing against the outside of the habitat. Quinn struggles awake from next to him.

Barely a moment later, there’s another thud, and both of them are standing and Ryley’s holding his knife in his hand when a third thumping sounds, close to the hatch.

“The hell is that?” Avery asks.

“The sharks don’t usually run into it more than once, so, no idea.”

“Wait, there’s _sharks_ here? _Nearby?”_

The sound of the hatch being opened prevents Ryley from replying.

The two of them stand close together, barely breathing, as someone walks around the coorider. Ryley doesn’t recognize him. He has unkempt black hair, and way skinnier than he probably should be. His eyes look tired. He looks sick. He looks like he’s dying.

"Finally," He breathes, his voice almost a whisper, but Ryley can still hear him clear as day. " _Finally_ ," He says again, like he's been waiting his entire life.  
  
"What?" Avery asks, confusion evident in his voice. His stance had dropped.  
  
"You're _here._ I've been waiting."  
  
He blinks at them, an almost warm and welcoming smile on his lips, his hands shaking, but Ryley doesn't know if it's from how sickly he looks or from adrenaline.  
  
"And _who_ are you? Another Aurora survivor?" Avery asks.  
  
His eyes shine, and Ryley thinks he looks like a burden has been both lifted from and thrown onto his shoulders.  
  
"My name is Bart Torgal. The sole survivor of the Degasi."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ryley:  
> avery:  
> ryley:  
> avery:  
> ryley:  
> avery:  
> bart: [breaks down door] HEY LOSERS I HAD A WEIRD FUCKIN DREAM ABOUT YOU


	4. Day 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have like a 0.1 idea of how to write bart. because like, ur dad and ur only other companion die (i mean like. they're alive in this au but bart doesn't know that) and ur stuck on this weird ocean planet for like 7 more years until someone finally shows up. and they get shot down just like u did and then the rescue for ur rescue gets shot down and like. almost 200 people are dead now because U crashed all that time ago. like that HAS to change u but where do u even START?? theres so much to unpack here, how does someone even sort out the level of trauma that must induce?? he was only 19 when all this shit started too. man poor bart :(

"Wait, Bart Torgal?" Avery questions, and Ryley blinks at him, tired, a little sad, and very, very confused. "Like, as in Torgal cooperation?"

Bart smiles again, but it seems more forced this time. "Have I been gone that long?"

"You can't tell?"

Bart shrugs. "The days and nights are different than others. Definitely shorter than Earth's. I lost my PDA that had been keeping track."

Avery looks a little incredulous.

"Wait, hold- hold on," Ryley cuts in, "What's the Degasi? What do you mean sole survivor? What the hell's _happening?"_

"The Degasi was a ship my father piloted. We crashed here... some years ago. My father and I, and a hired mercenary, were the only survivors. They.. both died a long while ago." Bart explained. His eyes flickered with sadness as he recounted. Ryley sympathized.

"The Degasi disappeared eight years ago." Bart's eyes dart over to Avery, who still looked as if he can't quite believe whoever the hell Bart Torgal is stands in front of him.

_"Disappeared?"_

"Nobody knew if you crashed. You just stopped responding to messages."

Ryley still felt a bit left out. "Why wasn't rescue sent for you?"

Bart blinked. "Wasn't the Aurora supposed to be that rescue?"

"No? We were sent to build a phasegate, Alterra never said anything about a Degasi or a rescue."

Avery scoffed. "Was anyone not Alterran on the ship?"

"One guy, but-"

"So they sent someone who would know about the Degasi and it's crew, and they fly around the planet the Degasi _crashed_ _on?_ They _lied."_

"We _were_ going to build a phasegate, though!" He insisted. They had all the parts on the ship, they were going to build a phasegate. Weren't they?

Ryley's thoughts weren't becoming any clearer, and he opted to pretend be had any clue what the other two were talking about.

"You two can discuss that later, there's more important issues to deal with first," Torgal added, changing the topic.

"Such as?" Quinn asked.

"There's other survivors."

Ryley felt his heart pick up. _Ozzy._

"Do you know any of their names?"

_Please say Ozzy, please say Ozzy-_

"Been busy looking for you all, never bothered asking."

His heart fell again.

Avery crossed his arms. "How many?"

Bart shrugs again. "Little under ten, last I checked in."

10 other survivors - no, one of them had to be Torgal - _9 Aurora survivors._ Maybe everyone his PDA picked up _were_ still alive?

"I can bring you to the island they're at," Bart continued, "One of them kept bugging me about a Ryley."

Ryley blinked and furrowed his eyebrows. "Wait, how do you know my name?"

Bart had already turned, disappearing around the corner. He didn't reply.

Ryley hurried after him, Quinn's footsteps sounding from close behind, "At least tell us how far this island is?"

"Doesn't matter, I brought Seamoths!" Bart called back.

"Is that what you ran into my habitat three times with?"

He heard the sound of a hatch opening, and another lack of reply. Ryley sighed.

"We're trusting that guy?" Ryley huffed, still entirely too confused by the last minute. Avery let out a short and quiet laugh from beside him.

"What makes him any less trustworthy than me?"

"You sounded nice in those radio messages!"

Avery opens his mouth, but a loud knock against the roof of the habitat cut him off from replying. Ryley knocked back with his fist. It didn't occur to him that Bart probably wouldn't hear it.

"Alright, but only because I'm hoping someone's on that island."

* * *

 

And because Bart Torgal apparently doesn't understand Ryley is really anxious to explore that other island, he drags them out to an outpost, and says it'll be easier to pick up his Cyclops. Also, this _random kid_ can pilot a Cyclops by himself.

And all that's fantastic, as he leads them to a place he calls a 'Mushroom Forest', until that weird demonic roaring he's heard countless times before starts picking up and maybe he should be more worried about this whole _'suddenly able to hear things really far away really really well'_ thing, but he's not sure how to bring that up in conversation, and neither Bart nor Avery point it out, so he decides to ignore it for now.

He sees the Cyclops before he sees the habitat, and the habitat before the mangled lifepod sitting just outside.

"The hell happened there?" Avery questions, his voice quiet, almost shaky. Ryley feels uneasy himself staring at the pod.

It looks worse than the two he's found. Burn marks covered the sides, staining the white into a murky black, and holes were torn throughout. He thinks he sees some blood coating one side. It's flattened more than their lifepod's usually should be.

"He's fine," Bart quickly reassures, "I was sitting in this outpost when I heard the explosion, and the lifepod hit the water. Lucky I was here. Would've drowned if I weren't." His voice sounds tight, like the thought hurt him.

Ryley didn't want to think back to it, but couldn't stop his brain from thinking about who could've been in the pod. He can just barely remember seeing someone jump in alone, into 13, he can just barely drown out everything else and focus on just the one person-

"He ended up hurt pretty badly, been staying in this outpost."

"You sure he's okay now?" Avery asks, before hopping out of his Seamoth. Ryley didn't really want to get out - the Seamoth felt much safer. Especially when the roaring is louder than it usually is. There's more than one and they're nearby, how can they _not_ hear it?

He takes a deep breath before following.

Bart remains silent again. Ryley wondered why he avoided answering. He'd been alone so much longer than Ryley, and he wanted to talk and talk and talk about everything. He wanted to tell anyone who would listen everything he learned about the fish, the glowing plants, the fact that everything is so giant that even the _small fish_ are longer than his arm.

He really wants to talk about loud everything is. Maybe it's something on the planet. Maybe he _should_ ask. He thinks Bart probably won't answer.

The outpost is smaller than the habitat Ryley built, barely more than two compartments, but with Torgal referring to it as an outpost, he assumes that he's built larger ones elsewhere.

Bart swims to the hatch on the outpost, without so much of a glance at the Cyclops. Ryley looks over at Avery, who rolls his eyes, but follows him a second later.

Ryley briefly considers getting back in the Seamoth and going to the island himself - he remembers seeing two, he could swim himself there.

Another part of him concludes that Bart's probably only stopping for a minute, and nervously follows them inside.

Almost immediately, he notices the fourth person leaning against the wall next to a fabricator - were others really this close to him the entire time? - but they don't look surprised as their eyes flicker between the three. Bart walks past them to a locker without an acknowledgement.

"Thought you were taking them to the island," The person questions, as they look the two of them up and down. Their eyes settle on Ryley longer than Avery. Maybe they recognized him. He couldn't recall their name.

"Bringing you with us," Bart replies, as he closes the locker with a water bottle in his hand. Ryley heard something crackling, and glanced at his other hand to see a piece of paper being stuffed into a pocket. "Needed the Cyclops, too."

The fourth person raises an eyebrow, but didn't ask anything else. Instead they turn back to Ryley and Avery.

"He tell you about me?"

"Just that you nearly died out there," Avery answers.

"Name's Jochi. Already know you two."

"How?" Ryley asks, desperate to understand how these two strangers know their names already.

Jochi shrugs. "Don't know how it works, kid calls them future visions,"

"Easiest way to describe them!" Bart defends.

Jochi laughs. "Sure."

Ryley is just as confused as he was before.

"Alright, c'mon, to the Cyclops, we're on a time limit here," Bart says, still holding his unopened water as he walks past them yet again.

"Time limit?" Ryley mutters, glancing at Jochi, who just shrugs, but a nervous look on his face and his heartbeat picking up made Ryley think he knew more than he let on. Jochi quickly limped after Bart.

Ryley stares at Avery, who looks just as lost as him. Quinn turns and follows, yet again, without any comments. Ryley wishes he talked more. He's starting to hate hearing their heartbeats and the roars he swears he's been hearing everywhere he goes for the past week.

He stifles a sigh, and follows after them.

At least Ozzy might be on the island. They'd talk as much as Ryley wanted. They'd probably do just about anything Ryley asked.

He _really_ hopes Ozzy is there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ryley, crying: PLEASE tell me how the FUCK you know our names and WHY do i have superhearing  
> bart:  
> bart: *grabs water bottle*  
> bart: i am not going to drink this i just want you to shut the fuck up and get in my boat


	5. Day 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *fortnight dances* POV CHANGE BABY HERE COMES A MOTHERFUCKER

On one hand, maybe he’d be considered lucky. To be alive, despite barely making it to a still under maintenance lifepod. To have landed three hundred meters down, but in a deserted, almost lifeless area. To have only needed to swim a few dozen meters to reach the rendezvous.

Maybe he was lucky that he only needed to wait an excruciating difficult hour before someone else showed up. Maybe he was lucky it was Yu and Berkeley. At least he knew two of his friends were alive and as well off as someone could be in the situation.

Maybe he was lucky that when he and Emily swam out to the Aurora, leaving Milo alone with no idea when they’d return, _if_ they did at all, that the leviathans they encountered weren’t interested at the time, that they could hide. Maybe they were lucky to have found someone in a still floating pod. Maybe they were lucky to return to the island with more than they left with.

Maybe he was lucky that within four hours, two more found the landmass. Maybe he was lucky when a member of the medical staff was found on the beach a week later. Maybe they were lucky to have others still showing up.

Maybe he was lucky. Maybe they were lucky.

It doesn’t stop him from thinking about the amount of dead crew there were. Doesn’t stop him from thinking about how he _knew_ they were going to this planet, and most everyone else _didn’t_. Doesn’t stop him from thinking that blood is on _his_ hands.

It doesn’t stop him from thinking about the captain’s last words over and over. Doesn’t stop him from wondering whether Jochi was alive or another that he didn’t do enough to save.

It doesn’t stop the fact that something was in the water, infecting them, and Danby was showing symptoms faster than the rest. Doesn’t stop the fact he doesn’t eat or drink, barely sleeps, just lays in bed wheezing and covered in green blisters that bleed and scab. Doesn’t stop that Danby won’t even talk anymore.

It doesn’t stop the fact that Ozzy sits right next to him, with pure terror and grief in their eyes. Doesn’t stop that they won’t eat or drink or sleep either, unless pried away, unless they pass out, unless Quill can convince them to just take a bite out of anything at all.

It doesn’t stop the fact that they’re dying, at various paces, and he can do _nothing_ at all to stop it.

And the sun rises, Micah and Beatrix leave to find more food, more wrecks, more lifepods, more survivors. The sun rises, and Milo passes him, without a word, without a glance, to check on Danby and Ozzy, despite knowing nothing else will have changed until Danby draws a final breath.

The sun rises, and he stares blankly at the wall, thinking about Vance’s last words to him. The sun rises, and he wishes he told Jochi anything at all about how much he cared for him.

The sun rises, and _maybe_ he’s lucky to see that sun, but he can’t convince himself that he _deserves_ to.

The day passes, and nothing new or different happens at all, so finally, once the others have retreated to their rooms, he goes outside. He climbs up one of the mountains, and sits next to the rusty destroyed door that belonged to the observatory built by the Degasi.

He wondered if any of them were still alive. He hopes they are. He knows how much Jochi was wishing they were safe.

He thinks about Jochi a lot now.

He stares at the Aurora, remembers Vance and Jochi, remembers the various faces he passed trying to get everyone out, trying to find them, trying to do _anything_ at all. He remembers talking and yelling and hearing screaming and crying. He remembers others confused and scared, trying to find a friend or partner. He remembers some more than others, and that somehow makes everything _worst_.

He remembers Robinson, most of all. He remembers seeing him struggling to breathe, tears streaming down his face, all alone. He remembers telling him to run, and he was the only one who didn’t listen instantly. He was the only one who asked _‘what about you’._ The last time he glanced back, rubble crashed between them.

He hasn’t shown up yet. Was he even alive?

A noise brought him away from his thoughts, and he glanced up to the CTO a few feet away.

“You sure you're good?"

On one hand, she’s his friend, and he knows he should probably tell her. On the other, he’s supposed to be the captain now, and who wants to see their captain, who should bring them comfort and hope, have a breakdown?

"Yeah. Fine."

It's an obvious lie.

"Did you find anything?" He asks, as she sits down next to him.

"In that kelp field, a lifepod - 3, I think it was. Nobody around, not even any PDAs like the others."

He sighs.

"Other than that," She continues, "Just that there's a leviathan near it. Also, _totally_ unrelated to that, I swear, but we might've lost the Seamoth. Milo said sorry."

"He let a leviathan get near him?"

"What? No. I said it was unrelated. What idiot would let one of those things catch him?"

"Is he hurt?"

Emily sighs. "Just a scratch on his arm. One of it's mandible arm things caught him as he was getting out. Wish Danby could tell me if I bandaged it properly." Her voices shakes just slightly at the end as she answers.

He hums. "I'm sure you did your best."

"And if it's not good enough?"

"Then… if Danby's anything to go by, we're probably gonna all die anyway."

"Comforting." Emily replies, with a humorless laugh.

"Sorry," He croaks.

They fall quiet, for a few moments, watching the flicker of flames on the Aurora.

"Who are you thinking about now?" Her voice is quiet, soft in a way.

He could tell her, or he could stay silent. She'd worry either way. She'd only believe him if he told the truth.

"Probably just thinking too much about all of it."

It's barely more than a whisper, his voice weak and strained. He doesn't say anything else, doesn't explain, but she seems to understand all the same. She leans against him, a comforting weight against his shoulder.

"I'm sure you did _your_ best."

They sat together for a while, staring at the wrecked ship in silence.

He thinks about Vance.

He knows he helped them in the end. The Aurora was mostly intact. There were survivors. If he hadn't tried to control it, if he had ran, maybe everything would be worst.

But he _really_ wishes he were beside him, too.

Yu moves away, and he has to stop himself from trailing after the touch. She stands back up, dusts off her legs, and stretches.

"They others are probably wondering where we are, so… you know, we should probably get back to base."

He hums. "Maybe. I think you just want to spend more time with Milo."

She scoffs. "Only to make sure he's not dying."

"Sure,"

She kicks him playfully in the leg, a sheepish smile on her face.

"Shut up. You gonna sit here all night or actually use the bed we spent so much time building for you?"

"What makes you think I haven't used it?" He asks as he pushes himself off the dirt.

"Because you have to walk past Danby's room to reach yours, and Ozzy hasn't seen you since they got here. Where the hell do you sleep?"

"I don't."

"Fantastic. I'm dragging you to my bed and you're gonna stay there all night."

"Don't phrase it like that."

"Why'd you have to make it seem weird? I'll just share with Milo."

"That doesn't make me feel better. If you two start f-"

"Don't even _think_ about finishing that sentence!"

He laughs, genuinely, for the first time in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i saw an post about hollister and keen having a father-son relationship and decided to sprinkle some of that in :)
> 
> anyway yu's horny on main and keen is her mutual that tells her to shut the fuck up


	6. Day 27

"How long is this gonna take?"

"An hour, maybe."

"Robinson and I  _ swam _ from one of the islands to his habitat in less than twenty minutes."

"Well, a Cyclops is slower. And it's hard to maneuver."

"Why not let me help, then? I can pilot one of these things easily."

"If you  _ insist," _

Ryley listened to the conversation from the midsection of the ship. Jochi sat in one of the few chairs scattered about, flipping through various pages in a PDA that had been on the desk next to him.

The Cyclops looked as if Bart used it for more than transportation. A bed was tucked into one corner in the corridor leading to the bridge. A growbed and an aquarium were also strewn in, alongside several chairs, lockers, and a desk. He had even spotted a coffee maker next to a fabricator. How the hell did he even find a blueprint for that?

In particular, he noticed a single photo, smaller than the others, that was without a frame. The sides were torn, and folding crests striked down the middle of it - it appeared to be taped to the wall. Two people were in it - one seeming much older than the other. Both were smiling at the camera, despite the older one having an exhausted look on their face.

Ryley guessed it was the Torgals.

"Have you found any others?"

Ryley jumps at the voice, turning his gaze to Jochi. He still flipped through the PDA, looking almost nonchalant.

"I've found two lifepods. Haven't seen anyone."

Jochi hums, quietly, and Ryley thinks that normally he wouldn't have heard it at all.

"Is there someone you're looking for?"

Jochi pauses at the question, for only a moment, before shrugging his shoulders. "Perhaps. Are you?"

Ryley pictures the last time he saw Ozzy, when they were getting coffee together. He remembers them laughing at some dumb joke, but the words are muffled and he can't truly remember what either of them are saying.

"A friend, yeah." His voice is quiet as he answers.

_ Please let Ozzy be okay. _

There's a beat of silence.

Jochi turns his head away from the PDA, and for a moment they just look at each other, and Ryley wonders if anything's really getting better at all, because he feels so incredibly helpless. He has to avert his gaze and blink several times to stop his suddenly all-too-watery eyes.

"Maybe we'll both end up lucky," Jochi replies softly.

* * *

When they finally reach the island, Ryley is restless. He really wants to run and yell and find Ozzy and maybe finally get a hug. He also really wants to sit on the ground and die right there because he's not sure what he's going to do if Ozzy  _ isn't _ there.

He really hopes  _ someone _ he knows if there, at the very least.

_ Please _ let at least  _ one _ of his friends be alive.

Instead of doing either of those things, he exits the Cyclops behind Bart and Avery, and silently follows them onto the beach.

At first glance, there's absolutely nothing on the island. Trees, plants, sand - nothing he can see that would prove any animal has even touched the grass.

Ryley sure can hear it though. He can hear more cave crawlers running through the sand. He can hear heartbeats, can hear footsteps, he can hear wheezing and whispers and he can  _ hear them.  _ Just the realization that others were alive and nearby is enough to almost make him breakdown right then and there.

Then someone slides down the hill, into view.

Ryley only vaguely recognizes her. He doesn't know her name. She doesn't seem to recognize any of them, either.

"You built a fuckin Cyclops?" Is the first thing she says.

"I've had a long time to be able to." Bart responds with a smile. The person crosses her arms and remains silent for a few moments.

"Who are you?" She asks, but she almost sounds like she already knows the answer.

"Bart Torgal. I suppose you know that name by now."

She hums. "Yeah. The Degasi has been talk of the town lately. How the hell are you still alive?" Bart shrugs.

"Long story, not one that needs telling right now. Where are the others?"

She gestures back to the plant life behind her. "This way, but you're going to have to sleep on the floor until we make more rooms and beds. You deserve that for making us think you were dead for a month."

* * *

Their habitat was set in the lagoon on the island. Ryley didn't think it looked much bigger than his own, despite housing almost ten people, if Bart was right. He couldn't hear more than four people inside. He itched to know who they were.

"Are any other Degasi members alive? Or anyone else from the Aurora?"

"No. No, we're the last ones." Bart answers, his tone unbearably monotone and casual for the words.

"Oh. Sorry." She replies quietly.

"Nothing you did wrong."

They continue to the hatch in silence. Ryley's heart feels heavy as he considers the words. Three crashes, over 150 people, and - a little over ten of them were left? Why did so many of them die so quickly? Why did everyone seem so convinced they were going to join them?

He glances at Avery, but he doesn't look back - he just walks quietly, staring ahead at nothing in particular, completely and utterly robotic.

He wonders why everyone else seems to know something he doesn't as he follows the others into the habitat.

"Hey boys! More of 'em showed up!" The person Ryley still doesn't know the name of calls, as they walk into a open compartment.

"How long has he been showing symptoms?" Bart asks a second later, and she simply blinks at him.

"Miles." Bart adds, as if that solves any confusion at all. Avery stares at him.

"I thought you didn't know anyone else's names?"

"I lied, didn't want anyone else to have a breakdown on my base - it's imperative that you answer."

"Uh, if by symptoms you mean those weird green glowy things - couple hours after he showed up."

"What do you- green- what?" Avery cut in again, and yeah, Ryley is probably on exactly the same level of confusion. Bart ignores the question, as two people walk into the room through a corridor off to the left.

Ryley immediately recognizes Keen. The second officer's eyes immediately flickered to someone else in the room.

"By the way, the exhausted looking tall child says he's that Torgal kid. He also seems to know our names without anyone telling him, so he might just be a weird prophet we found." She adds in to Keen, sounding slightly more humorous than previously.

Bart rolls his eyes as he takes a step forward. Keen's gaze finally turns to Torgal, though he keeps glancing back, and Ryley realizes he's looking at Jochi.

Ryley turns his head to Avery, who looks plain exasperated at this point.

"If you are from the Degasi," The other new guy starts, and Ryley really wishes they'd just introduce themselves, "why haven't you shown up earlier? We've been here a month. What were you doing?"

"Looking for other survivors. There are none left, so now I'm here." Bart replies easily, a bit snarky.

Keen blinks at him. "I highly doubt anymore rescue is going to be looking for us, and even if they do it'll be another five-plus year wait. If we're all that's left, how much longer do you suppose we bother trying?"

Bart's heartbeat picks up. Ryley tries to ignore the worry that worms it's way into his stomach.

"It's dangerous, and we likely won't all make it out alive - but I know how to get off this planet, and I have a plan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that the ending is kind of rushed and shitty i got stuck writing the last 500 words for some reason ajdnskndja


	7. Day 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uHHHHH SO. sorry if im late replying to ur comments or don't reply at all. im a very small and nervous man, and also very easily distracted and forgetful. it is not personal i am simply Not Good At Conversation™  
> i see all ur comments and i love them and i love u and thank you for leaving them!!!
> 
> anyways uhhhh time for the Keen Thinks About How Much He Loves Jochi Khasar For A Solid 20 Minutes chapter

"If you know how to leave, why _haven't_ you?"

Milo's the first to reply, and Keen's not sure if he's frustrated or scared, but he definitely looks upset.

"It's not something I could do alone. Simple day to day survival is near impossible sometimes here, let alone trying to build a way out." Torgal's reply is borderline snappy, sounding nothing at all to how Keen thought he'd be. He'd been described as rational - naive, maybe - kind-hearted.

The Torgal in front of him seems almost uncaring. Bitter. A completely different man.

Keen doesn't even know him and it hurts him a little bit. He wonders how Jochi feels.

He's wondering a lot about Jochi. Because he didn't know if Jochi was alive or not for _weeks_ and now he's standing on the _other side of the room_ and Roman wants nothing more than to run over to him.

He's all too aware of everyone else in the room. All too aware of contracts and rules he's breaking just by having these emotions, let alone _acting_ on them, and he can't do anything. He can't let _anyone_ know _anything_ and he can only stare back with an itch to do anything at all to let Jochi know.

He finds himself once again fighting between the leadership role he's been thrown into, and the part of him that's human.

His eyes dart to Robinson's for just a second, and he stares back and Roman realizes he's starting to catch on. He knows he's staring at Jochi. Robinson's going to find out and everything will be _ruined._

He digs his fingernails into the palm of his hand, and tries his hardest to avoid even looking at him. Nobody can know. There's too much for them both to lose.

"You're expecting us to help you." He asks instead, but it ends up sounding more like a statement.

Torgal shrugs. "I'd say it's more _me_ helping _you,_ but why would you not? What's there to lose?"

"Our _lives?"_

"You'll die of the sickness or the radiation the Aurora's emitting if you do nothing."

Roman shares a look with Milo.

"..Alright," He sighs, "We'll _consider_ it. The least you could do is explain this highly dangerous, deadly, several people required plan of yours."

Torgal smiles, but Roman can't help but feel it looks like it couldn't possibly be genuine.

 

* * *

 

In the end, most if them had dispersed, and Torgal only announced his ideas to Emily and Roman. He wasn't exactly sure if Yu stayed because she felt like she had responsibility, or if it was an unsaid last resort incase something were to happen to Torgal and him.

He only barely paid attention. He _tried_ to listen, he truly did, but his mind kept wandering to whether any of them were going to die regardless of anything they did, kept thinking of what he'd do if he survives and others don't.

He keeps thinking of Jochi, and he's starting to realize why relationships with coworkers are prohibited. _Especially_ prohibited when you're a commander. There's lives on the line and he's thinking about himself and the emissary, when he should be thinking of exactly everyone else and not himself. Jochi Khasar should be the _last_ person on his mind. Jochi Khasar should be the _last_ person he's worried about.

He's almost grateful when Torgal finally stops talking, and Emily says something to him. He really wants to find Jochi and say _something_ to him.

"Where are you going now?" Emily asks as Torgal starts to walk off.

He hums as he turns to face her again. "I'll be back in three days."

"That's not an answer."

"You don't need one. Just be ready." And he turns and walks away without another word.

Keen blinks as he watches him leave, the feeling in his gut returning.

"Well…" Emily starts, "That guy's kinda weird. Smart, and clearly knows what he's doing - but really weird."

Keen taps his finger against the table he sat at. "Being stranded alone on an alien ocean world for eight years probably does that to you."

Emily laughs. "Good point."

There's a small beat of silence, and Keen stands up. "I'm going to check on the others."

"Don't forget to tell them about who else survived."

"Of course."

He walks out of the room and promptly looks for one person.

 

* * *

 

Robinson and the blonde he's never seen before seem to be sticking together. Khasar seemingly wasn't in the habitat. Roman assumed he followed after Torgal, and would be back inside in a few minutes.

Upon hearing the name _'Ozzy'_ , Robinson's eyes light up.

It was sickeningly bittersweet watching Ozzy finally look up from Danby at the sound of Robinson's voice. Sickeningly bittersweet to see the tears and laughter and smiles.

They were happy, but Danby still lay sick beside them, and they were still stuck on this island, and their deaths still loomed over them.

He glances at Quinn for a moment, and turns away, makes sure no one is watching or following him, and exits the habitat, trying to find the one person he's been thinking nonstop about.

Roman finally spots him at one edge of the island with a view of the Aurora. Jochi seemed to be staring off at either it or something in the water. Roman suddenly finds himself anxious as he tries to think of something to say.

He swallows, and takes a step forward, and the sand crunching underneath his feet startles Jochi into turning around.

The two stare at each other for a few silent seconds, and Roman's nerves are on fire, and he's sure he's holding his breath as he waits for something to happen.

"Hi," He tries, but it comes out quietly, and it somehow makes his heart beat even faster.

"Hi." Jochi smiles, a sight that surely melts the hearts of whoever sees it, because it's maybe one of the best things he's _ever_ seen in his life.

"Had me worried something happened to you for a second there, emissary,"

And Jochi laughs, and Roman finally stumbles towards him, and when he wraps his arms around him he grabs fist fulls of his shirt and buries his head in his chest and his eyes are watery all of a sudden and he doesn't think he ever wants to let go.

"Right back at you, captain." Murmurs Jochi, and one of his hands is in his hair and Roman's already thinking of an excuse for it being ruffled.

The reminder of being captain is a bittersweet sting, because he's not even second in command anymore, he _is_ captain.

But Jochi's nickname for him has been _captain_ since they first met, so he thinks he can start to get used to the title.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bart torgal? being a mysterious bastard? its more likely than u think
> 
>  
> 
> this one ends on a good note bc Its About To Go Down >:3c


	8. Day 28 (..still)

“Hey, Bea! I found some weird place!”

Beatrix turned her head to the sea floor where Micah stared off into. It was a decline into a sandy area, and Beatrix couldn’t see any plants or fish swimming around, but it was also too dark to see much.

“Creepy,” Beatrix responded as she swam closer to him. He hummed in agreement.

“Think it’s that place the CTO was talking about?”

“Maybe? Didn’t she say there were, like, weird glowly ghost kelp things? And giant crabs! Big emphasis on the crabs.”

“Maybe they’re just farther in.”

Beatrix watched as he swam further into the darkness, before hastily following after him. Thankfully, she could track him by his Seaglide’s flashlight. She could barely see five feet in front of her otherwise.

She could hear echoey roars from somewhere, but it was impossible to look around for whatever was making the noises. Nervousness started tugging at her heart.

"That's… worrying," She commented, pausing to listen. Micah stopped beside her.

"Yeah..- hey, whatssat?"

"What's what?"

Micah swam down towards something Beatrix had never seen before. It looked like a large black vent, and a softly glowing green paint coated the sides. She jumped back as a peeper shot out of one side, almost hitting her as it quickly swam away.

Micah laughed. Beatrix rolled her eyes, despite knowing he wouldn't be able to see the gesture.

They watched as a different peeper swam into the other side of the vent, sucking in water instead of expelling it out.

"What d'ya think it is?" Micah asked. Beatrix hummed.

"Well, clearly something's been building. Some sort of vent?"

"Think it was aliens?"

 _"Of course_ it was aliens."

"Vent for...catching fish?"

Beatrix watched as another peeper swam out and away. "No, they're leaving too, it's not capturing them."

"Maybe the aliens just aren't around to pick them up anymore."

Another peeper flung itself into one side of it.

"There's only peepers." Beatrix noticed. The small fish didn't seem to fear the glowing rectangle, and swam around the two people without an ounce of the usual caution they had. She frowned.

"Weird."

Micah murmured an agreement.

The two watched the peepers floating in and out for a few more moments, before a beeping drew Beatrix's gaze away. She looked around, trying to find the way back to the grassy platforms they had been in. She couldn't see the slope back up.

"C'mon, we can see the islands from the surface," Micah tapped her arm as he started the swim back up. "Don't like this place very much anyways."

"Yeah," Beatrix agreed absentmindedly as she followed him up.

The rise took a few long moments, and Beatrix realised they had been almost 200 meters down.

"See? We aren't even that far!" Micah proclaimed as he spotted the island the few remaining of them had been living on.

"Personally, I find it unsettling that we're close to whatever the hell that place is."

"This _entire planet_ is unsettling. I've chosen to get over it."

Beatrix huffed out a quiet laugh.

 

* * *

 

The swim back to the island took longer than Beatrix expected. They stayed on the surface the entire time, and Beatrix tried to ignore how the cries of something below made her feel queasy. She always felt as relieved as the first time upon standing up on the sand.

"Quill! Jordan!"

Beatrix sighed, and Micah threw his head back with a groan. A moment later, Keen was walking towards them. His face was slightly flushed, and his hair was a bit more wild than usual. She blinked.

"Who've you been making out with?"

Keen stared at her for a moment with a surprised expression, before turning his gaze to Micah. "You were supposed to be back yesterday, and you were supposed to bring back food."

Micah shrugged. "Don't we have enough food?"

"You still shouldn't lie about how long you'll be out. We were worried."

"Worried that you'd actually have to start helping if we died?"

Beatrix bumped harshly against his shoulder with a glare. Keen's expression didn't falter.

"I wonder how much any of you ever do," Micah muttered as he reached into one of the packets they carried with them. He pulled out a PDA and shoved it into Keen's chest. "We found a lifepod out near the Aurora-"

"I thought I told you to _never-_ "

"Well, we did. And apparently our _medical team_ can't even be trusted. Thanks, Alterra." Micah hissed the words, and promptly walked off. Beatrix stared after him.

"Sorry about him. He doesn't like you."

"Clearly."

Beatrix blinked at him and winced. "I didn't mean- that was a joke. He just doesn't want to die on an alien planet without even knowing why he ended up there, ya know?"

"Sure."

Keen fiddled with the PDA. Beatrix stared at the waves crashing against her feet.

"Any updates?" She asks, because she always does, and his answer is always the same.

His eyes glanced up from the screen.

"Actually, for once, yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that this chapter's kinda short!! haven't had much time to write this week lol :o


	9. Day 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter just to set up character relations? in MY subnautica fanfic?? it's more likely than you think

If there's one thing Emily could give the planet, it  _ was _ beautiful. There's a faint sound of chirping, almost like crickets, and the trees cast a blue overglow in the darkness. The sound of the waves are almost calming. If she closes her eyes, she can almost imagine she's on a beach, perfectly safe, able to leave whenever she would like.

She can see the Aurora, still burning, from the hill she sat on, on an edge of land. Her legs dangled over. She didn't worry about the possibility of falling; even if she did, she'd land in water, and no fish ever swam around the island. She didn't fear the surface here.

"Nights out here are nice, aren't they?" A voice says from behind her. She turns her head to smile at him.

"I suppose they are," She replies.

Milo sat down beside her. It was almost tempting to reach for his hand.

"I've never known you to go out for midnight walks, however. Something wrong?" He asks. Emily could almost laugh. Her heart certainly fluttered.

"Is it that easy to tell?" She asks.

"Maybe not for the others. It is for me." Came his reply. He was always genuine, always honest. Always seeing right through her.

She hums, thinks about her answer. "Just… thinking. About everything."

Milo hums back, and they both fall quiet. Emily thinks for a few more seconds before opening her mouth.

"I… dragged you into this job. You wouldn't be here if it weren't for me."

"Em, don't do that to yourself."

"Why? It's true. I told you to take the job with me-"

"That doesn't make it your fault. You couldn't have known this would happen,"

"You wouldn't be here if I didn't force you to be."

"Hey, I made my own choice. You asked me. I could've said no. I was on the Aurora because I  _ chose _ to be."

"You shouldn't have needed to make a choice."

Milo fell quiet with that, and so Emily did, too. She could feel his gaze on her, could tell he felt nothing but sympathy and a refusal to blame her.

"If you knew the Aurora would crash, back when I told you about the job, you wouldn't have joined me. This is my fault."

Her voice is quiet now, her heart aching just a little bit more than it has since they became stranded. She thinks the weight of everything is finally starting to catch up to her.

Milo is quiet for a few seconds, but he's still looking at her.

"If I had known that this ship would crash, and you'd be  _ alone _ in that lifepod down there, I wouldn't hesitate in saying yes." He softly replies.

She finally looks back up at him, and her heart starts thudding against her chest again. His eyes held comfort, held trust, were the same brown eyes she's fallen for again and again and  _ again _ .

She finally gives in, and reaches for his hand. And he intertwines their fingers, but of  _ course _ he does. 

Even in the barely visible glow, she can see him swallow, can see the nervousness written on his face. 

_ Fuck it, _ she thinks, and she leans in, and they're  _ really _ close now-

"Hey-"

They both jump back at the third voice, and Emily turns her head to look back again. Beatrix stood next to a tree. She blinks at them.

"Uh, I'm not interrupting something, am I?" She asks.

"Actually, yeah, we were having a moment." Emily responds, her face burning just a bit. Hopefully it's not noticeable.

"Sorry," Beatrix replies, sounding not very sorry at all. A small smirk is on her face.

"Did you need something?" She asks, standing up.

"Oh, yeah! Torgal's back, he's calling a meeting."

"A meeting?" Berkeley asks, taking Yu's hand as she offers it to help him up, "About what?"

Beatrix shrugs. "Didn't say."

Milo and Emily share a look, before Emily takes a few steps forward, Milo close behind.

"Well, lead the way, then," Emily nods to Beatrix, who raises an eyebrow as she looks between her and Milo, before turning and walking back to the lagoon where their habitat lay.

"Any guesses?" Emily asks, turning her gaze to Beatrix.

"Probably something to do with the Aurora. Apparently that's where he ran off to the past couple days."

"Who told you that?" Berkeley cuts in.

"Robinson says he overheard him tell Khasar he was goin' to the ship." Beatrix replies.

"What's there even to  _ do _ with the Aurora?" Emily wonders.

"Capn' did a controlled descent, remember? It's still mostly intact. The long-range radio could still be working. If we find a way inside, we could send a message to Alterra."

"Roman and I tried to reach it already," Emily argues, "There's no way inside, and it's littered with leviathans."

"Yeah,  _ before _ the drive core blew up." Beatrix says. "There might be a way in now, right? Plus, it's still fallin' apart."

Emily hums, but doesn't reply, as they walk down the tunnel that leads to the lagoon. Micah and Ryley are standing outside, and look up as the three approach.

"Em, you're the only other person anybody will listen to," Micah starts, "Please convince them that Torgal is crazy and is going to get us all killed."

"Bart's been here longer than any of us, he knows what he's doing!" Ryley argues defensively.

"Okay, what's happening?" She raises an eyebrow as her gaze flicks between the two.

"He didn't wait for us? Why'd he even have me go fetch them?" Beatrix muttered, crossing her arms.

"Because he doesn't know what he's doing!" Micah answers, sounding annoyed. Ryley rolls his eyes from beside him.

"He's inside, go talk to him." Micah says, gesturing to the hatch. "I have to convince Ryley he's  _ wrong _ ." Ryley stares at him with furrowed brows at the comment. Emily rolls her eyes.

"Yeah, just don't kill each other," She says absentmindedly, as she opens the hatch and walks inside, Berkeley and Quill following behind her.


	10. Day 32

Frankly, Emily thought it was a dangerous, emotionally driven,  _ stupid _ idea.

She almost died the last time they went near the Aurora, the radiation alone was strong enough that their radiation suits were almost too weak to sustain being near the wrecked ship. Not to mention the aggressive carnivorous animals that seemed to remain at its side.

Not to mention the aggressive carnivorous  _ leviathans. _

Robinson seemed to trust the guy. But frankly, Emily also didn't know his name until three days ago, because he had been nothing more than a janitor who spoke to maybe three people on board the Aurora. Emily certainly hadn't been one of them. She doesn't particularly care that Ryley thought it was smart.

Khasar seemed to trust him, too. Emily thought they must have known each other before either of them ended up here; she thought they looked awfully close for two people who supposedly met less than a month ago.

Supposedly three ships have crashed on this planet. Supposedly the Torgal is a survivor from the first crash. Supposedly Roman, one of her best and most honest and trustworthy friends, knows a lot more about Bart and the Degasi than he's ever bothered to even hint.

And now she stands in front of some poor rich kid, a janitor, and an emissary, and they ask her to swim out to the falling apart ship over a thousand meters away guarded by several things that want to and can eat them.

She thinks it's a terrible,  _ terrible _ idea.

Milo thinks it's a  _ terrible idea. _

_ Roman _ thinks it's a  _ terrible idea. _ Or so he says. She thinks he lies an awful lot anymore. Or maybe he always had been. She's only known him two years.

"The radiation will destroy the little life on this planet," Bart insists.

"The radiation will kill  _ us _ ," Milo argues.

"The  _ leviathans _ will kill us before we can get close to the ship!" Micah adds on.

Bart looks almost doubtful now. Emily wonders if they changed his mind. He sighs, and turns his gaze back to her.

"There's safe routes. We can't just let the ecosystem suffer like this if we can stop it."

"Is everything about this dumb planet that wants us dead the only thing you care about?" Micah snapped back. Bart stared at him for a second before looking away again.

Roman sighed from beside her.

"Maybe he has a point-"

"Of course you think this a good idea." Micah muttered. Roman glared at him.

"In the captain's quarters there's blueprints for an emergency rocket. The Degasi crashed eight years ago and we're only just now arriving for them. Alterra might not even bother sending something for us. We have to save ourselves if you don't want to wait another decade."

There was a beat of silence.

"That's- alright, that's a really good reason, actually," Emily started, crossing her arms over her chest, "I'm pretty sure we'll all be dead well before a decade, this place is the  _ worst _ . And, I mean, if there's safe paths.."

"I, personally, think this could be very fun, and am all for going on a creepy ocean adventure to the radioactive basically-a-bomb ship," Beatrix piped up, with a grin. Micah glares at her and sighs.

"Alright, well, I guess we're going to the Aurora. The reaper infested, radiated, on fire  _ death machine _ . Apparently we've all suddenly agreed to that." He muttered. 

"Surely we don't  _ all _ have to go? What about Danby and Ozzy?" Milo questioned.

"I just need someone who knows the passcodes through the ship. Anyone who doesn't want to go doesn't need to."

Emily raised her eyebrows. "Your ability to just know things without anyone telling you first is starting to get creepy. How do you know there's doors still currently locked? Are you actually a prophet?"

"I can explain on the way."

"Alright, weird prophet guy. I'm calling you that now, hope you like it."

 

* * *

However much getting an explanation intrigues her, she ends up choosing to stay. Roman asks her to. Just in case, he said; just in case they don't return. He said he trusts her to look after the others. The thought of all six of them never returning makes her stomach twist with dread.

And however much Roman is keeping from her, she feels he must have good reasoning. And he's still her friend. She finds herself  _ really _ hoping he turns out fine. She'd really miss him. And hasn't she lost enough anyway?

Milo stands beside her as they watch the small group huddled near Torgal's Cyclops. She used to think it was impressive, when she had thought he was just another member of the Aurora she never bothered talking to. Now it just feels sad, knowing he built it alone. Sometime throughout the last eight years.

She thinks she'd have gone crazy if she was left alone on an alien planet for just a few weeks. Let alone a decade.

Khasar was talking to Bart again. Emily doesn't quite know how to describe the look on his face. A mix of sadness and worry and fear. Awfully emotional. She thinks he had a similar look while talking to Roman. She wonders what he could possibly be losing if they didn't come back.

"They'll be fine," Milo says when Jochi finally retreats back to them. Emily wonders if he meant it more for her or him.

"Of course they will," Jochi replies. There's still a sad look in his eyes.

Emily feels no relief from the words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u can tell im super self-projecting onto keen by making him forget something as important as the escape rocket until something sort of related comes up and then ur like "OH FUCK. OH GOD THATS. IM AN IDIOT THATS SO IMPORTANT I GOTTA DEAL WITH THAT." keen ilu
> 
> anyway shits about to throw down


	11. Day 33

Ryley stares out the Cyclops window with an erratic heart and words ringing through his ears. He can look down and not see the bottom, he can look up to a cloudless sky. He's never really seen any stars before while on a planet - at least not real ones. There's gotta be thousands just in front of them, he thinks.

He finds it hard to truly enjoy.

He knows others are right beside him. He can still faintly hear the others on the island. He knows that none of them are in danger - at least not right now. But he can't stop feeling nervous, can't stop listening to their heartbeats just to be sure, can't stop wishing he couldn't hear something so quiet at all.

Ozzy wanted him to stay. They practically begged him to. Ryley almost listened, just because he'd never heard them sound so desperate and fearful. Just because he wasn't sure how stable Danby was, and he's scared about what Ozzy might do if something happened to them both. Ryley himself is scared of something happening to him, scared of not returning.

But he knows he'd feel worse if he stayed behind. He needs to help, because he can see the looks on everyone else's eyes when they look at him, can hear them talk about them. Jochi was hurt, he had an excuse for not showing up. Ryley was just too scared. Ryley was always running. Ryley was one of the few to live because he had been scared, had ran, hadn't bothered waiting, hadn't bothered trying to find others fast enough.

He sat in his lifepod, stayed in the shallows. He waited for the Sunbeam.

He should've checked the lifepods sooner. Maybe less would've been destroyed if he actually maintained them better. Maybe more would be alive if he did better.

So he does what Bart thinks is best, because he can't stand the thought of anyone else dying because he didn't do enough. He needs to help save who's left. And maybe his hands shake just a little bit, and maybe he feels as if he might vomit at any moment, but he feels it’ll be worth it in the end. Because it has to be worth it.

The Cyclops is supposed to be ran with three people. Ryley supposes it’s pretty convenient Bart, Avery, and the second officer know how to work it. He hopes it’ll take less time to drive. He really wants this over with already.

Beatrix and Micah stare out the window from the other side of the room. Micah still looks doubtful, still looks faintly annoyed. There’s a skip in his heartbeat. Beatrix looks more excited than any of them. Her heart is quicker than normal, too - Ryley thinks it’s for a different reason than everyone else’s.

Micah had insisted on staying at Beatrix’s side. Ryley doesn’t think Micah likes him very much, but he couldn’t help thinking of the engineer as brave. He doesn’t think Micah likes any of them very much, though. Maybe he was just scared. Ryley knows  _ he _ is.

Ryley tries to push his thoughts aside and focus on the task. Not that he really has anything to do. Really, Bart could have left alone with Keen; clearly Torgal knows what he’s doing with just about anything. He just needed any codes to the Aurora.

Ryley wanted something to do. He hears roaring and snarling and sand being dug up and metal being scraped and sneezing and coughing and he wants to ignore it all. It’s all too loud and he despises it.

Micah clears his throat, and Ryley jumps - when did he become so jumpy?

“When do you plan on explaining any of the things you’ve vaguely decided to bring up?”

Bart doesn't turn his head from the console he sat in front of. "I'm not sure you'd believe me,"

Micah scoffs. "Why are you so- I can't even describe it. You're terrible at communicating. Just answer my question."

Bart glances over his shoulder finally at that. Ryley thinks he can almost  _ hear _ Bart's emotion from the glance - which was really weird and he doesn't think he'd be able to properly explain that if someone asked.

"Alright. Where do you want me to start?"

Micah is quiet for a second. Ryley's head whirls with questions. Where  _ would _ someone start?

"What's wrong with Danby?"

Ryley had noticed the same green blisters that Danby had on Bart. Granted, Torgal's didn't glow, and seemed dull, almost blending into his skin; he didn't have as many either.

Whatever it was, Bart clearly was sick with it, too. Ryley wonders if  _ he _ has it. He couldn't mess with anything in that alien structure. It brought up 'infected individuals', didn't it?

Micah's voice leaked of concern. Danby already looked near-death, and Ozzy didn't seem to be faring much better even though they didn't  _ look _ sick. Ryley's stomach twists with nervousness.

"Something called the Kharaa," Bart says carefully, as if each word was thought strongly over before being spoken, "I don't much about it myself. It's waterborne. Gives whoever's infected with it about a month on average. It varies."

That was.. worrying. Very worrying.

"We've already been here a month."

"I know."

"None of the rest of us have glowing dots on us. I don't even have a cough."

"Like I said, it varies. It's too unpredictable to know how exactly it'll affect someone."

Ryley knows he has it. They all do, don't they? They've all touched the water.

He let Avery in the water. He helped drag a crewmember of the Sunbeam to shore. He infected Avery. He let him into the infected water, let him into his infected habitat, touched with his infected hands. 

He stares at his hands. He can hear the blood pumping through them. He can hear the quiet wheeze in his own lungs. He remembers them being coated with ash, with blood.

He does not recognize his own hands.

He crosses his arms and hides his palms.

"So we're dying?" Ryley blurts, because his brain's running on autopilot and he can't keep his mouth shut. He stares at the back of Bart's head, waiting for an answer, waiting for him to at least look at him, waiting for something.

"I can slow it," Bart answers.

"What about Danby?" Ryley never thought of death as something to be feared before, but now just the thought of any more of them dying is enough to make his heart skip a beat.

"We can deal with that when we get back,"

Ryley isn't sure they have that kind of time.

"There's a cure somewhere here, I just haven't been able to explore deep enough to find it. We'll be fine."

There's a beat of silence.

"Okay, so, everything's sick with something called the Kharaa and it's killing us. Sounds about right." Micah finally says, strangely emotionless, strangely carefree. A shared look with Beatrix was the only thing Ryley could catch. He might think he was genuinely unbothered if he couldn't hear everyone's hearts. "What about you knowing some of our names as soon as you met us?"

Bart hums with that. "The Kharra… changes the structure of the host's DNA. From what I've observed, most of those changes involve adapting to the planet."

Ryley thinks that's probably the worst thing he's heard today.

"There's a massively intelligent creature somewhere, they know how to stop the illness. They've been able to contact me since I got sick enough; they tell me what's vital to both our survival. That includes your names, and the crashing of your ships."

It got worse.

"So you have  _ superpowers _ ?" Beatrix asks, voice full of wonder, and how are those two managing to take this so well? Bart lets out a quiet sound akin to a laugh that only lasts a moment. It's the best sound Ryley's heard since Ozzy's voice four days ago.

"Not the word I'd use, but I suppose, yes,"

"Are  _ we _ going to get superpowers?" She squeaks.

"If it doesn't kill you. Don't get your hopes up." The words sound lighthearted, despite it all. Ryley lets them sink in before a lightbulb goes off in his head.

"Hypothetical question, but," Ryley starts, and Micah and Beatrix's eyes are on him and he suddenly feels a bit nervous, "Let's say someone got the Kharaa and went through those DNA changes. Would, I don't know, really good hearing be something someone could get? Hypothetically, of course."

Beatrix lets out an excited gasp, and for the first time since they met, Bart actually turns and looks at him. Actually meets his eyes. Actually  _ looks _ at him. Ryley realizes his eyes are a dark green. He tries not to linger on the realization when he feels his face start to heat up.

"Hypothetically, on a planet with fauna that use echolocation, I would imagine advanced hearing to be important."

Ryley finally allows his shoulders to loosen. Alright, maybe he was dying, and his genetics were literally being moved around and killed off, and that means he has to be further along than Danby and somehow not showing any other symptoms, and that really really confused and scared him - but at least now he  _ knew _ what was happening.

Bart turns his gaze away.

Ryley can only hope for the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> originally this chapter was going to include the entire time in the aurora but that would have ended up a bit lengthy and i wouldn't have had to time to post this today if i did that so! this sorta just ended up an accidental info dump. cool shit was SUPPOSED to happen. the planned chapter just ending up being more than 5000 words (according to my own estimation) and i DIDNT HAVE TIME TO WRITE THAT MUCH.
> 
> aurora adventure next chapter!! thank u all for sitting through and enjoying my bullshit <3


	12. Day 33 (but this time Aurora)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM. SO SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. I GOT STUCK AND I GOT LIKE 3 DIFFERENT HYPERFIXATIONS OVER THE COURSE OF THE LAST MONTH AND I JUST. COULDNT FIGURE OUT HOW TO WRITE THIS. ITS VERY OBVIOUS THAT MY SKILLS AS A WRITER FAILED ME DURING THIS IM SO SORRY BUT HOPEFULLY IM GOOD NOW THATD THIS HELL OF A CHAPTER IS OVER. PLEASE ENJOY.

It’s only after they start getting startlingly close to the front of the Aurora does Ryley start to become more than a little anxious about the noises. Yu and Keen had mentioned some leviathan, but Ryley had never actually seen one. Or heard much of a description of one. Or knew anything about it at all other than snippets of conversation he accidentally started eavesdropping on.

The almost incessant roaring he’s heard sounds closer than ever now, and he’s sure he can pick out more than one creating the noises. He can actually hear them swimming now, hears the water move around whatever it is. Leviathan definitely describes it. He wonders if it’s as long as the Reefbacks he’s seen, because it’s got to be around that size, and that can’t be anything but terrible for them.

Beatrix seems to be the only one not on edge. Ryley doesn’t really get how she can be so calm, how she can keep asking about his hearing, how she can be excited and treat this as an adventure. But he supposes it’s more welcome than the overwhelming stress the others breathe. It almost manages to reassure him.

Bart’s long since gone quiet. His silence seems to frustrate everyone else, but it mostly just scares Ryley.

They finally start to slow, and if Ryley peers downwards he can spot a dark dropoff. The sounds are louder still. They make his head hurt and his ears ring. He thinks Beatrix notices, as she trails off on whatever she was saying - Ryley feels guilty for not remembering what it was, but there was quite frankly a lot for him to be thinking about - and instead watches him with a sympathetic gaze.

“We’re here,”

Bart couldn’t have said it as loudly as Ryley thinks he did, but he winces from the sound. Of all the things that could have happened to him, why did it have to be this? He’d much rather have future visions, or like, bioluminescence. Or telepathy. Maybe that was delving too deep into superpower.

The point is, he was just really starting to hate this.

And he swears he hears his voice shake, just a little bit. Almost not there at all. He wishes he hadn't been able to catch it.

"It's safer to swim the rest of the way." Bart continues, and Ryley still can't see anything more than a stretching abyss of empty, but getting in the water near whatever's roaring sounds like a terrible idea to him.

Keen frowns. "Is it?"

"It's quiet. Nothing will hear us, and we can swim through those holes. We won't be in the water longer than 15 seconds."

Keen doesn’t reply again, Micah shares a glance with Beatrix, and Avery doesn’t look as if he could be less sure of himself. Ryley thinks it sounds logical in theory, but he still doesn’t really want to go into the water that much. He’s starting to wish he stayed on the island, despite however much he tells himself it’s a good thing he’s here at all.

He looks out the window again, not even sure what he’s looking for anymore, and his heart must stop for a second because something’s  _ there. _

Avery must have noticed him freeze, and a second later his head turns towards the ocean, too. “Holy  _ shit.” _

That catches the attention of everyone else.

Something long and snake-like skitters along the edges of the darkness, just barely visible. Ryley can’t see it’s face. He doesn’t want to see it’s face. It disappears into the darkness only a second later.

There's a beat of silence.

"Is that one of those reaper things?" Beatrix asks in a whisper to Micah. He nods his head with a grim expression.

"It'll only be a few seconds. We'll be fine." Bart states, his voice so monotone it sounds strained. He turns and makes for the ladder in the back of the room. Ryley stares after him for a moment before glancing up towards Avery.

With an almost silent sigh, Quinn follows after him, and Ryley accepts his fate.

Ryley tries to slow his heart as he stares at the hatch. Only a few seconds. It wouldn't have time to turn back around for him. They just need to get through the torn sections of the ship and then it couldn't follow them.

Only a few seconds.

He draws as much breath into his lungs as he can and tries to ignore the cold sting of the water.

The water is dark and almost grimy. Ryley can barely see what's in front of him. He can hear the crashing of waves above the water now, and the reaper cries again - why does it insist on doing that constantly? - and his head is hurting all over again. He can't help himself from turning his head towards the direction that he hears it.

He can see it again. He can see it's face this time. Four mandible, four eyes - lots of teeth - and yeah, isn't that just the worst thing he's ever seen - and then it starts swimming towards him.

Ryley had never swam faster than he had squeezing through the torn up metal frame.

He was not going to leave the safety of the Aurora without a fight anymore. Yeah, he could stay on the remains of the ship forever if it meant never seeing that thing again. Holy fuck.

He's sure he had been swimming behind everyone, but he glances behind himself anyway, some instinctive part of him insisting on keeping his eyes on the thing so deadly it was named a  _ reaper _ . He squints his eyes at a blurry figure, his lungs starting to ache just a bit.

Was that Bart?

He flicks his eyes towards the reaper and back to the figure, and it was getting closer and closer to the ship and  _ why weren't they moving? _

He thinks about Ozzy for all of a single second before his brain decides  _ 'fuck it' _ , and he swims back out.

Once he’s closer to the figure, he realizes it  _ is _ Bart. Ryley reaches out to grab his arm, and it’s immediately yanked away from him.

The rational part of Ryley wants to back away, or try to talk to him, or anything at all, but he knows that leviathan is too close and he knows it’s dangerous and the glossy look in Bart’s eyes  _ scares _ him, so he ignores it and reaches for him again. Only a few seconds. Maybe Bart would get pissed at him, but at least they’d both be alive.

He pulls him along with him, trying his best to swim with one hand and empty lungs and a roar from something he could hear from the island being meters away from him now and  _ god _ does that make him think he might go deaf right then and there.

He’s sure he feels a tooth graze his foot as he pushes Bart ahead of him, and for a second he’s almost certain he’s going to die, but then he pulls himself through the metal and the ship shakes from around him and the creaking of metal disorientates him for a moment. Then he sees Bart, who still doesn’t look like he knows where he is, who still looks like he can’t draw in breath rather than purposefully holding it, and propels himself towards him. He grabs his arm again as he swims the few meters to the surface.

He wonders if resurfacing will ever start to feel normal. It still feels the same as the first time he felt he was drowning, the same as the first time his lungs ached and his eyes stung and his vision darkened. It always was a terrible, scary feeling - he didn’t even particularly feeling like he was drowning this time. The relief that fills him as he finally draws air was the same.

Bart’s still trying to escape the grip he has on his arm - he seems exhausted, too, barely struggling that much at all, barely moving. Ryley thinks he might just sink back down if he weren’t pulling him along. There’s a stip of land - well, scorched metal - and Ryley can just manage to stand.

Barely a second later, there’s a hand on his shoulder, and Bart’s weight fades a bit from his arm. He looks up to Avery at Bart’s side, and Keen looking at him with a mixed expression that Ryley doesn’t really want to think too much about right now.

“The hell happened?” Snaps a voice a bit further away, and Ryley realizes it’s Micah. Despite the tone, Ryley can see the worry on his face, the way he paces back and forth. Ryley isn’t sure what happened. He glances back to Bart, who still seems to be struggling to stand, who still sounds as if he’s barely breathing, and a deep concern roots itself.

As soon as Ryley opens his mouth to respond, the air seems to snap, and suddenly Bart’s reacting again. He pushes himself away from Avery, stumbles away from them all, and Ryley can hear him wheezing.

“Bart?” Keen tentatively calls, and - when did he start calling anyone by their first names, let alone Bart? - he doesn’t reply. Instead, he rips his helmet off and throws it down. “What are you doing?”

“Not again,” Bart whispers, and Ryley knows he’s the only one to hear it.

“Bart, put your mask back on, you’ll get sick.” Keen calls out again.

Bart still doesn’t answer. He runs his hands through his hair, and Ryley notices he’s shaking.

“Something’s wrong.” Ryley states. He knows something’s wrong. He doesn’t know exactly what’s wrong, but something is clearly very wrong. “He’s been acting weird since we saw the reaper in the Cyclops.”

Bart’s collapsed on the ground, and he’s hiding his head in his arms, and Ryley can hear a crinkling of paper from his hands. He wants to walk over to him and help. He has no idea how. He’s afraid of making it worse.

And then Avery takes off his mask as well, and does exactly what Ryley wishes he could.

Keen watches them silently.

Ryley can hear it all.

Bart’s heartbeat is eccentric, his chest moves as if he’s breathing too fast and not at all at the same time. He clutches at the piece of paper in his hands as if it’s the only thing keeping him alive. Maybe it had been at one point.

Avery crouches in front of him.

“Is he okay?” Beatrix asks, and Ryley realizes she’s standing fairly close to him. He’s not sure who exactly she’s asking. He doesn’t have the answer anyways.

“He will be.” Keen says back quietly.

You’re okay, Avery is saying to him, just breathe. And he does. Slowly.

And finally, eventually, Bart meets his eyes. And he says, “Sorry,”

“You’ve done nothing wrong.” Avery replies back easily, as if he’s rehearsed the words a thousand times.

There’s a beat of silence, where Ryley can hear their heartbeats return to normal, where the rumbling of the ship seems a bit more distant if Ryley really tries to ignore them, where everything feels just a little bit more normal than it has in weeks.

“What just happened?” Beatrix asks, her voice cautious, as if she’s not sure she should ask at all. Bart shrugs.

“Dunno. It uh, just happens sometimes and then goes away. Not- not usually a very big problem unless it starts underwater.”

“You looked like you might have been dying,” Beatrix adds, slightly more concern in her voice than the last time.

“Felt like it.” He replies back, a bit shakily.

Avery stares at him for a moment, and slowly blinks. “I would guess it was a panic attack. This has happened before?”

“There's- there's a name for it?” Bart asks, clear confusion written on his face.

Avery sighs quietly, but he doesn’t look even remotely annoyed or upset in any way. “How long have you been having these?”

Bart frowns. “Uh.. sometime after- a while. I-I assumed it was something from the Kharaa.”

“I would bet it has nothing to do with the Kharaa.”

“Oh.”

There’s another beat of silence.

Beatrix clears her throat. “We.. we all need a lot of therapy. We’re gonna need so much therapy.” She murmurs. Micah huffs a short quiet laugh.

Avery hands Bart back the helmet he had thrown, readjusting his own. "No point in getting this far to die from radiation poisoning,"

"..Yeah. Um. Thanks." Bart murmurs in reply.

"Don't mention it," Avery answers back. When he stands back up, he offers a hand to Bart. The other takes it after a barely noticeable hesitation.

Bart lets out a long breath, still somewhat shaky on his feet.

A wave crashes a bit harshly against Ryley's legs, and he realizes most of them are still standing in the water. He's sure nothing would get this close to land, but he's just worried enough about the alarmingly large amount of teeth everything on this planet has to begin stepping higher up.

"Alright, well, now that that's over with. Let's not waste more time."

Micah stares at Bart a bit incredulously. "You're really nonchalant about nearly drowning."

Bart shrugs, as he continues up the strip of metal, "You've said I've been here ten years, didn't you? I've nearly drowned hundreds of times."

Ryley hears Keen let out a quiet sigh at that, his concern strangely out of character from what Ryley knew of him. Most of Alterra didn't seem particularly emotional. Or maybe  _ caring _ would be a better way to describe it.

Ryley had barely seen anything other than annoyance or nothing at all from the second officer. Ryley always found him impossible to read. Maybe the crash affected him more than he realized.

Then again, wouldn't it affect anyone? How does something like that happen to someone and not change them? 

Ryley eyes Bart a bit more closely, now that he's really thinking about it.

How did it affect  _ him? _

 

* * *

 

It was a while before they found a viable entrance through the rest of the wreck. Fire and falling debris seemed to greet every turn, and a fallen piece of rubble valued as a bridge to a higher streak of land. Not that Ryley enjoyed walking across the creaky rusted metal. Knowing that he'd fall into water if he were to lose his balance didn't calm him in the slightest.

He wonders if he should tell Ozzy about any of this at all. They'd undoubtedly end up pissed off or understandably terrified of ever allowing him out of their sight again. Ryley suddenly feels a strong fondness thinking of his friend. He finds himself anxious to see them again.

Once there's a ceiling above him and walls around him, Ryley almost wishes that they were outside still. Flames still ravaged the inside, and the smoke was strong enough it was practically fog at the overhanging metal. A distinct smell of burnt plastic was almost overbearing.

Ryley could faintly see unpowered charred signs still hung up on the wall, but he couldn't quite make out what it was supposed to say. Not that it mattered. Most of the paths were on fire, blocked by debris, or underwater.

Keen seemed to remember his way around easily enough, despite the destruction. They just needed to make it to the reactor core. Everything else didn't matter. Even if Ryley felt sad as he looked around the hallways, felt a bit too many resurfacing memories as they reached the PRAWN bay, none of it mattered.

It was all gone anyways. Barely anything could even be considered scrap metal they could repurpose, let alone salvageable.

Beatrix had brought a scanner with her, and made to gain access to the PRAWN blueprints. She seemed rather resourceful to him. Ryley hadn't thought about gaining anything from this trip at all. He just wanted to be helpful. And he kind of wanted to be around Bart. Mostly wanted to be helpful.

Micah announced that they could likely get deeper into the ship by swimming through the cables. Dangerous, based on a guess, something that could easily get several or all of them killed - so of course everyone else agreed. Ryley didn't bother voicing his worries. It wasn't as if they had found any other option.

Bart insisted on destroying the radiation levels. And really, if the planet all started dying, not only would Ryley feel  _ really really _ guilty about more piled on deaths, but if all the animals and plants died before they escaped then they'd all die, too. So Bart had a great and logical standpoint.

Ryley was probably just overly nervous. Maybe the Aurora just drudged up terrible memories that made him hesitant.

He's not the last in the water this time, and he doesn't know if that makes him feel any better or worse. Being in the water at all is what makes him terribly anxious. Sparks of electricity flying off from various spots with little room to avoid them only really makes him feel worse. Hopefully they find another way out. He doesn't want to swim through this again at all.

Thankfully they're only surrounded by cables and wires for a few moments before they find an opening. Micah looks proud of himself for the idea, now that he's proven right. Or maybe he's proud of the compliment it earned from Keen. Keen  _ compliments _ people now. Ryley doesn't know if he should be weirded out by the fact or happy of the pleasant change.

The plan seems to be back on its feet, and everything feels less life-or-death, at the very least. It's the bare minimum he could ask for, but it does a pretty good job at calming everyone down, it seems. Ryley could only hope the rest of Bart's plans went well.

They come across a corridor Ryley actually recognizes. Though, this part of the ship seemed more intact altogether. And why wouldn't he recognize the cafeteria?

He thinks of the many times he's walked in through the doorway, followed the same steps through the hallway. Thinks of the many times he'd awoke early or stay late just to talk with Ozzy for a few extra minutes, when everyone else was gone. Thinks of the many times Danby had started showing up with him.

He tries to remember the last thing they talked about together before the crash. Tries to remember if Danby was there, tries to remember if he even had the chance to talk to either of them.

He can't quite remember.

His head hurts.

He tries hard to ignore the clear heat of the numerous fires, tries hard to ignore the deep rumbling that sounds so  _ off _ and worrying, and tries hard to ignore the dull ache that follows the blurry fuzziness of those few hours before and after.

He comes to a rigid halt, and his blood runs cold.

Ryley's sure he had only paused for a moment before Keen is standing beside him. Ryley wouldn't know what to say to him even if he wanted to say something.  _ Should _ he say something?

"Well that's… that's something I didn't want to see." Keen murmurs.

Inside the cafeteria lays two charred shapes, a terrible smell, and an awful lot of what could only be assumed as dried blood.

There were  _ bodies. _

But maybe he should have expected that. They'd been in space for two years, the lifepods had been looked at before - he knew there weren't enough for everyone. He never thought they'd have to use them at all. But there's no scenario where everyone got to live.

But he didn't think about it.

He certainly never thought he'd see bodies. Never thought he'd see something that he knows has to be human so distorted it was almost beyond recognition.

He remembers the Sunbeam, remembers the island. Remembers so much blood, so much  _ fear _ \- remembers  _ that _ body. He's not sure if watching someone die or seeing these burned bodies were worse.

He knew these people, didn't he? He can't even tell who they were. But he's certain he's had to have talked to everyone on the Aurora at least  _ once _ . And now he's looking at two of their corpses.

He feels sick so suddenly that he has to force himself to walk away, because the radiation levels are increasing and he is  _ not _ taking off his helmet. He's never had to try so hard to not vomit in his life.

It's unbearably silent for a few moments, and Ryley's certain everyone else everyone else knows. The calm air snapped away. Ryley feels dreadful of whatever's deeper into the ship.

"There's going to be more. If anyone wants to turn around, now's the time." Bart announces, a bit too sure of himself that Ryley thinks he might just agree to that.

But then he remembers why he asked to go here to begin with, and nobody else makes any moves to leave, and he says nothing. He tries to silently reassure himself.

Bart shakes his head, subtly enough that Ryley almost doesn't notice. He seems so much more on edge than usual. Ryley has a terrible feeling in his gut. Maybe he  _ should _ turn around.

Everyone else treks on, and when Ryley falls to the back of the group, Avery pauses to look back at him.  Ryley sighs, and pushes himself off the wall he was leaning in to. He follows the group, feeling more nervous than ever.

The hallway only continues for a few more rooms, and maybe usually it lasted longer, but debris filled an awful lot of entrances and black smoke stuck to the ceiling like fog, and Ryley didn’t really care about checking any of the rooms. Most of them were locked anyway. If Keen somehow knew the codes, he didn’t offer them.

Ryley is almost certain that the rooms would have more bodies. Maybe they wouldn’t. But he doesn’t know how many got anywhere near the lifepods - it’s not like there was anything more than a minute before the ship crashed. How could anyone have had that much of a chance?

He doesn’t want to be right. So he chooses to simply ignore the locked doors.

Keen pauses next to one of them though, towards the end of the hallway. There’s a blocked entrance, one just untouched by flames and just little enough that they could push through - and Keen pauses by a door, and stares.

Ryley can’t quite remember who’s suite it was. He tries a bit too hard to remember, and the thought doesn’t lead anywhere. He’s not even sure if he should remember, or if it would be obvious he wouldn’t remember. He feels too guilty to ask.

Another second passes, and Keen snaps out of his trance. He steps forward and inputs a code into the keypad - and steps into the room when the door slides open. The room seems oddly small, compared to the ones he could remember. Although, usually the rooms are shared by dozens of people, and could probably also be called small all things considered. Ryley doesn’t think the room looks like it was shared - he thinks it had to of been for someone important.

Maybe that’s why Keen knew the code. Maybe it was his.

Then Ryley thinks back to what he’s seen and heard of Keen’s interactions with  _ Khasar _ \- and thinks maybe it was the emissary's quarters.

Keen exists the room hastily, and Ryley thinks he looks… like he’s trying awfully hard to keep his emotions in check. He shakes his head as if it would clear his thoughts.

Bart calls for them, and the moment ends. Ryley looks back into the room for just a second, and spots a poster of the Aurora. It looks so nice in the picture, so cleanly edited, the beauty Ryley had pictured before he saw it in person. Before they launched.

Before they reached this system. Before they reached this planet.

An odd nostalgia - or maybe it was just plain old sadness - threatens to overcome him.

He turns his head away and follows. He always follows.

 

* * *

They walk on metal, and Ryley can smell it burning. He can hear sparks and creaking and snapping. Every step makes him nervous that they’ll fall straight through the floor. Every step makes him wonder if he should have gone back. Every step makes him think of Ozzy.

Every step makes him think.

When they finally reach a room that opens up, much larger than the others, Ryley feels nothing but dread and a heavy heart.

For a moment they all simply look around at the mess. Not that it was really that much worse than the rest of the ship. Ryley still felt -  _ something _ \- staring around at it. He can’t really remember going to this part of the ship very much, but the destruction seems worse here.

He wonders if maybe the ship was hit here. He thinks it had to have been for it to look like this.

The catwalk was mostly underwater and snapped - probably too damaged to walk on even if it were above water. A lot of it was still coated in flames. Maybe they should try to deal with that.

Well, after they deal with the radiation, anyways.

“Now what?” Beatrix asked, turning to Bart, but the question didn’t seem to be particularly towards him. He answered regardless.

“See those giant holes in the drive core? Fix them. That’s what we do.”

Micah hummed. “Do you know that from experience or your future vision?”

Bart shrugs. “I’d say the visions are experience. They’ve never been wrong before.”

“That’s not how experience works.” Micah replies, and Bart doesn’t respond again. “So this is an idea because of your weirdly realistic feeling dreams that coincidentally happened to be similar to real life things?”

“In two minutes you’ll see I was right, you know,”

“We might,” Micah answers - he doesn’t sound confident at all. Ryley wants to stand up fro Bart again, but a nagging thought - what if Bart’s wrong? - keeps him silent. Bart hasn’t been wrong  _ before. _ Ryley knows he probably  _ shouldn’t _ doubt him. But he can’t help it. If this goes wrong, if Bart was wrong, who knows what could happen to them? It was too dangerous for him to be wrong.

Bart hands him a repair tool. Ryley’s used one countless times before. He was systems maintenance.

It feels strange in his hand now. It feels heavy. It feels like he’s making a terrible mistake.

There’s only four repair tools. Micah and Keen are beside him. Bart’s already in the water.

Ryley’s gut twists. The ship shakes and rumbles and it sounds awfully loud to him. Nobody else flinches or acts like they heard anything at all. Maybe he was just paranoid.

He sets to work on the first one he sees, a few feet away, still above water.

There’s biters in the water. Ryley tries to ignore them. They seem to be mostly rushing towards Micah - probably following the blood since he’s  _ slaughtering _ them all with his knife. Ryley would usually just knock them off, or hide in his Seamoth and turn the other way if he ever found one.

It doesn’t take terribly long to mend the patches. Ryley couldn’t be happier to finally be leaving the ship. The islands felt like the safest place he could be, and the Aurora felt like the scariest place he could be. Not that he was going to enjoy swimming next to the reapers again. But as long as it meant he never had to see one again, he guesses it won’t be too bad.

Keen’s PDA tells them the radiation levels are contained. But of course Bart was right, why wouldn’t he be?

Micah just rolls his eyes.

Ryley smiles and tries to calm the worry that edged into his heart.

 

* * *

They walk back the way they came, making careful steps to avoid seeing any Aurora crew again. He wasn’t exactly sure if it bothered Bart too much - he knew they would see them for who knows how long - but felt like he owed him something just for making sure they didn’t have to.

The ship shook less now, but only by a barely noticeable amount. It rumbled just as loudly. Ryley ignored it.

“You’re not gonna freak out again when we go out there, right?” Micah asks, as they walk past the cafeteria.  _ Ozzy’s _ cafeteria, Ryley’s brain supplies. He tries not to dwell on it.

“It’s not like I was expecting that to happen. I don’t know.” Bart answers, a bit quietly.

“Alright, well, try not to die, if you can. I’d prefer it if nobody gets eaten by one of those things.”

Bart huffs out a quiet laugh, but it sounds forced.

Ryley takes another step, and something crashes down from behind him. It’s loud and his ears ring and heat is suddenly pushed towards him and it stings his skin right through the suit.

The ship rumbles again.

It sounds different this time. Louder than before.

It worried him before. It worries him a lot more now.

“Maybe we should, uh - hurry up a little?” Beatrix asks nervously. Bart murmurs an agreement. Ryley shuffles after the group, a bit closer than he had been.

“Did you know that was going to happen?” Avery asks after a few long moments. Bart sighs.

“I don’t know everything that’s going to happen,”

“We could’ve been crushed!” Avery snaps back.

“And what could I have done to stop that if I didn’t know it was going to happen?”

“What if one of us died? How much do you know? What if something you see is wrong?”

“None of it’s been wrong. And I’ve only seen a few things. The Aurora and Sunbeam crashing, how to stop the radiation, and a way to get us off this planet are the only things I know about.” Bart says back, sounding irritated.

“You knew Danby’s name! You knew Ryley and Avery’s names, too!” Beatrix cuts in.

“I knew that because of logs I heard as the ships crashed.”

“You still  _ knew.” _

Bart doesn’t reply.

“Not just the main point of your dreams, what you actually know from them. How long do they last? Did you know anything that we would say to you?” Beatrix pushes.

“Why do you care so much about it? I already answered.” Bart replies, and he’s fidgeting with his hands now, and Ryley wishes they’d all just stop talking about it.

“You lied, first off. Secondly, you have  _ future vision! _ Why would I  _ not _ want to know more? You have superpowers and you expect us to not think that’s the coolest thing to ever happen to anyone?”

“It’s not a superpower-”

“Please explain to me how this is not a superpower.”

Bart sighs again. "I don't know. It's just not a power. It's bigger than that."

Beatrix shakes her head. "If you say-"

Another beam collapses before she can finish her sentence. It falls right in front of them, kicking up ash and flames and shards of metal and Ryley nearly screams. All he really did was freeze and stare. Beatrix and Micah take a few steps back. Bart doesn't move at all, despite the beam falling barely a meter away from him.

"This is why I said we should hurry!" Beatrix snaps, sounding more scared than angry. She takes another step back. The floor creaks from underneath her. Ryley's heart thuds in his chest.

"Beatrix-" He calls out, tries to warn, tries to help, he tries tries tries. She stares at him for a second, confused, terrified -

The floor creaks again and buckles.

Ryley watches, too slow to react, mortified, as she screeches and plummets.

"Beatrix!" Micah yells, and he rushes towards her, all too late, and crouches near the broken metal, still shaking and unstable and they need to get out of here they need to leave-

"Micah, get back! It's dangerous!" Keen calls. Bart freezes up and stares at him. Ryley doesn't have time to think about why.

"We need to go after her!" Micah snaps back.

"We'll all be killed if we stay here!"

_ "I'm not leaving without her!" _

Ryley doesn't have the chance to warn him. The ground collapses again. Heat from beneath it coats the area, burning Ryley. He can barely breathe any more. There's too much smoke it's too hot-

He can see Micah still, hanging onto a piece of scrap. He could reach him. He was within arms reach. He can save him!

Ryley rushes forward, barely thinking at all. He needs to save someone. He can't let more people die on his watch. He needs to do something.

Avery and Keen call after him. Tell him to stop. He doesn't listen. Footsteps follow him, and then Avery's grabbing his arm.

"Ryley, no." Avery says to him, almost pleading, and there's an unmistakable fear in his voice. Ryley almost listens.

Another beam falls, and Ryley shields his face, despite the helmet and despite it doing nothing to help at all. When he averts his eyes up again, fire and metal covers the path. He can't see Keen or Bart.

"Ryley! Avery! Are you alright?" Comes a voice from beyond the flickering flames.

"We're fine!" Avery calls back. "What do we do now? We're stuck!"

"There's more than one way out! Find another exit, follow the paths and signs!"

Ryley listens to the conversation for a second longer, before trying to listen to the ground again. He chooses his footsteps carefully as he approaches the hole in the ground.

He peers down at the thin bent piece of metal Micah has a hold of. His stomach churns as he looks down at the flames below. He reaches down a hand.

Micah just stares at him. There's an unreadable look in his eyes.

"What are you doing? Grab my hand. We can still get out of here." Ryley croaked. Was his hand shaking? He thinks he's shaking.

"You're going to abandon Bea." Micah asked, but it sounded more like a statement. He still does not reach up.

Ryley blinks away smoke. The heat burns his eyes, he just wants to turn away and leave. He can't. He looks around desperately before settling his gaze back on Micah.

"I know you're upset, but- what could I do for her now?"

"She could still be alive! We have to look!" Micah howled, and he glares at Ryley now. There's a fire in his eyes that mimic the surroundings.

"Just give me your hand." Ryley pleads. His ears and head hurts from concentrating on the noises, trying to guess if he's next to fall or not.

Micah's eyes gaze straight through him. Ryley hasn't seen such a look of hatred.

The sight haunts him.

"No." Micah answers, his voice booming and as silent as a whisper all at once.

Ryley reaches his hand down as far as he can, tries swiping for Micah's hand, desperation fueling him on. He can't quite reach him, no matter how hard he tries.

Micah looks down, at the drop and the fire. He looks back up at Ryley. "I'm not leaving her behind. I'm not you."

The words cut deep, and Ryley can't find a response.

Micah's grip falters.

Ryley watches as he lets go of the metal and falls. He sees him get engulfed in flames, hears his body hit the ground. Hears the snap of bones and melting skin. Hears the heartbeat stop.

Ryley stares into the fire, petrified.

There's an arm on his shoulder again.

"We need to get out of here, Ryley."

He lets Avery pull him up and lead him away. He's barely paying attention to any of it, walking forward just because of the weight pulling him onward. His head is going a million miles an hour. He replays mistake after mistake in his mind.

More falls and dislodged itself as they walk. Ryley only notices because of how loud it is. How closely some of them come to hitting them.

He can faintly hear Avery's voice. He thinks he's been talking the entire time. He thinks There's probably a reason why. But he can't remember, can't concentrate, simply wondering of all the other things he could have done to stop this.

Every step scares him. He keeps thinking the floor will open up and swallow him. A quiet voice in the back of his head tells him he'd deserve it.

There's a hand in his own that Ryley can't quite feel.

Words being said to him that he can't quite hear.

He's stuck in his memories. Stuck in his head.

He barely notices when they exit out into an open sky. It's dark. There's clouds that cover the moon. It's cold.

A stark contrast to inside the walls.

He digs his finger tips hard into the palm of his hand. If it weren't for the gloves, Ryley's sure he'd have made himself start bleeding by now. He'd have made everyone worried. He feels even lower at the thought.

Feels even lower at the thought of literal blood on his hands.

It had been there before.

He really wants to just lay down and sob.

Avery calls something out from beside him. Ryley's ears still ring - he can't make out the words. He thinks it was a name.

There's a shape in front of him. It reaches out, touches his shoulder. Ryley doesn't know if he welcomes or hates it.

They keep walking. Water hits his legs. The water was dangerous.

The fire was dangerous.

They can't be in the water. Especially not at night.

Two people are beside him, guiding him.

Ryley can hear the fish. The sharks, the stalkers, the peepers, the hoverfish - can hear them growl and cry and swim and eat. He can hear the leviathans. Hears them do the same.

He's able to breathe again, moments later. The cold water, cold air, helps him think a bit clearer. His head still spins regardless.

But he looks and Avery and recognizes him now.

Recognizes Keen.

Recognizes Bart.

He remembers Beatrix asking about his hearing. He hadn't listened to her. Hadn't answered her.

He feels alarmingly guilty now for ignoring her.

He flicks his gaze over to Bart. He looks shaken, miserable - and knowing.

"This wasn't your fault," Bart tells him softly, as if reading his thoughts, "There's nothing we could have done."

The words are final.

They hang brokenly as Ryley struggles to process them.

He sits down on the floor.

Keen walks away, towards Bart. The Cyclops starts moving, slowly, quietly.

Avery doesn't leave his side. Avery stays beside him and continues murmuring words he can barely understand.

Ryley just keeps thinking back to Micah's words, over and over. He had a point, didn't he? How many people died because Ryley didn't do enough? Didn't wait longer? Didn't try to help them?

There were so many on the Aurora, on the Sunbeam. Ryley didn't check the lifepods soon enough. Didn't wait for someone to join him in it. Didn't let someone else in it. Didn't warn the Sunbeam.

He didn't warn Beatrix fast enough. Didn't warn Micah fast enough. Didn't reach them fast enough.

"This is my fault." He says it in a shaky whisper. More to himself than to Avery or anyone else.

"You did your best. That's good enough." Avery replies, a warmth in it that Ryley didn't expect. That he's not sure he deserves to hear.

It's all he has to cling to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im never looking at this chapter again it's caused me so much pain and suffering


	13. Day 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO WRITE HERE ALL MY JOKES SOUND NARCISSISTIC OR MAKE ME LOOK LIKE I HATE MYSELF SO I GUESS JUST LIKE. ENJOY THE SUPER SAD SUPER FORESHADOWING CHAPTER.

The trip back to the island was eerily silent and somehow deafeningly loud at the same time. Everything was said in whispers, everything nearly inaudible. Ryley heard each word as if they were spoken directly into his ear.

It’s mostly Avery talking. Going on and on, calm and reassuring and trying really hard. Keen speaks mostly to Bart, one word responses and comments, strangely emotionless and robotic. Bart somehow has even less energy - barely anything at all - Ryley could almost believe he hadn’t said anything at all since they boarded the ship.

Ryley doesn’t think _he’s_ really said much since they boarded the ship.

He feels like he might just break down crying if he says too much, or he might as well never stop talking with the amount of guilt trapped in his chest. He feels too much to want to say anything. What could he even say? Were there even words that could describe how he felt? What could anyone say in a situation like this?

Maybe other people would know better to not allow things like this to happen. He’s certainly never heard of anything remotely like this happening to someone before.

Maybe he’s being a little too harsh on himself.

He doesn’t know anymore. He just feels horrible. And really tired.

 

* * *

 

Ryley can hear when they finally slow to a stop. He wishes he hadn’t. He had just been on the verge of finding it cool, or even just plain useful, he had thought it was something nice - now he just wishes it would go away.

He kinda just wants to stay and lay on the floor forever, because he does _not_ want to face everyone back at the habitat now. The thought of looking any of them in the eyes feels terribly bittersweet. He does want to see Ozzy and Danby again. But then he’d have to tell them about what happened and what he did and then what if they hate him?

What if everyone hates him? What if everyone blames him?

A much quieter part of his brain is asking, what if they blame Bart? What if they no longer trust the one person who knows how to help them?

Ryley finds himself wishing he did something different once again, because someone has to tell the others about what happened, and someone has to talk about his now-somehow-really-good hearing, and someone has to tell everyone that Ryley heard it all before it happened and didn’t think about it long or hard enough to think it would be a problem worth mentioning and didn’t warn Beatrix or Micah fast enough and didn’t warn Avery fast enough and didn’t check the lifepods fast enough and didn’t swim fast enough and didn’t find any signals fast enough and he never ever did enough and how can he tell _anyone any_ of that?

But Bart turns the Cyclops engine off, and Keen stares anxiously at the beach, and Avery’s eyes dart between the three of them like he’s waiting for someone else to make a decision for him.

Ryley reluctantly stands. Bart walks past him without a word. Ryley’s heart drops.

Avery asks if he’s okay again, and Ryley knows there’s a truthful answer stored somewhere in his chest, but he doesn’t really want to talk about it, so he mumbles an answer. An answer that was far from the truth. An answer he’d probably regret later.

An answer to a question that he’d be asked again, without a doubt; an answer he’d probably change before long.

An answer that he can see Avery doesn’t believe.

Ryley turns his head back to Bart, just because he knows he won’t be staring, and he doesn’t want to look at Avery anymore. Doesn’t want to see the worry.

There’s a storage locker open, practically empty, and the Seamoth dock hatch is open and Ryley realizes Bart’s moving the items into the Seamoth’s storage. Panic surges through him.

He wants to say something, but his throat hurts, and he’s afraid if he starts saying anything he’ll start crying.

Thank god for Keen.

“Where are you going?”

Bart glances up, and Ryley realizes how shaken he still looks. He wonders if _he_ looks that bad. Bart shrugs.

“Picking something up in the reef. I’ll be back in an hour.”

“Isn’t it dangerous to explore at night on your own?”

Bart shrugs again. “I’ve been alright over the last couple years. I think I’ll live.”

Then he climbs into the Seamoth, and disappears.

The three of them stare in silence for a moment, before Keen sighs, and Ryley sees him roll his eyes. He glances back at Avery and Ryley, and makes a gesture to follow him. A strong anxiety pushes through Ryley once again.

He shakes his head to try to clear his thoughts, and hopes the cool water will help calm him down more. Or maybe the walk back to the center of the island. Or the wind or the birds or anything really. He just hates the nerves jumping through him, and everything was already about to descend into a living hell, so being even a little less nervous would make him feel a lot better.

Well. He’s out of choices now.

He forces his shaky legs to move, and stumbles after Keen.

 

* * *

 

Ryley had wondered if everyone would be asleep, seeing how late it was. He’s almost upset to hear voices upon reaching the base. Now they have to face them. Ryley finds himself wishing Bart was there.

Keen sighs, quietly, and Ryley can almost see the shift of tone. Watches him put walls up and wear a stoic expression. A burst a guilt floods Ryley - a voice telling him he's caused this. But he doesn't have much time to wallow in his misery before Keen's walking forward again, and opens the hatch. to the base. Ryley only follows once Avery starts moving away as well.

Some robotic system announces their return. It mispronounces Ryley's name. The lack of three names make his heart feel even heavier than previously.

Ryley can hear the voices stop, hears the hurried footsteps. Jochi is the first one he sees - Yu and Berkeley follow close behind.

"That took a lot less time than you said it would," Yu starts, but her relieved voice quickly falters. "Where's Beatrix and Micah?"

Ryley winced, but of course they noticed instantly. Why wouldn't they?

"There were… complications as we were on the Aurora. They didn't make it out." Keen cringes, his voice a bit hoarse. Yu stares.

"What? What do you mean complications? What happened?"

"The floor caved in. We couldn't reach them." Keen shrugs, an obviously desperate act to keep his composure.

"What about Bart?" Jochi cuts in, "Where is he?" His voice shakes a bit at the end of the question. Ryley can feel his worry from the sound of his heart, thumping wildly.

"He's fine. I don't know what he's up to, but he said he'll return in an hour." Jochi's shoulders sag a bit in relief with the words.

"Okay. Bart's good. Are you sure about Micah and Bea? If the floor caved in, how could you be sure?" Berkeley asks, his voice quiet.

Ryley vividly remembers Micah hanging from the scrap metal. Remembers the smoke and his burning lungs and the mix of terror and resignation in his eyes.

"There was a giant drop. There was fire at the bottom." Ryley chokes out. He feels eyes on him. His own see nothing but the ghost of Micah's.

"They're gone."

Silence follows Ryley's words.

Then Keen shakes his head and lets out a long sigh.

"We have work to do in the morning. Get some sleep."

Ryley gladly listens.

 

* * *

 

 When Ryley wakes up, several hours later, he learns Bart still had yet to return.

He picks anxiously through some potato-like thing Ozzy offered him. He doesn't feel that hungry. Just nauseous.

A day passes, and Bart still doesn't return.

Yu and Khasar leave to gather parts for a PRAWN suit.

Ryley can't shake the panic the screams they won't return. Can't stop his hands from shaking. Barely manages to convince himself he's even still breathing. Ozzy sits next to him the entire time, talking about old memories that Ryley's sure he's supposed to also remember. The words are fuzzy. He's thankful they're talking at all.

Avery's there, too. Ryley faintly remembers the feeling of his hand, when they were leaving the Aurora. He's too nervous to ask for him to do it again. The reminder that he's alive is good enough.

Ryley only manages to shake the terror once Yu and Khasar return. Unharmed. With packs full of titanium and copper and silver.

Ryley doesn't sleep that night. Neither does Ozzy. He doesn't think any of them really do much anymore.

He's restless and his hand twitches and he needs to do something before his mind spirals so he goes outside. Ozzy doesn't follow. They still won't leave Danby's side for more than a second. Won't leave the room if they don't have to. Ryley's starting to not want to leave the two of them, either - but he couldn't stand sitting around waiting for something to happen any longer.

He can't bare to stare at the Aurora. Instead, he listens to all he possibly can. Tries hard to tell each sound apart from one another. Tries hard to listen for a Seamoth. Tries really hard to hear Bart.

He can't tell what's a fish or a rock, can't tell what's groaning or what's snapping it's teeth. If he can hear Bart at all, he wouldn't even know it. It's all mashed together and too much at once, too loud.

He scurries back inside. The walls block the noises a little. Although, they also make it all too easy to hear conversations and heartbeats and wheezing and coughing and _dying-_

He thinks of Micah and Beatrix again. Wonders if they'd just have died to the sickness - Bart said it had a name, what did he call it? - wonders if they're all doomed even if Bart managed to survive this long. What if he was just a stray from the norm? How long does Danby really have? How long do any of them have?

Why isn't Bart coming back and helping.

Ryley wishes he could block out all his thoughts just for a day. Wishes he could just help out a bit. But he had barely managed to make a small base out in the kelp forest on his own, barely could swim and walk. What is he supposed to do? He thought Bart would help them, but Bart keeps _leaving_.

Ryley can hear Danby wheezing. He can hear Ozzy's quiet sniffles.

He can hear Keen and Yu talking. Talking about Micah and Beatrix and Bart.

"He knew our names, knew Danby was sick, and knew where to find us. He knew how to fix the radiation leak. Hell, he knew about our ships crashing, apparently, and survived a disease that's supposed to kill you in two weeks for a good, what, nine years? Why wouldn't he know about the floor? Why wouldn't he warn them?"

"He didn't know," Keen replies. "How could he know everything?"

"He was acting weird. You said so. He _knew_ that was going to happen, I bet. Maybe that's why he disappeared. Maybe he feels guilty for letting two people die."

"He's trying to help us! And even if he did know, what if he couldn't stop it?" Khasar snaps, joining the conversation seemingly uninvited.

Ryley can hear the scoff Yu lets out. "Why wouldn't he even try to stop it? Why not take a different route, or tell them beforehand, or just not let them go?"

"He's doing the right thing. He has to be." Is Jochi's reply.

Ryley wonders how much of Yu's concerns are just matterless paranoia. Wonders how much of her thoughts hold solid ground.

Bart wouldn't have let bad things happen if he thought he could prevent it, right? Ryley's heard some of the old PDA entries he wrote, and he seemed to care about solving even simple problems. He seemed to hate conflict. Why would he let that happen? Why would he let them suffer?

He didn't know they would fall. Ryley repeats the words to himself over and over, desperate to believe Bart's just gotten lost someone or sidetracked or something. Desperate to believe he hasn't left because he's afraid to face them. Desperate to believe they can be saved still.

He walks back into Ozzy and Danny's room. Sits on the edge of the bed.

Ozzy lays their head on his shoulder.

"What's going to happen to us, you think?" Ozzy murmurs, his voice croaky.

Infected. Ozzy's infected. Ryley can see the green blisters. Can hear the wheezing. They're almost as bad as Danby. Ryley finds himself imagining the two of them not making it out. Finds himself terrified of the possibility.

Ryley doesn't know what answer. The only one his brain is fixated on is not one he wants to give.

"We'll be fine. Before long, we'll be off this planet, and going home."

Ozzy laughs. "You're just saying that to not make me freak out."

"What? No! I'm being serious! We all live happily ever after, build our own houses, abandon Alterra, can't you see it?"

"Only if I'm allowed to adopt three cats will I agree to abandoning our lives to build houses in the middle of nowhere."

"Ozzy, we will let you adopt as many cats as you want if we forcibly remove you from any social status."

Ozzy laughs again, and Ryley can throw his thoughts to the back of his head and focus on it. Focus on the fact that he's alive, and Ozzy's alive, and Danby's alive.

Ozzy falls asleep against his shoulder. Danby's asleep right next to them.

Ryley isn't tired.

He just listens to their breathing. As long as they keep breathing, he can convince himself they'll be okay.

 

* * *

 

 The next day, Ryley has to fight his nerves again.

Avery is the only one able to that doesn't leave. The others say they're looking for parts, for blueprints, for any trace of survivors that maybe they missed. Ryley tries to ignore the silent confession that half of them no longer trust the Torgal. Tries to ignore that some of them may just be making up excuses to look for him.

After several hours, none of them have yet to return, and Ryley's spent all day trying to get Ozzy and Danby to drink even half a bottle of water split across the two of them, he itches to be outside again. It was always a bittersweet experience.

Having spent most of his life on a space station, the wind and sunlight and waves were.. strange, and made him feel awfully bubbly. But they also were loud, and scary, and he didn't ever want to set foot in the water, but staring at it felt nice.

The sun rises and sets were so much better than he's imagined they could be.

It was windy out today. Ryley can hear it from inside. He wants to feel it.

And after a long, really thoughtful argument, manages to convince Ozzy to follow him. Under strict conditions that Avery were to watch Danby, and that they wouldn't be out longer than 10 minutes. And well, who was Ryley to complain about how short that was if it was the most progress he's made with getting Ozzy to stop worrying since he was brought to the island?

He brings a nutrient bar, and starts his probably-terribly-manipulative plot to convince Ozzy to not let themself starve.

The Cyclops hasn't been moved since they parked it days ago. Ryley had thought that maybe someone else would have used it to travel since it was evidently abandoned until Bart's return. But it remained untouched.

Ozzy catches him staring.

"Did you get a chance to pilot it?"

Ryley sighs, a bit nostalgic all of a sudden. "I'm not exactly trained, Avery and Roman are captains, and Bart's been driving that thing for ten years. So I did not, no." Ozzy snorts at his exaggerated disappointment.

They sit on a cliff edge, far from any cave crawlers, and stare at the sunset. Clouds move far quicker here than most planets Ryley's seen. The wind makes them go even faster. The sound is strange against his ears now, cracking and whipping, shaking the trees and pushing the waves.

"Are most planets like this?" He asks Ozzy, because he's genuinely curious if this is typical or if his ears and untrained eyes make it seem so much more.

"Mostly water? Kind of. Really windy? Depends on the day. Fucking terrifying? No."

Ryley snickers.

"It's kind of beautiful, I think."

Ozzy hums. "I guess, yeah. The giant meat-eating snakes kind of overshadows it, though."

"Only if you're near their homes. I mean, they sound scary too, but knowing you're five hundred meters away from any of them makes it easier to stand."

"Five hundred meters isn't even that far away! And they're fast! This island is the safest place and it's still got giant crabs that wanna eat us."

"The cave crawlers aren't that bad," Ryley argues.

"They stand up to my knees! They're terrible!"

Ryley blinks. "What, really? There's no way they're that big."

"Ryley, you can go find one in about a minute, don't argue against something I can prove right here and now."

He laughs again. "Fine. I'll look for one later. You owe me a credit if I'm right."

"I don't have any money on me!"

"Then give me it when we get back to Alterra!"

Ozzy rolls their eyes. "Alright, fine, but I'm going to be right, and then _you'll_ owe _me_ a credit."

Ryley shakes his head, unable to hide the smile on his face. He _missed_ this. Missed them. Ryley thought they were _dead_ for weeks, thought he was alone on an unexplored planet for _weeks._  His heart aches as he stares at the sunset (they days passed so much _faster_ here than he's used to) and stares at Ozzy.

He stares at Ozzy, and sees their mouth move, but he does not hear the words.

Ryley blinks.

He can't hear Ozzy.

_Why can't he hear them?_

He turns his head back to the ocean, and finds even the waves sound quiet. He can't hear the sounds beneath the island. Can't hear the leaves or the wind.

There's a faint crackling in the back of his head, almost like static.

He finds it getting steadily louder.

Ozzy nudges his shoulder. Ryley looks at them again, and their expression morphes from confused to worried in little more than a second. Their mouth moves again, but Ryley can't really read lips, and he still can't hear so much as a whisper.

Panic starts to sink in. What the hell was happening?

The static gets almost deafeningly loud, and Ryley tries to shake it from his head, and he screws his eyes closed tight. When he opens them, he's surrounded by gray and green walls.

His lungs feel tight. He can't move. His entire body is numb and hazy, and he feels almost like a ghost.

There's a pool of water in front of him.

His head turns, not of his own accord, and he sees Avery beside him. There's a determined, almost fascinated expression on his face.

He looks behind him. There's several others.

Ryley blinks again.

The others look more like shapes that vaguely resemble people he knows rather than the people themselves. He recognizes the clothes, the shapes - he can tell who's clearly supposed to be Ozzy, or Keen - he can tell them all apart. But their faces are all blurry, almost not there at all.

Wait, no. He _can_ see one of them.

But he does not recognize the woman. A strange tattoo covers one of her eyes. She looks tired.

His head turns away again, before he has much of a chance to think further on it.

Ryley stares at the pool in front of him, trying to remember if he's seen it before. As he does, someone steps in front of him. Ryley realizes it's Bart.

But his face is just as blurry.

Why can he only see Avery and the woman?

Then he's walking forward, regardless of the fact he's not controlling himself, regardless of the panic that arises from jumping into the unknown water. He barely has time to catch his breath.

Then he's underwater. He cannot breathe. He cannot swim to the surface. He just heads deeper.

Bart and Avery are the only two to swim beside him. The others do not follow.

There's a platform below him. He swims to it.

His chest aches.

A fin sets itself on the platform, moving it downwards. Ryley thinks just the fin alone is at least three times his size.

_"I am what you seek."_

An antenna just barely stretches into view, and then his vision blacks out.

_"Come here, to me."_

He blinks again, and then he's coughing, sputtering to regain his oxygen.

"Ryley?" Asks a voice from in front of him, and Ryley looks up to Avery.

"What the hell just happened?" Ryley asks, still a bit breathless.

"Oh, thank god!" And Ryley glances up to Ozzy pacing the room - when did they end up inside the habitat? - with a terrified expression. Ryley notices their hands are shaking.

"You stopped responding." Avery responds to Ryley.

"You stopped _breathing_!" Ozzy howls. Ryley rubs at his throat.

"Oh. Yeah. That explains a lot."

"I thought you were _dying_ , Ryley! What the hell was that?!"

Ryley tries to think. But he doesn't really have an answer. He's not sure.

He shrugs. "Uh, well that's never happened _before_. I don't know. I just.. stopped hearing. And then when I blinked I felt like I was having some weirdly vivid dream."

Avery blinks. "That's… strange."

Ozzy keeps pacing.

Ryley blinks.

"Something talked to me."

Ozzy stops pacing.

"What?"

"Something- I didn't recognize the voice. It told me to go to it, that it's 'what I seek'."

"The hell?"

Avery lets out a breath. "Maybe Bart would know. Ask him when he gets back."

"Maybe it was a vision. Like the ones he has."

"Wait, we can all get them?" Ozzy interrupts. "I thought that was just a weird thing that happened to him. I mean, I wasn't even sure if he was telling the truth, but- something clearly just happened to you."

"Maybe the thing that talked to me is sending them." Ryley guesses.

Avery hums and shrugs his shoulders.

Ryley hears footsteps, and turns his head towards the door as the PDA announces Yu's return.

"So you're fine now, right?" Ozzy asks, their voice tight still. Ryley feels a bit guilty.

"Uh, yeah, I think."

Ozzy sighs, and rubs their forehead. "Okay. Okay, perfect, please don't do something like that again. I genuinely thought you would die for like, two whole minutes."

"Oh, yeah, I hated that. If that's something I have any sort of power over I assure you that I will never have that happen again." Ryley laughs, more out of nervousness than humour.

Ozzy sighs again, but they look less panicked, and less worried, so Ryley forces his own panic down. It was just a weird vision. They're all still safe.

But a small voice in the back of his brain reminds him of seeing Micah and Beatrix, their faces just as blurry as the others, and he remembers seeing Danby looking just as sickly as he does right now. Reminds him that there were people definitely not apart of the Aurora there.

And the small voice tells him maybe it was something more than just a singular strange occurrence. Tells him maybe he should be worried.

But he doesn't want to think about any of that. Doesn't want to think about something that might be a giant warning to him.

So instead he stands on slightly unsteady legs, and throws the questions and worries and fear to the back of his mind.

He can hear again, and breathe again.

And there is nothing wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u can tell im projecting onto all these characters bc i too ignore all my problems, even if these problems appear to be very big and very important


	14. Day 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sad crash bandicoot dance* time to be an ass to berkeley for 3,000 words

_ This is terrible. _

The thought running through Milo's head is that this is absolutely  _ terrible. _

The absence of multiple people made everything so much more difficult. He had enough to worry about without the only two gathering food not being there anymore.

Dead, his brain helpfully supplies. They're dead.

No. Ryley was the only one there who saw. Quinn wasn't paying attention. Maybe they were wrong, maybe they were alive.

Maybe he was just scared and didn't want to believe that they weren't coming back.

He wasn't even friends with them. Barely talked to them. But everytime he expects a comment from Micah and he turns his head to see nothing but empty space-

It  _ hurts. _ Milo hurts.

The weight is a nonexistent heaviness on his shoulders. New responsibility piles on top the already crushing emotion.

He  _ hates _ this place.

He doesn't think most of the others do. Maybe they fear the deeper waters, maybe they're mesmerized by it; terror and amazement, he's observed.

Milo would be lying to say he doesn't think some of it's nice. The hoverfish are cute - most of the tiny fish are. The glowing during the night is somewhat of a wonder - at least in the shallows and on the island.

But the rest, scares the shit out of him.

Emily and him were nearly killed by so many things so many times. The creatures were unfairly large. Why would a glowing crab need to have arms longer than he is tall? Why does it have EMP pulses?

Why do they all have to make noises like  _ that? _

This planet's done nothing but take away from them. From him. It's not given them a break for even a moment. They're never safe.

And now it's storming and he's 500 meters down (again) and there's no rescue coming ( _ again _ ) and he can't see Emily ( _ again. _ ) and he thinks this is all terrible and he just wants to be home.

He doesn't hate this planet. He  _ despises _ it.

"Stay low," Emily tells him through the comm relay. "It'll leave us alone."

Right.  _ Territorial. _ Stay out of its way and it'll leave you alone.

Doesn't stop Milo from being scared out of his mind as he keeps a close eye on the leviathan above them. How far away is it really? Less than a hundred meters? It's  _ longer _ than that. What if it sees them?

Emily thinks it's safe, out of their spaces, but Milo feels like he's just counting the seconds before the next attack.

Before the next close call.

Before the next death.

_ (He remembers seeing an awful lot of red, and an awful lot of nothing. He remembers choking and watching the thing swim away. Remembers the body going on forever before seeing the end of its tail. Remembers thinking he was going to die. Thinking they both were going to die.)  _

He finally sees the cave entrance. Emily hasn't. Milo almost doesn't point it out. He doesn't want to swim deeper.

They were looking for Bart. Emily was just hoping for something to keep Danby alive (Ryley and Ozzy were helping, but he looked worse and worse each day), and Milo wasn't sure what he was hoping the lone survivor would say or do.

Milo hadn't said much more than a few words to him. He still found himself worried by his disappearance. He thinks he'd be satisfied just knowing that he was  _ alive.  _ Too many had died already - maybe he was attached just because he was scared - he doesn't want to look because he doesn't  _ really _ want to know.

He doesn't know what to think of Bart. But he also doesn't know what's even deeper within caves that a leviathan prowls the outskirts of. He doesn't want to leave in case Bart really is here, if he's alive but hurt and they leave it'll be their fault if something happens to him - but he doesn't want to go further down.

But he does anyway. Terrible.

There's more of the blue glowy plants. Blue glowy everything, honestly.

It's strangely empty. Rays that look and sound peaceful enough, and plants.

"This.. isn't too bad, honestly." Emily points out with a laugh.

It's not dangerous. They're fine. They journey deeper.

They find an old rusted habitat. Several of the glass compartments are shattered, and some parts are limply hanging off, almost completely torn away.

But it's still quiet, so they swim inside, just to explore.

Emily finds some PDAs and a glowing tablet-like thing. Milo finds a bunch of outdated science-y equipment and an egg. All equally important finds.

But there's no sign anyone has visited the base for years. Algae and moss grows on practically everything inside. Milo doesn't think anyone's been here since it was destroyed.

Why was it destroyed?

Milo glances out one of the broken windows. He sees a hole that leads even deeper underground. Strange.

He doesn't dare say something about it, because their tanks wouldn't allow them to go deeper anyways and their submarines still can't go any deeper than, what, 700 meters? They're already near 600 down.

Plus, it looks really scary. And Milo doesn't like scary.

"He hasn't been here, hasn't he?" Emily asks, disappointment edging her tone. Milo shrugs.

"I doubt it. If he has, he's avoiding this thing. For some reason."

"Oh, something happened here, alright. I bet it's the trauma."

"Now that's just plain insensitive."

"C'mon, look - seabases don't just explode. And this place looks harmless. Something terrible happened here."

Yes. Terrible. That's exactly the word he'd use.

There's nothing left to find, and there's no sign of the Torgal, so they decide to leave. Hopefully to calmer waters than when they entered.

He dreams, a bit, that he'll simply be there when they return. Can't help to wish for it, right?

When they leave through the window again, Milo sees a flash of light. He blinks, and it disappears.

"Did you see that?" He asks, because nobody mentioned hallucinations being a thing that this weird disease caused. Or maybe he was just crazy.

"What?"

"The - flash. Like a swirl. A purple swirl."

"A purple swirl?"

"Shut up, I don't know what it was! Purple thing."

"Right. Flashing purple swirl thing. I did not see anything like that. Maybe your tank is lower than I realized."

Milo's certain he saw something. He looks around, but what does that help? He squints his eyes. Then hits his arm a bit harder than intended against Emily's side. She curses at him.

"See, there it is again!"

And then the lights disappear and there's a fish. Or at least some weird squid-like creature.

"..That's new." Emily comments.

"Things come out of the purple swirls! What the fuck! Let's leave!"

Emily laughs, and Milo's heart flutters. Again.

"It's not getting any closer to us, calm down." She still starts for the surface anyways, and Milo follows without hesitation. He does turn his head back again, just to look one last time. It's gone again.

Creepy.

He decides to think more about it later, and focus on getting the hell out of the water first.

Then he sees the light again, but it takes over his entire vision. For a split second, he's just confused. Then a searing pain stabs through his entire body. He can't even muster more than a choked gasp.

A second later and it all vanishes, leaving nothing but a painful ache. He blinks and realizes he's closer to the abandoned habitat again - he can't see Emily.

Then he hears a noise almost akin to a laugh and flinches his head to see the creature again. He notices it's purple and its stomach is translucent.

He also notices what he thought were just more tentacles are arms with sharp hooks at the end of them.

Sharp hooks that reach for him.

In a blur of panic, he kicks it. He doubt it does much underwater, but it startles the creature, and it teleports away again. It  _ teleports. _

"Milo?" He hears over the comm link.

"It can teleport! Purple swirl  _ is _ a fish, and it can  _ teleport!"  _ He shrieks back, desperately trying to figure out where it went.

"What are you talking about? What happened?"

"It- I don't know! It disappeared again, and now I'm near the habitat. It tried to attack me!"

"Hey, calm down, we're fine," She comforts, but it doesn't help his rapid heartbeat. "Here, I'll turn on my flashlight so you can see me. We're already near the cave entrance, maybe they don't leave this place."

Milo murmurs an okay, and then he sees the stream of light, not too far away. It was scarily dark and foggy here; he was surprised to realize just how limited his vision was. Had he really not seen her before?

He pushes forward faster than he had before, and doesn't stop until he's right beside Emily.

"See?" She starts. "We're fi-"

She pauses when an all-too familiar creaking echoes awfully loud. Milo didn't think his heart could have been thumping harder in his chest - but look at him now.

He peers into the darkness to see that goddamn translucent  _ thing _ . The thing that gave them an oh-so friendly greeting when they left the lifepod. The thing he despises more than any leviathan or drop-off into nothingness.

_ (500 meters was a lot, but she was convinced they could make it, because they  _ had _ to. They can't die here; they're not dying because of Alterra's fucked up lifepods, their disregard for anything but more money. He won't let them have the satisfaction of getting away with this.) _

He expects Yu to say something. Her silence makes him all the more scared; all the more  _ angry.  _ God, if they had brought a knife with them he'd rip it to shreds if it got close enough.

_ (Leaving the pod, there's nothing but darkness. He's not particularly scared of deep waters - the lifepod falling surely scared off everything anyways - but not being able to see more than a few meters in front of him is… creepy. The start swimming up. He tries swimming as fast as he could. He never was able to hold his breath for very long.) _

Emily turns the flashlight off. Once they were close enough to see you it didn't matter much - but they hated light. Probably from being so deep underwater. They learned that quickly enough. Maybe they were fine.

_ (A lot of it glowed. He was mostly just thankful that it wasn't pitch black. The plants made it a little easier to find the surface. When he sees a giant blue thing, he initially thinks it's just another plant. Then he sees the eyes and legs. Sees it swimming towards them. Hears the creaking gurgling shrieks-) _

Emily drops the flashlight a second later, seemingly without much hesitation. Milo finds himself briefly concerned about a reprimand and having to pay for a new one - before remembering Alterra would probably abandon them on this planet once they hear of the crash.

_ (He doesn't even realize the size of the creature until it's right next to him, and she's pulling on his arm, they have to swim away, have to make it to the surface-) _

He doubts most of the other survivors are even aware they have a flashlight, let alone would they care about it being lost. He  _ knows _ Roman won't care more for it than their safety.

_ (But she can't do enough. He can't do enough. The creature pushes him back down, and he can't see the sky, can't see her, feels pain in his arm and sees nothing but darkness and distant glowing plants and red red red-) _

"Go." He mutters, his voice tight. He doesn't get a response. He doesn't expect one. He just wants out of there.

_ (He kicks and pushes and tries so hard to get away he needs away- He can't die here. He cannot. _

_ She won't let him. How could she let him die? How could she watch and do nothing?) _

It doesn't follow them out the cave. He doesn't know if it ever saw him to begin with. Every noise makes him hold his breath for a second, makes him wince and kick a leg a little harder than necessary.

_ (All they had were two seaglides. He kept his in one hand, he needs it to make it to the surface, he can't drop it. He can't afford to drop it. _

_ But he does drop it. Because he hurts and he's certain he's about to die anyway. He can't die. But he can't fight this thing. Not with his hands, at least. Not with her. _

_ He could not accept this fate. He refuses to accept this. _

_ He has no other choice.) _

He almost forgets about the leviathan outside. But it's not that fast. And it's back is turned. For once he doesn't think much on it. He just swims up. Swims away.

_ (It lets him go, all of a sudden. Chases after the seaglide. He doesn't know exactly why. He doesn't care to know why. Barely a second after it disappears, something else is touching his arm, and he panics for a moment, before recognizing her. Human. Not another creature. He's not sure if he's ever been so happy to see her face. But maybe there was competition. He was always happy to see her face. _

_ She still had her seaglide. She keeps a hold of his uninjured arm. He sticks to her side like she holds his life in her hands. He thinks she might as well. _

_ He notices the light on the seaglide is off. Nothing chases them.) _

When they finally, finally, breach the surface, the waves are strong and nearly throw him back under. The island is right next to them.

They somehow manage to drag themselves up onto the beach. His limbs feel impossibly heavy all of a sudden.

_ (They followed Roman's directions to the rendezvous. Tries to ignore the sadness that grips his heart at the news of the captain. Tries to ignore just how many others might have fallen the same fate. _

_ When they reach land, it's not long before they find Roman. His heart drops when he sees how red and puffy his eyes are. _

_ He isn't sure how he feels about being told nobody else had reached the island yet. About his lifepod sinking as well. He feels low and horrible and he thinks he's shaking. Although, that might be the blood loss. Or the near-death experience. _

_ He definitely feels sick to his stomach, regardless.) _

They just lay on the sand for a few moments. Rain hits his face, and he's quickly starting to shiver from the cold. But that's really the last of his worries.

Emily leans up on her elbows and peers down at him.

"You okay?"

He offers her an almost forced smile.  _ Almost _ forced. His heart fluttered (ugh) looking into her eyes. (God, he hated emotions, too. He nearly dies and his head drags him right on back to  _ this. _ )

"I mean.. no. That was terrifying. I'm not hurt though, if that's what you mean."

And she laughs, just a bit, and he drags himself off the sand. All he does is sit instead of lay. The panic finally eases its hold on him.

_ (He stays on the island, and Emily and Roman leave to the Aurora to look for others, and he wants to pace but he's all too tired. They bandage his arm with what Roman dragged up from his pod. It's not much. It still hurts. At least he's not bleeding out anymore. _

_ But he's seen what the ocean has in store. He knows what they could see out there. The Aurora was so far away. What if they didn't come back? How long should he wait? How would he ever know if they were okay or not? _

_ He hopes and hopes and hopes some more. An hour passes and he thinks they had to have made it by now. Stares at the PDA in his hands and considers everything he could have done differently. _

_ But how could he have changed anything? The only change he impacted was whether he lived or died. _

_ And he was alive.) _

The storm continues, but he was out of the water, and as he forced his legs to make the walk back to the habitat, he glances at the back of Emily's head. And he supposes, that even though this entire situation was terrible - absolutely  _ terrible _ \- it could be worst.

_ (They return after another hour. They even found a lifepod - found Micah, a technician - still afloat, still alive. _

_ And  _ she _ was alive.) _

Bart still is nowhere to be found. There's disappointment on Avery's face, concern on Roman's - Ryley and Jochi both look upset and scared. Milo wonders if maybe he was just waiting out the storm. Maybe once the skies cleared he'd be on his way.

He just hoped he was alive.

_ (They were alive. Others had to be, too.) _

How many more could they possibly lose? How many deaths can he stand?

There's coughing, and wheezing, and Milo knows they're sick.

He wouldn't have needed Roman's explanation to know the green blisters that are starting to show on his fingers were bad. He knew the nausea and the insomnia and the itchiness that doesn't ever go away were bad.

He knew this was bad. Knew it was terrible.

How many days do they have left? Bart managed years. But Bart seemed to know about a cure, from what he knows he explained. Until he returns, they have no way to slow it, no cure.

Their days are numbered. Clearly it was affecting them all differently. Avery and Ryley had yet to show signs. Danby was dying.

He lays in bed and has the terrible thought of  _ what if I die last? What if I watch them go and I can't do anything? What if they die and then I  _ don't?

Terrible thought. Terrible, terrible thoughts.

_ (Other survivors. There had to be other survivors. They can't be the only four that made it.) _

But he glances over his shoulder, and Emily sits at a desk and listens to the PDA entries saved on the few she recovered. Milo can faintly hear the words.

And he suddenly finds himself grieving over two people he has never met. Over one he knew was still alive.

How many people died on this planet because they crashed? How many people watched friends and family perish? How many more  _ will? _

There aren't answers to his questions. Not even Bart could possibly know the extent of lives lost from the fauna, from the disease.

There aren't answers. Milo can almost be glad of that. The answers would probably just cause his heart to feel heavier - make him for guiltier for things that aren't his fault, that he could never possibly control.

But he can just manage to convince himself that maybe the number can finally come to a halt. Maybe they can stop it. Maybe the answers do lie in the planet somewhere.

He manages to convince himself that this will end, and he will not die here. No more will die here. He can't let them. He can't sit by and let this continue.

He decides to bottle the fear in his stomach that tells him it's a terrible idea, and tries to remember the blueprints to a Seamoth.

He's going to go further and look for the Torgal. He won't let him hide anymore. They need him.

In the morning, he's going, and he's not going to go back to the island until he finds that damn kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> berkeley bout to go hog fucking wild. absolutely FERAL. hes tired of this shit hes taken advancing the plot into his own hands.


	15. Day 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUCK consistent uploads IM POSTING THIS NOW

_"I am what you seek."_

The words repeat in whispers, always in the back of Ryley's head.

_"Come here."_

His fingers twitch as he glances out a window. He can see a sliver of the moon. He's too restless to sleep.

_"To me."_

He wishes he knew how. He doesn't know what's calling to him. He definitely doesn't know where it is. Somewhere in the ocean? He would assume so. It looked like it was held in giant aquarium. Where the hell could something like that be? Not the other island. Not here.

What does it even mean? What he seeks? A way off the planet?

He glances over to Ozzy and Danby, both awake, murmuring to each other from the other side of the room. Ryley hears each syllable. He pretends he doesn't. Tries to get lost in his own thoughts.

A cure? Is that what he seeks?

Answers. He seeks answers. Answers to.. a lot, honestly. He has a lot of questions.

But how would it have answers to any of his questions? How could it know?

He can hear voices echo from the speakers of a PDA. Emily was listening to them. They found something built by the Degasi.

Ryley hears Bart's voice (and it is startlingly more young and care-free - but that probably makes sense all things considered) and finds himself wondering yet again where he could be.

He doesn't try to listen for him again. He knows he won't be able to tell. The raindrops pounding the roof of the habitat and the angry waves certainly don't help.

He sighs, quietly.

They just have to hold out for a few more days. They'll be fine.

 

* * *

 

And of course, the universe spits in his face, because it always does, and he wakes up with the weather even worse than the night before. And his stomach doesn't allow him to keep anything down at all. And his hands are unbearably itchy. And Avery is starting to show symptoms of the damn disease now, too.

And to top all of that off, their mobile vehicle bay is missing. And so is Milo. Despite apparently hating being in the water.

But what can they do? They don't have enough resources to go after him. They don't even know where he went. And the weather is all too terrible to attempt to go out into.

So despite the worry imbedded into his stomach, despite the numerous panicked complaints from Emily, despite all of them clearly wanting, needing, to do something-

They don't.

They wait. Wait some more. Wait and hope for the best. Because what can a small group of people stranded on an island during a storm really do besides wait and hope they're not the next ones to die? Hope the ones beside them don't fall the same fate as everyone else?

Ryley shakes his head, tries to stop himself from scratching his hands because he's already made them start bleeding once, and focuses on the tiny voice in the back of his head, repeating the same few words over and over. He tries to make sense of them. Tries to figure out whatever it's telling him. Where the creature could be. Wracks his brain for answers.

He can't come up with anything at all.

 

* * *

 

Another hour passes. Ryley hears stones and ground shift and crumble from other parts of the island. Hears some a little closer than he likes crash into the water. He's sure the habitat isn't close enough to any edges for anything to hit - but his stomach flips every time he hears another splash.

At some point he finds himself in an observatory, built under the water. The giant floaters felt strangely calming as he stares. Nothing else seemed to be around the island but them.

At some point, Avery ends up sitting beside him in that observatory. Neither of them say anything. Ryley's content with his silence. The world was loud enough without someone trying to talk to him - not that he would be upset by a conversation. He briefly wonders if that's why he's quiet around him anymore.

He's grateful for the company. Grateful that for some miraculous reason Avery doesn't hate him (or any of them, honestly,) despite everything.

But then he reasons, _of course_ he doesn't. If Avery holds any ill-will towards anyone, it's Alterra. The higher-ups. The CEOs.

Because since when are some technicians and system maintenance members able to control anything? Ryley's well aware of how much Yu and Berkeley _alone_ pissed off Alterra just because of the rules they started breaking in their boredom.

Ryley did the best he could considering the situation. Ryley _tried._ Why would Avery hate him for that?

The self-assurance somehow calms Ryley's nerves a considerable amount. He glances over to look at Avery's face. It's a remarkably similar expression to the one in his vision.

 _His vision_. Is that what he's calling it now? He hasn't discussed it since with anyone. He's never felt pulled to, and he wouldn't know what to talk about or how either way.

But staring at the side of Avery's face, he feels compelled to tell him everything he saw.

His gut still tells him to keep it secretive for now. He'd rather talk to Bart about it first before freaking anyone else out more.

He turns away, and the words that were starting to form die in his throat.

 

* * *

 

If he wasn't restless before, he certainly is now. Every cough, every wave crashing into the habitat, every cry from something below - it doesn't make him jump anymore, doesn't feel overwhelming. It's loud, and a lot to sort through - but if he really concentrates he can deal with it. More than deal with it.

Ryley doesn't even bother telling anyone he's going outside.

He can briefly hear his name said from some speakers inside the habitat.

He doesn't need to tell them he's going outside. They'll already know.

The moment he's outside, he realizes he underestimated the weather. He's not even sure how he managed to, given everything. But the wind nearly knocks him off his feet, and rain soaks through his clothes the second he closes the hatch behind him. There's enough fog and clouds that he can barely see more than a few meters in front of him.

He almost considers going back inside. But he pushes the thought aside and trudges his way through the storm.

It's only once he can see the sand does he recognize an oddity. It's only once he hears the sounds does he realize - it's voices.

He hears the Seamoths and their hatches, and by the time Ryley's scurried down the cliff edge (only slipping and nearly falling in the mud once, thank you), he sees the two shapes struggling to stand up in the currents.

Don't get him wrong - he's glad to see Berkeley okay - but the moment his eyes meet Bart's, he nearly forgets all about Milo.

His heart skips a beat - and he tries to stuff out the emotion. He doesn't have time for that, and he's not about to get flustered just because Bart has unfairly pretty eyes.

 _I'm happy he's okay, Bart's okay, you were just worried,_ he thinks to himself. _Act like someone reasonably should in this situation!_

"Hi," He squeaks, and he feels his face heat up, and then coughs at the end of the word, and _then_ has to stop the coughing fit that threatens to follow it. Perfect job, that was smooth.

Bart smiles (he _smiles!)_ at him. "..Hi. Um. Sorry. For disappearing."

"You can apologize to and greet everyone _later,"_ Milo cuts in, pushes Bart just enough to force him to take a step forward. Bart glares at him - but there doesn't seem to be real heat beneath the gaze. Ryley notices the barely-there smile tugging at Milo's lips as he sidesteps past them, and his heart flutters as he realizes at least one other person hasn't lost faith in the Torgal.

"He has a point, I suppose," Bart says as he steps beside Ryley, and the two follow after Berkeley. (who clearly ran to get out of the rain. Ryley doesn't care as much. They were on a planet that was probably 99% water, what did it matter if they were standing in the rain?)

Ryley notices the extra pack Bart was carrying, slung over one shoulder. He's not sure if Bart caught his gaze or if was his weird prediction-visions, but he moves it a second later, holding it closer to his chest in what appears to be an effort to shield it from the water.

"You're getting sicker, aren't you?" Bart asks, and Ryley's certain he already knows the answer.

He winces out a, "Yeah- well, maybe- some of us." and Bart nods his head.

"Well. Don't worry so much. I managed ten years, so I can keep you all going for a few more weeks. We should reach the cure by then."

Ryley briefly remembers his vision. Wonders if he should bring it up now.

Decides it could wait, just a bit.

"A permanent cure?"

Bart smiles at him again. "What else?"

Ryley suddenly realizes he's in over his head, and keeps his head strictly forward, and rushes just a bit when he sees the habitat - only feeling a bit jealous when Bart effortlessly slides his way through the ground that clearly wanted Ryley dead.

Now that Bart is a few steps in front of him, Ryley is reminded of the Aurora. Of the Cyclops. Reminded of things he'd much rather forget for now. But they surface anyway and-

"We were all really worried, you know. If you wanted to leave you should've said so instead of saying you'd be right back."

-and he should probably have _not_ said that.

Bart pauses for a moment. Ryley expects himself to stop talking then. Didn't really want to start talking to begin with.

"I _missed_ you."

But then his stupid mouth has to keep going. And now he feels thoroughly embarrassed and Bart looks guilty when he turns his head towards him and _wait_ did he just say he missed him-

"I mean- uh, it's not a big deal, I- we- it's just that you said you'd be an hour and then you didn't come back and we even went out looking for you and we couldn't find anything. I know you said you've spent a long time here but- uh, you know, we already had a lot of people die and we were really scared-"

He knows he's just making this worse now, but he can't stop talking-

"I know, I'm an asshole, I get it from my father, probably." Bart interrupts, "I shouldn't have left for so long, especially since I said I'd be back soon. I.. got caught up in something. Shouldn't happen again."

Ryley is full of emotion that he's not quite sure how to release. Other than curling up into a ball and crying underneath a bed. But he could do that later, so, albeit a bit numbly, he nods his head and murmurs an apology for bringing it up. Bart tells him to not apologize. Ryley still feels like a bit of a jerk regardless.

Then he hears Milo's voice, and smiles as he realizes even Ozzy stepped out of their room to see him.

"Anyone else upset at me? Or was it just you and Jochi?"

"How'd you know he was upset?"

"I've known him all my life; he's probably gonna kill me himself for this."

Ryley snickers, and pauses before opening the hatch. "Uh, most of us were.. worried. I don't know. Don't take it personally if you get yelled at."

"Oh. This sounds like it'll be fun." Bart deadpans, and Ryley laughs again, and he still feels incessantly sad, and anxious, and scared-

-but standing beside Bart, knowing they have a plan, knowing that he doesn't think it'll take longer than a few weeks - he feels a bit better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so like. no idea if ive mentioned this before but bart's voice actor has like. STUNNINGLY GORGEOUS EYES. like im not even the person to say someone has beautiful eyes but that man has beautiful eyes. so im gonna just toss that fact onto bart and self project my feelings about that onto ryley akfnkanflanf


	16. Day 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is EXACTLY 3:53 in the morning HAVE FUN

The days were.. strange. Long, unfairly long - and yet the daylight seemed to only last a few hours. They were short. The days buzzed by and he felt like he was sleeping most of them away. Or just laying around feeling miserable.

Because if there were one way to describe how Danby felt, it was _miserable_.

It's not all bad, he reasons. At least others survived. At least _Ozzy_ survived. He's not sure how lucky he really was, but everytime he thought about how out of hundreds, Ozzy was one of the few to make it longer than a few hours - he's relieved enough that he could cry.

Ryley's here, too. For a few days - for weeks - Danby was sure he had seen him for the last time before the Aurora was hit. Now he spends nearly as much time with him as Ozzy.

He's not quite sure if it's just because he also thought others hadn't made it - if he's scared of being alone again (Danby never thought he was alone - he never thought he was the only one left. Ryley had. For _weeks.)_ or if it was because he was specifically worried about losing Danby.

He's not an idiot. He's dying. He knows that. Knows they all must be. Ryley and Ozzy insist on never leaving his side because they know they might have less time together than they anticipated. He knows that. It doesn't take a doctor to tell when something's this wrong.

But then Torgal shows back up. Danby's only vaguely sure of who he even is. But Ryley seems to trust him. Ozzy...not so much. Danby doesn't think they don't like him, they're just worried and doubtful after this all. An awful lot was kept from them all for an awful long amount of time. Although, he also contributed to that, didn't he?

Torgal shows back up when he's sleeping, but then there's a few shouts and he startled awake. He's nervous at first, just because he was alone. (He never thought he was _alone_ , but he was stuck in a lifepod for god knows how long with no way to contact anyone else and now he's just a little paranoid)

Danby doesn't even particularly want to move, let alone try to figure out what's happening outside his room. His entire body aches and itches and yeah, this was why he had thought of himself as miserable for all these weeks.

By the time Ozzy does re-enter the room, he's followed by Torgal, and a last ditch hope. A theory.

A way out.

 

* * *

 

It takes nearly a week for Danby to even start to notice any difference. It certainly doesn't make him better. It slows it down, slows symptoms, lessens them; it doesn't fix it.

He can't help but feel impressed. Some random kid managed to create an almost-vaccine against a disease that others had spent thousands of years researching without being able to figure out a cure. It's shaky and unreliable at best - but it _works._ And it's the best shot they've got.

And Danby even manages to eat something that some-odd week later.

Only half of it.

But he's barely eaten anything in a month and it feels good to actually feel full and not thirsty. He manages to drag himself out of bed for longer than five minutes. His muscles protest, but he manages, and all his spirits that previously had melted start to rise again.

Because if he can do this, despite how simple it may seem, then everyone else can. He was the worst off. If he can manage a few more days, a few more weeks, then everyone else has a real chance at living.

When he goes back to sleep that night, he lets himself hope, just for a bit, that they have a chance.

And he dreams.

_Dreams of sharks with sharp teeth and armoured skin, eels that light up the darkness with electric waves, things that seem tiny and harmless that trick and manipulate and make him think he's safe when he's two hundred meters under sea level and in a destroyed lifepod._

_Dreams of things he's certain he's never seen before. Ghostly snakes, something so similar to a dragon that even it's roars resemble one._

_Something young, newly hatched. He sees it cling to his arm, despite being so much longer than it. He wants to shake it off, get away, who knows what's passive or not in these waters?_

_But he doesn't, and he finds a strange fondness in his heart staring at it. A baby. How could he be scared of a baby? Even if the adults were scary, what harm could this one do?_

_"My young need to hatch,"_

_The voice is unfamiliar. He squints his eyes, glanced up, realizes that something was sitting in front of him. Definitely not a baby. Definitely just called them her young. But they had also already hatched, they don't need to hatch._

_He can't quite make out the face of the creature. Can just barely make out it's arms, not even that close to him but looking as if they are just from the sheer size of them._

_"I want to help you. I need you to help me."_

_Danby expects fear. Thinks he should be terrified._

_He simply gazes at the creature in front of him and feels gratitude._

He awakes feeling out of breath. But that was mostly normal anymore.

It was still dark outside, and Ozzy still lay beside him, and they hadn't woken yet.

So Danby pushes the weird dream aside, regains his breath, and eventually, falls back into slumber.

The next morning, he manages to sneak outside alone. Not that he was bothered by his companions, hell no; he just wished to be alone for a few minutes. He's not often been given the opportunity, before the crash, before the Aurora, and definitely after both.

He no doubt believes Ryley could hear his every step regardless (Danby wondered how the man ever even slept if the illness had affected him so greatly so quickly) and, in a way, he knows he'll never truly feel alone unless he's halfway across the planet.

But barely more than a minute into his walk, he comes across the old Degasi habitat. Danby keeps a safe distance from the crabs (Ryley and Bart call them something, but Danby cannot remember the name of anything on this planet, and they look at least somewhat like earth crabs, so to hell with it) and examines the base a bit more.

He’s never had much of a chance to explore outside the lagoon, having become sick at a much quicker pace than the others, practically as soon as he hit the water. He thinks he’s been told the water is what was spreading the infection, so they all were sick when they hit the water, but most of them haven’t been showing more signs than coughing until recently.

And even then, the cure has slowed that down for them, too.

Danby notes the rust staining the outside, the shattered glass, the corridors collapsing and being held together by bent pipes - notes the mud and stone covering half of one of the rooms, wonders how much more is buried under the landslide.

Wonders how much of Bart’s ‘cure’ is really a _cure,_ versus a desperate attempt to stretch out their lifespans by a few extra months, maybe years.

Danby tries to remember to talk to the kid about it sometime later.

He walks away from the habitat - abandoned yet again - feeling uneasy staring at its sorry state. He briefly worries about the same fate happening to their own.

The Degasi only had three members inside the habitat, and many less rooms - Danby is almost certain they’ll probably be fine, but if the same thing were to happen to them… _would_ they all be able to get out in time?

Danby pauses, just for a second, and turns his head towards one of the mountains. He can see the faint far away shape of someone at the top, sitting in the doorframe of one of the observatories.

He pushes his anxiety away and continues back to the lagoon. They’d be fine.

When he steps through the hatch, his name echoes through the hallway. Danby had expected someone to pretty instantly be by his side (the habitat was larger than the Degasi’s, but it still was rather tiny - someone was almost always by the door anyhow) and is surprised to find that nobody greets him back. 

He can faintly hear voices coming from down the corridor. He follows them. He comes across everyone - minus Jochi, who seemed to be absent from the habitat - standing in a circle around a table. Danby’s gaze meets the second of- the _captain’s_ eyes.

Danby still wasn’t used to the fact that Roman was captain. He wasn’t sure if he should call him Roman, Keen, or captain. Everyone else seemed to be using first names, but - that wasn’t how one was _supposed_ to refer to someone in higher command than them.

Maybe none of it mattered right now.

But what if it did later?

What if they got in trouble _later?_ How much trouble are all of them going to be in once they get back to Alterra?

Danby’s head swirls with worries and anxieties he hadn’t thought about before, things he simply couldn’t be bothered to deal with before. But now he was really thinking about what happens when they get back, and, wow, was there so much that could potentially ruin all their lives.

Maybe Bart and Jochi would be fine. They weren’t Alterran, and they were rich. But Danby knows how much Alterra loves to make themselves look better. They’d place all the blame on them for failures the Aurora had.

Keen would be blamed for not sending rescue missions, captain Hollister would be blamed for getting too close to the planet, Ryley would be blamed for not securing the lifepods. Things out of their control, things all on Alterra, would be their fault.

Danby thinks about the first two hours he was stuck in his lifepod. Thinks about what he recorded on his PDA, something he was certain would be his last words, and wonders what Alterra will do to _him_ when he gets back.

Roman explains their plan, pulling Danby aside, once everyone starts to mingle away. A plan to head deep into the planet - 900 meters - to look for kyanite. Apparently it was essential for modules to allow their submersibles to continue even deeper.

Danby had no idea why any of them would want to go deeper than 900 meters. But Bart, as always, refused to elaborate, other than he hadn’t done it himself because the area was too dangerous to be there on your own. Which made Danby even more reluctant to see the good in the decision.

Although, he wasn’t planning on going, if he wasn’t needed. He wonders if there ever would be a time where he _was_ needed. What good would a half-assed doctor be on a 99% water alien world?

Almost as if reading his thoughts, Keen fishes a scratched PDA out from a bag, and hands it to Danby. After a brief hesitation,

“Micah found this in a sunken lifepod. He, Beatrix, and I are the only ones that listened to the recording. Ryley wasn’t here yet, so he doesn’t know about it, either, before you ask.”

Danby boots up the PDA, and sure enough, his name is written in the top corner. He thought it had been lost - thought maybe, worst case scenario, Alterra kept everything in some data box that would be able to find what he voiced. He certainly hadn’t expected to live after writing it, and definitely wasn’t hoping a higher-up would find it after he somehow lives.

“I deleted it.”

Danby glances up from the screen. Roman keeps his gaze on the tablet held in Miles’ hands.

“If you still want anyone else to know, that’s your decision. If you don’t, I won’t tell.”

Danby laughs, a bit more like a chuckle than anything else, and runs a hand through his hair. “Isn’t it against some regulations or something to not report this to Alterra?”

Keen offers him a crooked lip-sealed smile. “Well.. yes. But I can’t report to anyone right now, and, even if I could, the only thing to back up those claims doesn’t exist anymore. Who would believe me if I bothered saying something?”

He considers the words for a second. Something he’s kept quiet and held close to his chest, a secret caught his throat for years, and now someone else knows. Danby’s not even told Ozzy yet. He’s never told anyone.

And now someone knows. Knows a most protectively kept secret.

Then, he nods.

“I’ll deal with it later,”

And Roman smiles again, more genuine this time. Danby doesn’t recall the last time he’s seen him do that. And Roman nods, too, and turns to walk out of the room.

“Thank you.” Danby quickly mewls before Keen takes more than a step away. He looks over his shoulder at him.

“Of course.”

Danby lets him walk off with that, and stares at his PDA for a bit longer, before shutting it back off.

It’s not a priority right now. Getting off the planet, alive and cured, was a priority. Saving the rest of the life still left was a priority.

His life built upon lies and expectations he could never genuinely amount to was not something that was worth putting everything else on hold to deal with. He could figure it out on the way back to federal space. That would give him, what, a few weeks to think it over?

How long would it take to return to Alterra? How strong was the emergency rocket and anything they could use to fuel it?

Ah, he can deal with that later, too.

Right now, he plans to figure out who’s deciding to put their life in danger almost a thousand meters under sea level, and maybe, if one of those someone’s happens to be Ryley, convince him to stay.

Just for one mission. He’d agree to stay behind just once. Just once, and Danby wouldn’t have to worry about his life, and Ozzy wouldn’t have to worry, and the three of them could just exist, safe, for a little while longer before they inevitably push their way into the face of danger.

Because being in harm's way seemed the only way anything was going to get done here.

Just once, let Ryley stay out of harm’s way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *thinks about aurora members interacting with one another* oh shit i can just do that whenever i want now huh


	17. Day 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JOCHI TIME JOCHI TIME JOCHI TIME JOCHI TIME JOCHI TI

"Why are we even doing this? What do we gain from doing this?"

Milo and Emily had been bickering for maybe the past five minutes. Jochi sits on a nearby stone, fiddles with his PDA, and listens.

"If you don't want to go, you can stay here. That- that sounded mean, I didn't mean it like that, nobody's going to care if you stay behind or not is what I meant."

"I'm _going_ because _you are,_ dipshit. I'm not letting you out of my sight in case you want to try disappearing for a day again."

"One day! It was one day and I was fine!"

"You could have died!"

Jochi really couldn't tell if either of them were even remotely upset with the other, or just exaggerating for their own point. He's sure that either way they'll figure it out on their own before nightfall. Problem solving is a miraculous ability of theirs.

Jochi shifts his attention to the Cyclops, sitting just visible above the water at the bank. Ryley and Avery were sitting on the top of it. They seemed to be talking to Bart, standing on the sand.

Jochi's gaze falls to the sand. Thinks about it for an awfully long time; not actually that long at all, just really long compared to any time anyone else has ever thought about sand.

He can't place why, but the sand feels important. Something he should remember. Something he was told? Why does it feel so _important?_

His eyes flick to the PDA again, the voice logs of the Degasi, of the other Aurora members, of his own recordings.

He taps the off button, and his fingertips do not feel the touch.

Jochi stands and limps his way to another part of the claustrophobic island. Ignores Ryley's eyes burning into his back as he leaves.

He doesn't stop walking until cliffs and trees cover any sign of the Aurora. Doesn't stop walking until he finds Roman.

Finds him pacing back and forth, a bundle of anxiety that surely anyone would see. He pauses when he spots Jochi.

"Are you okay?" Jochi asks softly.

Roman sighs, and runs a hand through his hair. "I don't even have an answer to that anymore. I don't know."

Jochi takes a few steps forward to stand beside him. Roman reaches for his hand instantly. Jochi can't help his smile.

"Maybe you should take a break and stay. The three of them can handle themselves,"

Roman laughs at that. "They're risking their lives. What would I be doing here while they're nine hundred meters underwater?"

He raises his eyebrows. "I'm sure I could think of _something.."_

"That would terrorize Ryley!" Roman pushes his shoulder, and Jochi grins.

"Terrorize is a strong word! Maybe make him very uncomfortable around us for a few days."

Roman rolls his eyes, and Jochi's heart soars. He still can barely believe he's alive. He's not sure when, if ever, he'll look at him without thinking he was just so _lucky._

"..seriously though, Jochi, I can't just sit around while they put themselves in danger," Roman starts, and pauses for a second, as if contemplating what to say next, before continuing, "Vance told me that the rest of the crew were my responsibility. I can't ignore that. I have to go with them."

Jochi stares at him.

He understands completely - understands what Vance meant to him, understands what commands and Alterran rules mean to him - but he hates the guilt and responsibilities it's thrown onto Roman's shoulders. Hates how he blames himself now, hates how they were all forced to keep the Degasi mission secret and people died for it.

He understands because they've fallen to nearly the same level, but god, does he wish that Roman didn't have to deal with any of it. He doesn't deserve any of this.

He tightens his grip on his hand.

"If you insist. Who am I to keep you from doing what you must?"

Roman looks up at him and smiles, and Jochi just now realizes his eyes are a bit swollen, and his heart cracks. He thinks Roman notices, as the next second he leans up to peck his lips. Jochi smiles again, and it feels a bit bittersweet this time.

"I.."

_Love you,_ his brain finishes. But he's not said it before, stupidly, and Roman's still afraid to let anyone know about their relationship, and who knows if Ryley's been paying enough attention to hear them, and he bites his tongue.

"..Just come back safe."

He hopes his message comes across. Roman squeezes his hand before letting go, and Jochi thinks that, yes, he knows what he meant.

As he watches Roman walks back to the Cyclops, Jochi's supplies him with an idea.

He looks for Bart next.

 

* * *

 

And after some vaguely almost-helpful guidance from Emily and Milo, and a cut in from Danby, he finds Bart at the destroyed seabase.

Jochi tries to avoid looking at the buried habitat. Bart's eyes rake over it.

"Are you busy?" Jochi asks, crossing his arms behind his back. Bart turns his head to look at him.

"Not really. Unless you count reminiscing as something important. Need something?"

"I want to go with you."

Bart blinks. "No."

Jochi scoffs. "What? Why not?"

"It's dangerous, and you're still hurt."

"I'm perfectly fine-"

"You're still _limping,_ Jochi. Stay here."

"I've been stuck inside for weeks, I'm perfectly qualified to stand inside a Cyclops while everyone else does something. I already stand around doing nothing all day."

Bart raises his eyebrows. "Don't take it personally. It's- It's literally a corridor full of lava and very aggressive and territorial animals. I don't want to risk you getting hurt."

"If it's that dangerous, why should any of us go? We're all at about the same level of alive and healthy right now, I see no reason that I shouldn't go other than bias."

Bart blinks, and glares at him. Jochi just smiles, and then Bart sighs and turns away.

"Fine, but you're staying on the chair the entire time."

"Sounds simple enough," Jochi replies with a grin.

He considers going back to the Cyclops with that, but a small nagging voice keeps him in place. He eyes Bart, and finally turns his gaze to the Degasi's habitat.

Bart had a PDA entry written, found in one of the observatories. He thought he was going to die. He sounded accepting in it.

Jochi spent eight years wondering what happened to the Torgals. Eight years awaiting word from any passing ships, waiting for any sign at all that they were alive. Eight years waiting for someone to do something, to give him the chance to do something. Eight years refusing to mourn.

In eight years, Bart's been slowly dying down here. In eight years, Paul's not a hope he can have anymore.

Eight years, and he finally allows himself to accept he saw one of them for the last time.

Eight years, and he's still not even sure how he died. If it could have been prevented. If someone could have gotten to them sooner.

He looks back at Bart.

Jochi has no idea what to say to him.

"To get to the corridor, we'll need to pass through the river. There's a few other habitats built down there. Made me remember where this all started. I still don't know if we ever should have left the island."

Jochi thinks about the words carefully.

"If you hadn't, you'd have never figured out how to cure the Kharra. The planet would have suffered. You did what you could in a bad situation."

Bart hums. "In that case, I wish I figured it out sooner. We were so _close_ to solving it. We almost found her. The three of us would all still be here if I was quicker."

Jochi feels sorrow for him. Finds himself comparing Bart's troubles to Roman's. Then he blinks, and gazes at the side of Bart's face.

"Her?"

Bart's silent for a second. Then he turns, and begins walking back in the direction of the rest of the group and the Cyclops.

"You'll know what I mean in a few days."

Jochi stands, confused, as he watches Bart leave. He's not sure if Bart thought so because of actual explanations being down there, or if his visions told him Jochi would figure it out.

He shakes his head and follows. He didn't remember Bart being so vague eight years ago - or ever, really. But he supposes people often change over time.

And he thinks he might already have an idea as to what he means.

He thinks maybe she was causing him to think so strongly on something as simple as sand and the sound of the waves. Maybe she was the tug in his bones to go with them, to journey deeper into the currents. Maybe she was the quiet voice he swears he hears sometimes, asking for something he never quite catches.

Maybe she was the answer. Maybe it was more complex than Bart makes it out to be. Maybe it was more simple.

Jochi thinks he knows what he wants to do now - what he should do.

Bart and her seem to lie at the center of it all. Jochi needs to find out _why._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me? altering canon to fit my own personal wants out of a story? its more likely than you think


	18. Day 43

_ "Come here," _

Ryley opens his eyes and he can still hear it. He's starting to get tired of this.

_ "Do not be scared. The planet welcomes you. You must be brave." _

He stretches and yawns, still half-asleep. His eyelids feel heavy, and truth be told, he'd much rather be sleeping still.

_ "You must understand. We do not have much time. You must listen. Your friends will not." _

Ryley can almost ignore it. The messages don't feel as strong anymore, dying whispers more than anything. A slight tug in his fingertips. A quiet longing.

_ "We are out of time, Robinson. They need you." _

He can't quite ignore it, though. Because the words become more desperate each time he hears them. They're starting to scare him.

He can't sleep very well anymore. He sees visions of death and feels restless grief. He can't tell if it's his own head creating them or if the voice is sending them. He can't tell if they're memories, anxieties, or warnings.

The voice goes quiet again.

Ryley wants to listen, wants to find them. But he can't go deeper, not until their equipment is upgraded more. He can't help them, not right now - and he tries desperately to convey that he will, he just needs more time.

Everytime he tries, the voice tells him they are out of it. What does that mean, he wonders. How are they out of time? Why do they need to hurry?

He told Bart of the voices, and Bart hadn't had an answer for his questions. He had told Ryley that he knew what he was causing the dreams, but nothing more important than that.

Ryley lays on the hard mattress for a few more moments, before begrudgingly standing up. His body aches and protests, and his head spins, and he has to wait for his vision to stop being blurry.

Bart would be taking the Cyclops and PRAWN suit deep into the ocean today. He can't quite remember what he called the place. He knows something about passing through a river, and the Blood Kelp.

Ryley had wanted to go, mostly just to see if he could communicate with whoever's sending him visions better. Maybe he'd figure out better where they were, or what they needed him to do.

But then he saw the look on Ozzy and Danby's faces, clearly aware that he wanted to go, and decided to stay quiet.

He stumbles a bit as the exits the room (it was supposed to Roman's, but he didn't seem to have any interest in it anymore, so Ryley and Avery shared it) and realizes the rest of the habitat is empty save for Ozzy and Danby. He can hear them talking from somewhere in an upper floor, and makes a point to try to ignore it when he catches himself about to eavesdrop.

Of course it's empty, though. Half of them were already on their way to the far northern side of the crater. Ryley wonders if it was necessary to send that many of them out, but it certainly couldn't hurt either, could it?

If he really strains, he can just manage to hear something that sounds like a Cyclops engine. They have to be there by now, right? His heart flutters a bit. Can he really hear that far away? Maybe he didn't remember what a Cyclops sounded like exactly.

He shakes his head and tries to ignore it. He also ignores his terribly itchy hands and neck. He keeps his swimsuit and gloves on way too much anymore just to try to get himself to avoid scratching at them.

And because it's not visible on his face yet, and he's certain nobody's even noticed the blisters on him yet. He doesn't want them to notice. If he can keep everyone thinking he's handling it better than usual, why wouldn't he?

They're just blisters. He only coughs sometimes. He's only picked at a certain spot on his thumb until it bled once. Twice.

He hasn't eaten in more than two days.

A few more weeks is all they need. He's fine. His back aches, and his lungs feel as if they're filled with knives, and he's dizzy and lightheaded everytime he stands. And he's doing well. He's could be considered healthy compared to some of the others.

He doesn't even realize he was still walking until he blinks and he's in the observatory again.

He found himself in it an awful lot lately. Found himself glancing at the floaters and wondering how old they were.

He finds himself looking down today, at the ocean that drops and drops into black, into a bottom he's never seen yet. And he finds himself wanting to go down there.

What's it like down there?

_ "Wonderful," _ A quiet voice supplies.  _ "If only I could show you." _

Yes, Ryley finds himself agreeing. If only.

But then he thinks about the Seamoth they still have in the front of the island, and most of the group being gone, and if he was quick he could sneak past the remaining 3 so easy - and why  _ doesn't _ he just go?

The Seamoth could go, what, 900 meters? He knew the bottom was 500. There's nothing stopping him.

He stares into the void below him for a little while longer. Stares until he thinks he sees something there, something glowing and angry, something lost and sick and dying. As soon as he thinks he can see its face, he blinks, and there's nothing but darkness again.

He hears footsteps above him, and then behind him.

"Bad idea," Avery comments, before Ryley even turns to him.

"What?"

"Bad idea. Stay here."

Ryley blinks, confused. How did he know? How could he know? Maybe it was another vision. Or dream. He's not sure of the difference anymore.

Avery takes a few more steps, until he's standing beside him. Ryley stares at him for a second, before returning his gaze to the sea.

They're both silent for a while.

"We're dying." Avery murmurs, and there's no question or hope of denial in it. He sounds like he's stating a simple truth, as if he was just telling the weather. Ryley wouldn't be able to reassure him either way.

"Everything's dying." Avery continues, and now Ryley recognizes the fear.

"We have a plan. It'll be fine." Ryley replies, because he can't help himself from trying to still their anxieties. He knows it doesn't help at all, but it has to be better than staying silent, right?

"What if we aren't?" He questions. "We don't know what this thing's doing to us, or if we can even be saved at this point. What if we're too late?"

And it hits a little close, considering his recent hearings of running out of time. Ryley tries to remember everything he knows about the Kharra. That's what Bart called it, right?

He feels a bit dizzy all of a sudden, and Avery lends a steadying hand on his shoulder. It's another oddity, and Ryley's head buzzes with questions and terrors. (or maybe it's just the sounds of all too many things at once)

Ryley blinks, and finds himself to be really tired. He was tired a lot anymore.

"Bart said it's unpredictable. That it's changing us. It's not doing that in a singular way."

Changing them. Ryley's pretty sure that's alluding to his hearing. And Bart's visions. But Ryley had them sometimes, too. None of the rest of them seemed to have anything that drastic change. Not that Ryley knew or could tell, anyway. He glances at Avery. The hand is no longer on his shoulder.

"You sound… sure of yourself."

Avery chuckles. "I think I have enough reason to."

Avery offers him a smile, and Ryley does, too.

And he almost forgets the start of the conversation, almost forgets the horrible knowledge of their situation, just because if they ignore it long enough maybe they could convince themselves they all have to get their happy endings.

"They'll be back in a couple hours," Avery says, so confident again, "They found something down there."

"How do you know that?"

"I don't know. Kharra. Something like your hearing, I think."

So it's affecting him, now. Avery said it wasn't one specific thing, though. And  _ Bart _ didn't have super-hearing to his knowledge.

"Weird," He says in a quiet reply, mostly to himself. Avery hums.

Ryley doesn't think it's anything to do with hearing at all. But Ryley thinks Avery knows that. And if he didn't give a truthful answer, then there's a reason for that, so Ryley doesn't ask him about it.

They stay in that observatory until Ryley can hear the Cyclops without trying.

 

* * *

And he was right. The Cyclops picked up a signal. Apparently Bart had never thought to bring the submarine down that far, unable to reach any more than his Seamoth could already dive.

But Bart was right. There was something down there. And they had the means to actually  _ go _ now.

_ "Then go," _ a whisper tells Ryley.  _ "Follow the flow of the tides. Follow the sound of my voice." _

He's determined to listen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ryley's off the shits!! goin fucking feral!! everyone in this fic is loosing it


	19. Day 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for all the angst so far heres the fun having fun loving chapter where everyone is like *is friends*

Ryley shifted between one leg to the other, impatience starting to get to him.

Bart was holding off going deeper for a few more days, insisting they save up food and water in case they spent a few days down there. Which, Ryley has to admit, _is_ a good idea. Who knows exactly how deep it goes? Or how long they'd be down there?

But he really wants to go right now. He wants to see what's there, wants to explore. Finds himself more and more compelled to see the ocean as each day passes.

But ensuring their safety was more important. What would it matter if they're a few days quicker if they all dehydrated and died?

Roman's saying something to him. Ryley hasn't been paying attention for… a good minute or two. He can hear a peeper a thousand kilometers away, and he _still_ can't hear someone talking right next to him.

Roman must have noticed finally, because he pauses all of a sudden and glares at Ryley.

On the Aurora, Ryley might have muttered an apology and asked him to repeat himself. On the Aurora, Roman might have sighed and oblige because he had to, to his own annoyance.

Right now, the glare doesn't seem to hold any real annoyance at all, and barely lasts a few seconds. Now, Ryley scratches his arm and feels more lightly embarrassed than anything.

"Theoretically, I've heard everything you've said in like, the last two weeks."

 _"Theoretically,"_ Roman repeats, with a thinly disguised chuckle.

Ryley rolls his eyes. Before he gets the chance for another reply, another voice cuts in.

"Hey, Ryley, Bart says he needs you for somethin'," Ozzy calls.

He turns his head towards the sound, " _Everyone_ needs me for something."

"You're a very useful person!" They retort. "And you're the only one currently on the island that can use a laser cutter without cutting a finger off."

Ryley snorts out a laugh, and turns to Roman for an apology. Roman sighs, and waves a gesture at him. "Go, I'll deal with this later."

Ozzy's already started walking away, and Ryley, well, he has a simply wonderful idea that shoots off, and right before he turns away-

"Maybe you should ask Jochi to help? He's just over that hill over there."

-he tries to say it as nonchalantly as possible, for something he feels he should make a big deal out of. Roman freezes for a second, and that split second of fear on his face is exactly _why_ Ryley wants to make a big deal out of it.

Ryley shrugs his shoulders, and Roman keeps his guard up.

"Uh- sure. I- I doubt he'd have an answer, he's not a mechanic last I checked, but if you _insist."_

"I didn't insist, I suggested-"

"I thought Bart needed something? Could be important. You should hurry."

Ryley grins, and Roman stares at him for a moment with a slightly reddened face. Then he turns and scurries off, listening to Roman mutter under his breath as he leaves.

When Ryley scuttles up to the Cyclops, Bart's sitting at the top of the submarine. He turns his head as soon as Ryley steps foot onto the sand. A moment later, he realizes Ozzy was nowhere to be found.

"What were you up to?" Bart asks him, his voice a bit quiet. Ryley heard him perfectly well regardless; Ryley assumes the others simply hadn't considered it, but Ryley feels a bit relieved by the sound being just a bit softer. Everything was loud enough as it is.

"Trying to help Roman fix a Seamoth," He responds, wading into the water.

"How'd that go?"

"Oh, perfect, we made no progress whatsoever because I got bored."

Bart laughs. Ryley smiles.

 

* * *

 

Night falls, and by the time the moon is high in the sky, none of them are sleeping, and Ryley's pacing from one stone on the beach to the next.

A small fire is lit several feet away. They don't need the light, or the warmth. He's not even sure who lit it, or if it was suggested - and he's not exactly a huge fan. But he doesn't want to complain.

So he paces. He does it enough without reason for it to go unnoticed, or at least uncared for.

He can't say it's all bad, though. Because for once, besides Milo and Emily, still absent from the island - they're all together for no reason other than the company.

They're not planning for something. They're not in a Cyclops or Seamoth on a journey. They're not prepping for some giant days long adventure.

They're just… there.

Danby was leaning on Ozzy's shoulder, and he seems tired, almost on the verge of falling asleep, but shaking himself more alert every once in a while. 

Jochi sat on a bench that had been dragged out from the habitat, Bart beside him, having been gushing about the planet for several minutes. Ryley didn't think Jochi had any true idea what he was talking about half of it, nor had as much of an interest in the wildlife, but he certainly looked enthralled.

Roman was off to the side, almost half-heartedly listening to Bart as well, while also looking for any signs of the two who had yet to arrive. Avery stood near him, watching Ryley pace with a sympathetic expression.

In fact, once Ryley notices that, he pauses in his pacing.

Then there's a quiet static in the back of his head, similar to the feeling he had right before the first message he got from… whatever sent it. He's still not sure. The fuzziness fades after a second and he does not hear anything else.

It makes him worried for a moment, but then he hears two Seamoths, and he decides to ignore it. Maybe he imagined it, or maybe he lost contact with it for a moment. Nothing else happened. It was fine.

His legs itch to keep moving, and the flickering of the fire kept him on edge, despite knowing it wasn't any danger to him or anyone else.He turns his head to watch Emily and Milo approach.

It doesn't take long to notice the few broken pieces of coral Milo's holding, as though their packs were already full. Alongside that is the smug, almost mischievous expression on Emily's face, in contrast to the tired look on Milo's. Ryley instantly assumes they're up to something. Probably mostly Emily up to something.

Roman clearly assumes the same. "Why are you smiling like that? What'd you do?"

Emily quietly gasps, as if shocked by the question. "What? I'm just happy to see you. Can't I be happy that my friends are alive and well?"

"That is not a happy smile, that is a 'up-to-something' smile."

She rolls her eyes. "I'm being one hundred percent honest with you, I have done nothing, and I plan on doing nothing. _I_ have _news."_

She sounds so pleased with herself that Ryley still doesn't believe she's not planning something. He glances over to Milo, still standing beside her, and his arms are crossed while he stares at his feet.

Roman squints his eyes as his gaze flickers between the two of them.

"What _kind_ of news?" Ozzy pipes up.

Instantly, Emily shoots a hand out to Milo's neck. He squawks and bats it away, stepping out of range. Ryley blinks, thoroughly confused for a moment, before noticing the faint bluish glow at the area. It fades after a few moments, leaving no trace it was there at all.

"You can glow now?" Jochi asks, a hint of both humor and concern in his voice.

"This is the worst thing to ever happen to me," Milo groans, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. The palm of his hand comes back with the same faint hue.

"This is the _best thing_ to ever happen to us!" Emily counters. "We don't have to waste time with flashlights anymore! You're a glowstick! That's my new nickname for you. Hope you like it."

Milo rolls his eyes and sighs, but doesn't say anything to object.

"How long has that been happening?" Keen asks.

"Uh… about thirty minutes ago? We were on our way back." Milo mutters.

Ryley hears a hum from Bart. "It only activates with touch." It sounded more like a statement than a question, already aware of the answer, it seemed.

"Yeah," Milo answers anyway. "Unfortunate for me."

Bart is quiet for a second. "It'll go away when we cure the Kharra."

He doesn't quite sound like he believes so. Ryley thinks it sounds an awful lot like an empty promise.

The others don't seem to catch it, though, and Milo looks reassured. Ryley's starting to feel remorse for him; he remembers when his hearing first started just how terrifying and uncomfortable it was. He was only just starting to get used to it.

"We better be dealing with that soon," Emily starts, throwing a bag down near the fire. It flickers up a bit higher, and Ryley startles, panicked for a moment, before calming his own heart. "Because we picked up enough coral and salt for maybe four dozen water bottles."

Ryley holds his breath as he glances at Bart, shifting between his two legs again, impatience taking hold of him. Maybe Bart's more worried now that Milo's showing more signs of the disease, or maybe he's just in a good mood, because he shrugs his shoulders.

"We still need to charge the power cells. We can leave tomorrow."

A burst of excitement surged through Ryley, fueling his impatience even further. But at least there wasn't much left to wait. Less than a day, and he'd be back in the water, they'd actually be _doing_ something.

Emily sits herself down in the sand, and after a moment, Milo follows, sticking beside her. He sits his bag beside him, and places the few coral samples he was holding down on top.

Roman starts fidgeting, as though he had only been standing to look for Emily and Milo. He glances over at Ryley, who stares back, before Roman sighs almost silently and shifts his gaze to Jochi. Ryley suddenly realizes the debate going on in his head.

Then, with a wildly thumping heart, Roman walks over and sits on the bench beside him. Jochi seems mildly surprised, but Roman glances around, as if expecting challenge.

His move was unacknowledged, beside a smirk from Emily, that disappears when Roman's gaze flickers to her for a moment longer than the rest of the group. She averts her gaze to Bart and asks him to talk about the Crabsquids; who hesitates before obliging.

Ryley considers the almost embarrassed way he starts giving his knowledge on the Crabsquids compared to the way he had just been throwing information at Jochi a few minutes beforehand, and fondness for the Torgal surges through him.

Roman seems to relax after a few moments, and Ryley can practically hear the weight on his shoulders being lifted.

Ryley nearly jumps when he suddenly realizes that Avery had also moved, and was standing a fair bit close beside him. Avery upturns his lips for an apologetic smile, and Ryley finds himself a bit flustered. He quickly turns his head back towards the group, listening to Bart's ramblings once again, trying to convince the heat on his face to vanish.

He's not sure if he's very successful, but his head seems convinced that listening to the fascinated bubbling from Bart while standing close enough to Avery he can hear his heartbeat without trying is a pretty good way to calm his nerves.

For the first time since he awoke from his lifepod, he finds himself fully content.

 

* * *

 

A long while passes, and at some point Ryley ends up sitting on the sand, too - Avery still beside him.

They all end up falling quiet, the only real sounds from nearby being the campfire and the waves. Ryley finally starts to feel a bit tired, but he's still a bit too antsy to be able to fall asleep.

A bit out of nowhere, Ryley hears a heartbeat pick up, and turns his gaze back to Roman again. He's staring at Bart as if a question's on his mind, but he was hesitant to voice it.

He must have made up his mind, as a few seconds later, barely louder than a whisper: "Bart?"

"Hm?"

"Can I ask a maybe personal question?"

Bart's silent for a second. "Do I have to answer it?"

"Not if you don't want to,"

There's another moment of silence, before Bart murmurs agreement.

"In one of your PDAs we found, you… you were talking about returning from the deep reef. You were talking as if you were dying. As if you accepted it. But you're still here. What happened?"

Ryley blinks. He hasn't ever heard any of Bart's PDA entries. Has barely done more than listen in on a few entries when Emily was listening to them a couple days ago. Did he really write one thinking he was dying?

Bart doesn't answer right away. Stares at his hands, and Ryley realizes they're shaking a bit.

"The visions, mostly. Most of them were of deaths, and the ships being shot down. Freaked me out at first, and all the other visions I had before then had ended up happening. But then I had one with actual survivors in it,"

"Us?" Danby muses, and Ryley honestly didn't even realize he was still awake or paying attention. Bart nods.

"Everything else I did never stopped the visions from happening before, so I figured that those ones had to happen as well. I didn't want the few remaining people to end up dying, so I waited until the Aurora showed up so I could help."

"... What would have happened if you hadn't seen us?"

Bart shrugs. "Might have ended up living until it happened anyway. Probably would have just locked myself in that observatory until the Kharra got me. That was the initial plan."

Ryley's heart aches a bit just at the thought. He wonders how many more of them would have died without Bart's help, and it aches more.

"Good thing something kept you going," Jochi adds, and Ryley feels a bit sick at the thought, but _he_ looks crushed. As if he was grieving over a version of Bart that had stayed in the observatory. As if the mere idea of Bart not being beside him right then caused physical pain.

Jochi wouldn't have lasted more than a few minutes without Bart, with how his lifepod landed, would he? _Best_ case scenario he'd have _drowned._

Ryley doesn't think the implication of his own death plays much of a role in Jochi's words, though. He's not sure if he even considered what would have happened to him.

"Of course you'd say that," Bart replies, almost affectionately. Almost as if the reason _why_ he said it had already been forgotten.

They fall into a quiet again, but Ryley feels more unsettled this time.

Danby's the next one to start talking again.

"You've been here eight years. What do you plan to do when you get back?... How does someone even- go back to what they were doing after that much time?"

Bart's quiet a little bit longer before replying this time.

He shrugs. "I don't know. I haven't thought about it."

The words feel sharp, a stark difference between the last things he'd been saying. Ryley feels more unsettled.

"You haven't?" Danby asks. "At all?"

"No."

Ryley stares at Bart for a long moment, trying to find where exactly the question upset him. Even Ryley himself has thought about what would happen to them, or what he'd do, and he's barely been here more than a month. How could have just… _never_ thought about it?

Ryley doesn't even think he sounds like he's lying.

He's never considered his life beyond 4546B.

Maybe he still thinks he's not going to make it beyond 4546B, is all Ryley can come up with for a reason why. But he knew about the Aurora for eight years. Had he really not expected to leave with them despite all the time he's put into helping them?

Ryley stares a little longer, tries to look a little harder, trying to find any inkling of hope at all in the Torgal, any sign that he thinks he'll live longer than another two weeks, but Ryley just cannot tell with him.

The peaceful night that it had once been feels off now. Feels scary. Unknown.

Ryley tries to push the feeling away. They'd have the cure within the week, if they were leaving tomorrow. Bart might've just been too caught up in keeping himself and the others alive to bother. They'd all be alive and well soon.

The anxious feeling in his gut does not leave.

The fire flickers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be the fun loving fun having chapter but i. i got a little carried away at the end and made it kind of angsty. IN MY DEFENSE, bart is Very Traumatised. and so is basically everyone. bc who WOULDNT be after the shit they've been through. so i forgot this was supposed to be a happy chapter sjcbskvdjajd next one will be STRICTLY FUN TIMES i promise


	20. Day 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh?? me updating two days in a row?? damn....y'all motivate me 😖👌
> 
> ALSO i know i said this would be a happy chapter but this fic is only vaguely outlined so i make up most of it on the spot and it. DIDNT END UP SUPER HAPPY. but it's not TOO angsty so hopefully its good enough akfbakfbkabd

Truth be told, Avery barely slept that night. His entire body itches, his throat burns, he's never felt so awful in his life.

He awakens for maybe the third time when it's still dark out, but light enough that he's sure the sun's about to rise.

He turns his head, and across the room, Ryley's no longer lying in his bed. A pillow is on the floor, alongside half of the blankets, as if he had left in a rush. Ryley already had no habit whatsoever when it came to fixing his bed, and to be fair, Avery's certain all of them have woken up with a need to vomit.

But Avery already knows at this point he won't be able to fall asleep, so as quietly as possible, he makes his way through the habitat until he's outside.

The cool air feels nice against his skin. He always feels burning anymore. He notes that it's windier than usual, and dark clouds dot along the sky.

In a way he can't quite explain yet, he treks the terrain to exactly where he knows Ryley's at. A pull that tells him where to go.

When he does find him, he's not alone.

Bart was beside him, the two sitting on a grassy ledge that drops a meter or two to the sand below. Ryley was murmuring something that Avery couldn't pick up, but he sounded worried.

Then he freezes, and turns his head to look exactly at Avery. He takes a step forward, just to make himself more visible beyond the tree line. Bart turns to glance back as well.

Avery notices his face is red, and his eyes look a little swollen. He feels a burst of empathy.

Ryley glances over at Bart for a moment, then gestures to Avery. He hesitates, then walks over and sits beside Bart.

"... Are you okay?" He asks him, his gaze flicking between the two on his left.

"You all ask that a lot," Bart replies, avoiding the question as much as he avoiding his gaze.

"You don't look okay."

Bart chuckles, albeit humorlessly. "Do any of us  _ look _ okay?"

Avery doesn't have a response to that. Ryley doesn't seem to either, as he stays quiet. Avery turns his attention to him, hoping he had answers. But when Ryley glances at him, he looks helpless, unsure of what to do or what to say.

"I'm going to assume you don't want to talk about it then?" Avery says, a bit more of a question than anything, still trying to understand what's going on.

Bart doesn't seem to acknowledge that he said anything at first, then drags his knees a little closer to his body and hides his head. "I don't know what I want."

Avery nods, more to himself than to Bart.

Ryley nudges his shoulder. "That's okay," He reassures, his voice a bit shaky.

Avery isn't sure about how to proceed. Reasons that if Bart had anything he wanted to say, he'd choose to do so in his own time. Reasons that the best thing he could do is just be beside him.

So he stays and watches the sun rise. Watches the clouds slowly cover it as the wind picks up. At least they'd be underwater before much longer. They should be fine on the route to the river.

Ryley stays, too. Talks on and on, various stories, in either an attempt to distract or comfort.

Eventually silence falls between the three of them. It lasts a few minutes. Avery thinks he hears thunder crackling in the distance. The weather was fine when he was on the Sunbeam; why did it seem so terrible all the time lately?

Bart shifts a bit, and Avery can see his face clearly again. He looks a bit more calm now - but a grimace was still worn on his face.

"Had another panic attack, I think." Bart mutters, almost as if he was afraid to admit it.

Avery hums, and feels a stab of remorse in his chest. He was barely sure what panic attacks  _ were _ two weeks ago. How often did he deal with them before the Aurora crew showed up?

"Are you okay now?"

Bart nods. "Pretty sure. Just… had a shitty dream."

The curse sounds strange coming from him.

"Dream or vision?" Ryley asks.

"Definitely dream," Bart answers. "Something that already happened. Years ago. Couldn't have been a vision."

"Oh,"

Avery has an inkling of a feeling that he knows what that dream was about.

"Roman told me they've already gathered most of the materials for the rocket," Bart continues meekly, "We can start building it once we get back. Finally have a chance to leave."

"You… don't sound very excited." Avery points out.

Bart remains quiet for a long moment. Avery thinks he's considering his next words very carefully. Worried about saying the wrong thing. As if he  _ could _ say anything wrong right now.

"Wish they were here, too," He eventually breathes out.

"They?" Ryley cuts in, confused.

"Marguerit," And after a brief pause, "My father."

Silence stretches out for a moment.

"I really miss them."

Avery feels his chest ache a bit, and he's not sure he can relate that much at all. He moves himself a bit closer, until their knees touch. "I think they'd be proud you made it this far."

The three of them sit like that for what feels like hours.

 

* * *

 

"It's not  _ necessary, _ is it?"

Avery hides beneath the leaves of a tree, sheltering from the slowly trickling rain.

"No. But it's dangerous down there, and we don't know what'll happen. Better to be safe than sorry."

Ryley stands beside him, the two watching Jochi and Bart argue. Bart was insisting on gathering extra titanium for a habitat, should they need a quick place to rest. Avery assumes he's worried about their Cyclops being destroyed.

"I'll give you that it could be a good idea," Jochi groans, "But  _ why _ do you have to go near the  _ Aurora?" _

"I won't go near the leviathans! It's the best place to look for salvage!"

"It's  _ dangerous. _ How many times are you going to disappear on your own? How many times are you going to make me think you won't come back?"

Bart hesitates with that, and looks guilty at the accusation.

"Oh, just have someone go with him!" Emily adds in, yelling from somewhere Avery can't see. Jochi glances at the direction in came in and looks faintly annoyed.

"Fine. Take me with you."

"What? No! You said yourself that it's dangerous, you're not going."

"That's not even fair! Why can you put yourself in danger and I can't?"

Avery rolls his eyes and sighs. "I'll go, both of you stop it."

Bart turns his head to him, looking surprised. "Really?"

"I'd do anything to make you stop and get out of this rain,"

Jochi still looks doubtful, but relents with a sigh. "... Don't get too close to the ship, at least."

"Of course," Bart replies, looking pleased with himself.

"And be back by noon!" Jochi calls after them as they walk away. Bart rolls his eyes, but Avery spots a small smile on his lips.

"He acts like he's your dad," Avery quietly observes once they're out of earshot. Bart shoots him a look.

"He acts like that to everyone, don't go thinking I'm special." Bart says humorously, with a snort, but Avery finds the words a little sad. He offers a small smile instead.

As they're wading through the water to reach the Seamoths just beyond the edge of the island, Avery turns his head at the sound of another pair of footsteps. Ryley stood behind them, a nervous expression his face.

"Hi," Ryley starts.

Avery blinks. "Hi."

"Uh," Ryley stutters, bouncing from one leg to the other, "The last time we went near there, it didn't go very well. Are you sure you should go near it again?"

"Would you rather us spend hours looking through deposits or hoping for pieces of scrap, or spend thirty minutes at the Aurora and be on our way within an hour?" Bart asks. When Ryley doesn't answer, he continues, more softly, "The leviathans stick to their territories, we won't go near them. It'll be fine. You can keep an ear out."

Ryley remains silent for another second, then nods. "Okay. Just, I…" he swallows, and shakes his head, "Just be safe."

Avery offers him a reassuring smile, and reaches an arm out to pat his shoulder. Ryley leans a bit into the touch. "I know you're worried, but it'll be fine. Nothing but sandsharks where we're goin',"

Ryley takes a step back, and then Avery and Bart climb into the Seamoths.

"You're all so paranoid," Bart points out over the comm link. Avery snickers.

"Can you blame us?"

Bart laughs, and the two make their way to the shallows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i always forget to bring titanium w me and build a cool base at the cove tree... in my current save im about to bring my prawn down there. hopefully writing this helps me REMEMBER THIS TIME. FUTURE SELF BRING SOME GODDAMN TITANIUM W YOU!!
> 
> also ryley and bart in this chapter b like: oh fuck that was close. nearly showed feelings.


	21. Day 47 (here we go again)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LONG CHAPTER TIME BABY

Ryley had been keeping an eye on them. Listened to the Seamoths, listened to their voices, as long as he could.

But eventually they drove too far, and it jumbled into the rest of the ocean. Became background noise that he couldn't tell from a bladderfish or a boneshark.

He could try all he wanted, but he lost track of them. But it had only been, what, fifteen minutes? They'd be on their way back soon anyway.

He shakes his head, and helps the others carry supplies to the Cyclops.

 

* * *

 

It's sometime after that that Ryley starts getting antsy again. Milo's started pacing a bit, but it seems to stem from impatience than worry.

Ryley glances at the sky. The rain had stopped falling for the moment, but it'd likely return soon. He could just vaguely see brightness behind the clouds. Then he ends up looking directly into the sun. He winced and moves his gaze away, rubbing at his eyes.

When he blinks them open again, Ozzy's staring at him, with an exaggerated expression of disappointment.

Ryley blinks. "What?"

"I can't believe we ever trusted you with a  _ laser cutter," _

"This- this was an accident! I don't  _ usually _ do that."

"Oh, I'm sure," Ozzy agrees with a laugh. "You just  _ sometimes _ look directly into the sun. Only  _ sometimes, _ though."

"Exactly!" Ryley replies, then pauses. "Wait, you're making fun of me, aren't you?"

Ozzy laughs again, and Ryley can't just  _ not _ join them, so he ends up snickering along, too.

 

* * *

 

Ryley isn't exactly sure how much time has passed. But the sun's definitely in the middle of the sky now (and no, Ryley  _ didn't _ almost blind himself checking this time) and they're all still waiting.

Ryley still can't hear them at all. Where could they possibly be?

"I bet this was all a joke on us. I bet they're out there fucking."

Ryley snaps out of his thoughts and turns his head to Emily.

"Really?" Milo asks. "We're about to risk all of our lives in an effort to get a cure for an alien disease and you think that out of all the things they could be doing right now, it's  _ fucking?" _

"Yep. I'm positive one of the bottles of lube has also vanished, so…"

Milo stares at her incredulously.

"What, are you keeping track of how much lube we have?" Ozzy muses. "Wait, why would we even have multiple bottles? How does that help us at all?"

"We destroy an awful lot of Seamoths," Roman points out.

"No no, ignore that," Danby cuts in, "Let's go back to the first question. How  _ would _ you know exactly how much we have to know if any's gone missing, Emily?"

She glares at him. "I don't  _ actually _ know, I was just- exaggerating."

_ "Really?" _

"Fuck you."

"Clearly someone's  _ already _ trying to fuck Yu." Ozzy murmurs to Ryley, who laughs at the comment. He tries to bite his tongue when Emily turns her glare to him, and has to hide his smile behind a hand.

"You're all terrible," Roman comments, monotonously.

 

* * *

 

"We should take the Cyclops out and look for them," Jochi suggests, as another hour passes.

"It's too difficult to pilot alone," Roman argues, but his voice is soft. "We won't get anywhere, and we can't risk losing the Cyclops."

"Don't we have any more Seamoths?" Milo asks. "Surely Bart has a few nearby?"

Roman shrugs. "Something was built near where I crashed, but I didn't see anything outside it. Didn't have a moonpool, either."

Ryley wracks his brain. "What about the mushroom forest? He left those three down there, didn't he?"

"The mushroom forest is almost two thousand meters away, and more than two hundred meters deep!" Emily counters. "We can't swim there without even a Seaglide. We'll  _ drown, _ best case scenario."

"What if they're in danger? Or hurt?" Jochi asks. "Shouldn't we at least try?"

Nobody says anything in defense of him. Ryley wonders how long it'll take to swim that far. Could they make it there and back before nightfall? He didn't want to go off near the Aurora in the dark. He didn't want Avery or Bart to be stuck near the Aurora in the dark, either.

"Give them some more time," Roman says, but it sounds a bit more desperate than Ryley thinks he hoped for.

Just a little while longer, Ryley tells himself.

 

* * *

 

Most of them have retreated back to the habitat by the time it starts to rain again. Ryley stays outside, trying to find any trace of the two Seamoths before the rain gets too loud.

Jochi and Roman are the only two still with him. Jochi looks on the cusp of panic, and Roman keeps trying to reassure him to little avail. Ryley feels guilty listening to the exchange.

He wants to tell Jochi he hears them, that they're on their way, that everything's fine. But the lie wouldn't be believable for more than an hour, and he doesn't want to tell a flimsy lie.

He keeps quiet and strains his ears as much as possible. He hears nothing that means anything.

"They probably didn't go to the Aurora at all," Roman reasons. "That's what's taking so long. They just don't know where to look, and it's taking longer than they thought. Perfectly reasonable."

Ryley finds it to be a good theory. He wouldn't be able to hear them even if they didn't go to the ship. They've gotta be fine.

After a while, the rain and wind's kicking up, and he's freezing, and he can hear Jochi's teeth chattering. His fingertips burn a bit.

Roman ushers them back to the habitat, despite their protests.

It's still a bit cold in the habitat. But Ozzy and Danby cuddle up to him, and warmth returns to him. He drags a hand through his hair, disappointed at the lack of gel. It lays mostly flat against his head anymore. The blue streaks were fading a bit, too.

It's such a small detail, something insignificant considering their situation. It's somehow the thing that makes his heart begin sinking, makes anxieties and doubts fill his head.

He tries listening for them again, until his ears hurt and his head aches and it all feels too much and he covers his head with his arms in an attempt to muffle anything at all.

The feeling fades after a while. He's sure exactly how long. But Jochi's still freaking out. Even Emily seems to be starting to worry.

Against his better judgment, Ryley reaches out his senses again, and tries to focus on anything that resembles an engine, or a voice, or a mix of the two.

He hears a lot of rain. A lot of thunder. A lot of crashing waves.

He hears a Seamoth hatch opening and closing. Hears coughing against the rain.

He freezes for a moment, then promptly gets to his feet and makes for the habitat's hatch. Danby calls after him.

"Ryley, get back here!" Ozzy calls as well.

Ryley doesn't listen. He's not sure whether he wants to cry when he sees them, or punch the both of them in the face, but he's not stopping now. His feet won't stop moving until he sees them both.

Then he hears Danby calling after Ozzy, too, and there's another set of footsteps following closely after him.

Ozzy calls his name, and Ryley doesn't slow down. He slips a bit on mud, has to shoot out a hand to balance himself on a tree, before pushing himself forward.

As he races through the pelting rain, he listens forward again, and frowns. Confused. He finally pauses once he's past the trees, and can see the ocean clearly. He freezes.

Ozzy finally catches up to him.

"Ryley! What the hell was tha- holy  _ shit." _

Avery was collapsed on the sand, diving suit torn in various places. An entire arm sleeve was gone on one side. Only one side of his face was visible from how he was lying, and it was coated in blood. There's nothing but a hole where his eye used to be. Blood smeared the rest of his body and the ground around him.

Bart was nowhere to be found.

Ryley has no idea what to do for a second, simply freezing in place. Then he's moving without any conscious decision to do so, and he's crouching down beside him.

"Avery?" He tries, his voice weak. He reaches an arm down, but he's afraid of hurting him more, and hesitates. "Avery,  _ please _ say something," He pleads.

He groans, and moves his head a bit with a wince.

"What do we do?" Ozzy whispers from across him. Ryley notices they're shaking a bit.

"I-" Ryley starts, and his mind is racing. He can't hear Bart anywhere, he's terrified of listening to Avery's, he doesn't  _ know _ what to do- "We need to get him to- to the habitat. Go get the others."

Ozzy nods and then they're gone. Ryley hears their racing footsteps for a moment before shifting his attention back to Avery. He pushes his fears of hurting him aside, and tries to scoop him up in a way that would help him move him.

Avery still wasn't unconscious. He didn't seem to be all there either, but he was still awake. He must realize what Ryley's trying to do, because he pushes himself up a bit before his arm gives in and Ryley has to hold him up.

"What the  _ fuck _ happened to you?" Ryley asks, panic gripping his stomach. Avery coughs, and blood leaves his mouth. It just makes Ryley more terrified.

"We didn't listen," Avery murmurs, "got.. too close to the back of the ship,"

Ryley winces. "Can you stand?"

Avery blinks - and yeah, that bloodied hole in his face  _ was _ his eye - "I don't- no, can barely feel my toes."

Ryley swallows. "Where's Bart?"

Avery's silent for a second. Ryley can't move him, he has to wait for the others to get here - he can hear them now-

"Avery?"

Avery shakes his head. "I wasn't- I wasn't paying attention. He warned me and I didn't-  _ you _ warned us and we didn't listen-"

"Is he hurt? Someone should go find him. I'll look for him once you're back at the base. Did you both get attacked? Where-"

"He's  _ dead, _ Ryley." Avery croaks.

Ryley freezes, and looks at Avery. Tries to catch his eye. Wills himself to have heard incorrectly.

"He's- what?"

Avery doesn't get a chance to reply again before a voice is shouting nearby. Ryley thinks it sounds muffled. How could it sound muffled?

Roman's crouching beside the two of them now, and Ryley thinks he's the only calm one. There's a layer of panic on his face, just almost hidden.

Ryley glances up at Danby, standing just a bit behind Roman. "What do we do?"

Danby flickers his gaze to him. His mouth opens and closes without sound for a few moments. "I don't…"

_ Don't what? _ Ryley screams in his head.  _ Why aren't you doing something? _

"Danby, he'll die," Emily speaks up, her voice tight. "Don't freak out right now."

"I'm  _ not _ freaking out," Danby answers in a small voice. "I- I don't know what to do."

"We can deal with this once we're inside." Roman snaps. "Ryley, help me carry him."

As they're standing up, Jochi takes a step forward. "Wait, where's Bart?"

"I said once we're inside," Roman answers, and Ryley keeps his jaws firmly shut. Jochi looks scared, and angry, and Milo pushes him back to the habitat. Ryley's head reels.

Only once they're out of the rain does Ryley truly notice how cold and sticky Avery is. Blood covers nearly every visible piece of skin. Some of it could almost be described as dried.

They sit him on one of the beds, and Danby's pacing behind them. Ozzy's trying to calm him, but an air of panic surrounds all of them, and nobody's successfully helping any others.

"Danby," Roman calls without removing his gaze from one half of Avery's face, "Think. What do we do?"

Danby paces for a few more moments. "Uh- we- clean the wound and disinfect it?"

"Okay," Roman breathes, "That's a start. Where are our medkits?"

Emily steps into the room. "Got one here."

Ryley's heart and mind is going into overdrive. At least they have a plan. Avery would be fine. He had to be fine.

He can't lose another friend. He  _ can't. _

"Alright, perfect, situation is getting under control," Jochi cuts in, "Can I ask again where the hell Bart is?"

Avery's just barely hanging onto consciousness. He doesn't seem to hear the question.

"We can ask again later," Emily replies to him. Jochi considers the words for a moment, then turns his gaze to Ryley.

"Did he tell you anything?"

Ryley feels a wave of nausea wash over him. Keeps his head turned firmly away from eyes scorching into his head. Considers his options.

"Did he?" Jochi repeats, and he sounds near hysterical at this point, and Ryley want to tell him Avery told him nothing at all-

But then he'd be forcing Avery to tell the rest of them. After living through it.

Ryley's hands shake. Watches Roman, Danby, and Emily attempt to wipe as much blood off Avery as they could.

"He-" Ryley's voice cracks, and he pauses to try to control the lump in his throat, has no idea how to word it, "He said Bart's dead."

Bart's dead. Repeating the words makes them real.

The room goes completely silent.

Ryley can't force himself to look at anyone.

Then there's footsteps, storming out of the room, and Milo calls Jochi's name. Roman turns his head and watches him leave. Roman's gaze turns to Ryley for a moment, and then to Milo.

"Can you come help with this? I'll go bring Jochi back."

Milo murmurs an agreement, and then Roman's gone almost as fast as Jochi. Milo takes his spot. Ryley sits beside them, feeling useless, feeling scared. His head feels blank.

How did this happen? Why did this happen? Everything was going great, they were doing great. Why did this have to happen to them?

His head ends up drifting to Roman and Jochi. Ryley winces when he realizes Jochi's trying to get in the Seamoth, insisting he had to find Bart.

His heart stings when Jochi refers to Bart as his son. Tells Roman he has to find his son. Bart had told him once they knew each other since he was young. Did Jochi truly have that kind of role in his life?

Roman holds him back, and apologizes, and Ryley can hear the grief in his voice, as if he were sharing Jochi's misery.

Ryley wants to pretend none of this happening. Wants to believe this is just another terrifyingly real nightmares, another dream, all in his head.

Jochi collapses in the sand. Lets out an anguished scream. Ryley doesn't need to focus to hear it. Milo flinches from beside him, Emily pauses, Danby glances over his shoulder.

How can this be happening?

He feels lightheaded. Feels sick. His head is stuck on blood and words he never wanted to hear.

_ How can this be happening? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh. whoops my hand slipped


	22. Day 47 (lot happened on day 47 give me a break)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok this is a direct follow-up to last chapter and it's REALLY SHORT. so im just gonna....throw these two together at the same time!

He was supposed to be the captain. They were supposed to be his responsibility. They were supposed to be fine, supposed to be at the lost river by now.

Instead, he’s sitting out in the rain, trying to console Jochi. Instead of being in the river, Avery’s sitting in a room, half-dead from what Roman can only assume was a reaper. And Bart was dead.

Roman isn’t sure exactly how to feel about that. He just feels… numb. Almost used to the death by now. Almost starting to believe they never had a chance to escape at all.

He almost doesn’t feel the rain or wind anymore. His head swirls with questions and the rest of his attention is to Jochi. Tightens his hold on him. Jochi sobs, and the numbness Roman thought he was feeling vanishes, and he’s left feeling miserable and torn.

“I’m sorry,” Roman whispers, his voice hoarse.

Jochi doesn’t respond.

 

* * *

 

It takes nearly an hour to convince him to go back to the habitat. The rain hasn’t slowed at all, and Roman feels cold to his bones, but that feels insignificant, all things considered. Usually, he thinks Jochi would’ve been complaining about it. He wonders if Jochi even realizes it right now.

Roman wants to see Avery, wants to check on the others. But he questions whether taking Jochi back is a good idea, and he’d rather not leave his side right now. They stay on the other side of the habitat, nothing but a room of chairs and tables and growbeds, and Roman tries his best.

But what does he know? How can he possibly be any help right now? He doesn’t know what the others are going through exactly, he doesn’t know what he feels _himself_ right now.

The two of them sit there in near silence for a long while.

When Roman finally hears a noise that’s different from the sound of breathing or muffled voices from across the habitat, he turns his head towards it. He spots Danby standing at the doorway, fiddling with his hands. Jochi keeps his head buried in his hands.

“Do you… do you have a minute?” Danby asks, his voice quiet.

Roman glances at Jochi, sitting on the floor beside him, and lets out a breath. “Sure,”

He gets to his feet, watching Jochi the entire time, before shakily making his way towards Danby. The two stay close to the doorway anyway.

“How’s Avery?” Roman asks.

“He’s… alive,” Danby answers with a wince. “He’s lost a lot of blood, and he’s lost an eye, and he’s a bit delirious. Passed out a little bit ago. But he’s alive, and he’s not getting worst so far.”

Roman nods, but he’s not sure he feels all that better with the news at all.

"But," Danby continues, a small bit quieter than before, and if he were any quieter Roman's not sure he'd be able to hear him at all, "The Kharra seems to starting to affect him the same way it did with me. As in progressing really fast in a really short time frame."

"Why?"

Danby shrugs. "Injuries exposed to the water, whatever attacked him could have been infected, too."

Roman's silent for a moment, thinking. "We need the cure." Danby nods.

"Fairly quickly, I worry,"

The two of them fall quiet, and Roman's head just feels worse and worse. He tries to come up with any plan at all, and he's starting to wonder if he's even capable of coming up with a garbage one.

Then he sighs again, and rubs at his temple. "..Okay." He breathes out. "I'll think of something."

"Alright."

There's another pause, where Roman was expecting Danby to walk away, but he hesitates for a moment, and Roman glances up at him. He doesn't appear to be reassured at all. "Are you okay?"

Roman pauses. Was he? He didn't know. He bites his cheek. "I… have work to do."

He turns, and walks back towards Jochi.

Danby doesn't call after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont even have anything to SAY about this chapter akfbakfbja.
> 
> update since last end note: built that base in the cove tree! didn't prepare v well so it's just one room w a hatch and it has a fabricator in it. but it's powered and it's there! gonna stop by it and try to build on some more as im bringing my cyclops up from the lava lakes :o
> 
> ok that's all hope y'all are enjoying the fic so far i promise it gets happy by the end


	23. Day 47 (last time i promise)

Milo paces the floor, clenching and unclenching his fists. Emily watches him, and Milo really wishes she'd either leave or say something.

"What if he's wrong?" Milo asks, mostly to himself. Nobody's been answering to anything he says. "Clearly he _ran away._ How would he know?"

There's still nothing but silence in the room. Milo stops pacing, and glances to Emily. She meets his gaze for a second, and then turns away. Milo feels more frustrated.

"I'm going to look for him."

"Milo, don't." Emily pleads.

"What are you going to do to stop me?"

She doesn't reply again. Nobody looks at him. Nobody says anything.

Milo storms out of the room, and nobody follows him.

He walks out into the rain, and it barely slows him. He slides down a cliff to the abandoned Seamoth. Some blood still sticks to the ground, and Milo strictly ignores it.

Climbing in, there's more blood on the inside. Milo's stomach flips, and he briefly stares at his fingertips, covered in red just from sitting down. He rips his gaze away, and turns the Seamoth around.

It's hard to see more than a meter in front of him, it's so dark. He follows the roars once he gets close enough to the ship. Stops the Seamoth somewhere in the shallows leading to the side of the ship, takes a deep breath, and hops out into the water.

He swims forward a few seconds, and pauses.

Beneath him lays a destroyed Seaglide, and a repair tool. A shattered PDA was half-covered in the sand. They must have been attacked there.

Milo glances around, but nothing else remains. No other items, no second PDA, no pieces of Seamoth.

The roars get a little louder, and Milo sees a flash of red beyond a hill of sand.

He gets back in the Seamoth, and with a sigh that lacks his prior frustration, turns back and speeds to the island.

Nothing chases him.

 

* * *

 

When he gets back, Emily and Ozzy are standing at the shore. Ozzy glares daggers into him, and Emily just looks… upset.

"What?" Milo asks as he approaches them.

"We didn't think you were _actually going to leave!"_ Ozzy snaps. Milo blinks.

"Why not?"

"You could have died! Why would _anyone_ in their right mind go there alone at night, especially after what just happened?!"

Milo shrugs, all of his previous anger seemingly vanishing.

"Was it worth it? Did you find _anything_ that's going to make you feel _any_ better?"

Milo doesn't even want to be arguing anymore. Dried blood still sticks to his hands, and he's not sure he's ever going to be to rid himself of the feeling. He crosses his arms, just to hide his hands.

Ozzy stares at him for another few seconds, and then their gaze softens. They turn their head to stare at the sand.

Emily sighs. "Look, just… I know we should have stopped you from going. _I_ should have. Please don't run off on your own again."

Her voice is tired and a bit croaky. If Milo hadn't started feeling guilty before, he definitely does now.

"Yeah," Milo sighs. "Sorry."

He starts walking back to the habitat, Emily and Ozzy following beside him.

"... _Did_ you find something?" Ozzy asks. Milo shakes his head.

"Not unless you count Avery's PDA and seaglide as something."

Ozzy nods, though they look distracted. "Uh. Sorry for yelling at you. You freaked us the hell out, and I'm tired of losing friends."

Milo isn't quite sure how to respond. He swallows back a lump forming in his throat. "Yeah, I know."

Everyone back at the habitat aren't pleased with him, either. Milo guess he should have anticipated that. Roman is particular scolds him. Milo wonders how much of his words are because they're friends, or because he's still trying to be their boss.

Ryley and Danby don't yell at him, at least. Danby just appears relieved he's returned, and Ryley simply greets him.

"Did you find anything?" Jochi asks, his voice scratchy. Milo hesitates before recounting.

"I know the leviathans are powerful," Danby starts, after Milo falls quiet, "but is that… really all that's left? Not even any Seamoth pieces?"

Milo shakes his head. Jochi stares at Danby for a few moments, and then turns back to Milo. "Not any signs of a destroyed Seamoth at all?"

Milo blinks. "Uh, no… why?"

"What if he escaped? What if he's hiding in one of his other bases? He might be on his way back now."

Roman winces. "And what if the reaper just ate the Seamoth? One attempted to destroy Micah's lifepod that way."

"Tried to destroy it, exactly," Jochi counters. "It didn't try to _eat it,_ it was trying to get to _him._ It wouldn't eat the Seamoth."

"What if it just brought the Seamoth deeper into its territory where he didn't explore?"

Jochi shakes his head. "He's survived attacks like these for eight years. Why would he not be able to escape them _now?"_

"Because he was looking after someone else."

Jochi still doesn't look convinced. Milo's not sure if he wants to believe him, or if he should think Jochi's clinging to any theory he can to convince himself Bart's still out there. Milo wants Bart to still be alive.

But Avery was nearly torn to pieces, nearly killed. How could Bart have gotten away much better? And if he had similar injuries, how long could he possibly last?

"What's the plan now? Wait and hope for the best?" Milo asks, not wanting to talk about the Torgal any longer.

Roman crosses his arms. "We wait until Avery's well enough, and then he'll help me pilot the Cyclops into the river. Hopefully we can figure out the directions on our own."

Ryley blinks. "The Kharra's just making Avery _worst._ We can't wait it out, we need to get the cure now."

"None of the rest of you can pilot a Cyclops, and I can't do it alone. What other choice do we have?"

"Take the Prawn suit down?"

Roman scoffs. "Nobody is taking the Prawn there alone. We don't know what's down there. The Cyclops is the safest bet."

"It's not the safest if we wait until most of us are _half dead_ before we decide to use it."

Milo glances between the two. Ryley actually looks… angry. Milo's never seen him beyond mildly frustrated, maybe.

"We're waiting. That's the end of it."

"Why do _you_ get to decide that? Why do the rest of us not have a say?"

"I'm your _captain."_ Roman hisses.

"The Aurora sunk! You're captain of _nothing!_ We can't just sit around and do nothing because you're afraid we might lose a _machine!"_

Milo glances at Emily, who looks tired, and shares a look with him. Milo takes a step forward.

"Ryley has a point," Milo starts, and Roman turns his head to him, "We don't know how long it'll be until Avery could be helpful in driving a Cyclops. We don't know how long any of us even have."

"I'm not risking more lives." Roman retorts.

"There's no scenario where we don't risk our lives. Everything we're doing is dangerous and we're all dying whether we do something or stay here!" Ryley pushes.

"What about Bart? Shouldn't we at least wait for him?" Jochi cuts in to ask.

" _If_ he's still out there," Ryley starts, and Jochi winches, "Then he already knew the plan. He'd either wait here for us, or follow us. He'd be able to catch up."

"Why do you care about this so much?" Roman asks snappily. Ryley stares at him for a second, shocked.

"Because I don't want more people I care about to _die,_ dipshit!"

"Alright," Emily barks, stepping between the two and holding her hands out. "Enough, this is getting out of control."

Ryley crosses his arms, and doesn't look apologetic at all, though his eyes are watery. Roman appears much more guilty. Emily turns to Ryley.

"We can't let someone go there alone. Bart wouldn't go alone in eight years, we have no better of a shot." Her gaze switched to Roman. "But we can't stay here and wait either, because none of us are getting better."

"Then what do we do?" Ozzy questions.

"There's a bed on the Cyclops, Avery can rest there. We try our best to drive it, bring the Prawn suit with us just in case. Avery can help if he's well enough while we're down there."

Roman's silent for a second, then shrugs. "That's… mostly exactly what Ryley said, but fine. You don't give me much other choice. You'd sneak out if I said no anyways."

Emily smiles for a second, as if she found the comment funny, but wasn't in a good enough mood to actually feel any humor. "We should leave in the morning."

Roman mutters an agreement, and Ryley stalks back off towards the room Avery was in. Milo watches him leave, feeling a strange feeling that he can only really describe as bad. He turns back to Roman, and when Milo really looks, he seems exhausted. Physically and mentally.

It all feels like a giant mess to Milo, and he shakes his head. He leans against one of the walls, thinking over the past couple hours, couple days, couple weeks.

He doesn't notice when everyone else filters out of the room. Barely notices when the one that stays stands beside him.

"We'll be fine," A voice murmurs, and despite how quiet it was said, Milo jumps anyways. Then he blinks and looks beside himself at Emily, who's staring at the opposite wall.

"Of course," He murmurs in agreement, but he's really not sure if he thinks they will. He's not even sure if Emily sounds like she's convinced.

"Everyone's just upset right now. It'll be fine in the morning. It has to be fine. We didn't come all this way to die now."

Her hands are shaking. Milo leans into her side, trying to comfort either her or himself, he's not sure. But he hates the feeling in his gut, wants it to leave. After a moment of hesitation, she takes one of his hands and intertwines their fingers.

"Exactly. We've handled more difficult things than driving a submarine so far," he says, trying to sound more convincing than before, "We've got this."

They have this. Everything's under control. It _has_ to be. They can't fail now, can't make mistakes now. They've been making too many mistakes, and it's cost them.

They'll all end up okay, because they _have_ to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and finally, at long last, its Lost River + Lava Zone time!! everything's gonna b ok bc im not strong enough to actually hurt these characters anymore akfbkabfoabd


	24. Day 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY PHONE CHARGER IS BROKEN AND MY PHONE IS AT 10% AND I CANT GET ANOTHER CHARGER UNTIL TOMMORROW AAAAAAAAAAA
> 
> OH FUCK IT DROPPED IT 9 NO MORE NOTES

Emily doesn't sleep.

She's beyond exhausted, yet no matter how hard she tries, she can't sleep. Can barely stay still for more than a few seconds. Gives up completely at some point.

There's a few extra supplies they hadn't carried onto the Cyclops. They had joked about making Avery and Bart deal with it. It feels cruel, everything she said, knowing what happened to them. Were they being attacked as she was making fun of them? Had they already been?

She doesn't know if it's very early, or very late. She doesn't even bother bringing a flashlight. She brings as much as she can carry, and stuffs it into the lockers. Maybe they were supposed to be organized. She finds any that can hold more items and throws what she can in.

It takes multiple trips. Her lungs ache. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but walking across the habitat is difficult enough. Walking from the habitat to the Cyclops was almost a struggle.

Ryley and Bart hadn't wanted to wait anymore than another day. Did they know more about the illness than they were letting on?

They were dying, weren't they?

Emily nearly collapses on the final trek back to the habitat. Her legs are weak, her stomach twists, her lungs  _ hurt. _ Everything hurts.

They were dying. They had nothing to try to slow it down anymore. Bart didn't tell them how he slowed it down. They had nothing. They were dying.

She swallows back a cough, pushes herself forward more, ignores how much she wants to sleep. She doesn't try to. Knows she won't.

She considers walking to her room anyway. Just to lay down, at least. She decides not to. Decides to go sit down in their low budget recreation of a canteen. She doesn't want to see Avery, even for a second.

Avery. They were going to push him out with them to the Cyclops. Half his face was covered in bandages, and she still insisted they bring him with them.

If it wasn't for her  _ stupid _ suggestion, he wouldn't have even been out there. Wouldn't have been attacked. Maybe Bart wouldn't have been attacked, either. Jochi and Roman were right; Bart had been fine on his own, had been for years.

She couldn't even let him rest in a habitat for more than a few hours before throwing him out into the ocean again.

She runs a hand through her hair, just to keep herself doing anything at all. She has to keep busy. This isn't busy. She has nothing else to do but wait.

Her arms ache and itch and burn. Her eyelids are heavy and tired and begging for rest.

She doesn't rest. She doesn't stop moving.

 

* * *

 

The sun has yet to rise, and Emily wonders if any of the others slept at all either. They look tired.

It's early, and still dark, and they're getting ready.

Danby and Ozzy are already waiting in the Cyclops. Milo looks as if he's barely awake. Ryley keeps stumbling on his own feet. Jochi's holding a paper cup between his hands, filled with some of the gross coffee the machine produces, and he's not so much as sipped it yet. It has to have gone cold by now.

Roman's as robotic as when she first met him. Emotionless and cold and following protocol, giving orders. She hates it. Wishes he would stop acting like their boss and start being their friend. She thought he had been getting better at that.

She shakes her head, and leaves the habitat.

It's cold outside. Some rain still drizzles down, but it's much less windy. A lot more foggy. All they have is wetsuits and whatever clothes they were in when they boarded the lifepods. Nothing to keep out the cold.

She makes a bit of a dash to the Cyclops, hissing as she goes into the water. She enters through the hatch at the bottom. She grits her teeth to stop a curse at the water. At least the coldness woke her up a bit more.

She climbs up another ladder, and already feels exhaustion starting to kick in again. She tries to figure out if its the sickness, or the fact she's stayed awake for more than a good 28 hours at this point.

It takes a lot of willpower to push herself off the ground and stand up. She glances up, and Ozzy gives her a sympathetic look.

"Any idea how much longer they're gonna be?" They ask. Emily shrugs.

"No idea. Not much longer, I assume," She answers, and pauses for a second. "Roman's purposefully being slow. He still doesn't want to do this."

"Do  _ any _ of us  _ want _ to do this, though? He's the only one being a dick about it." Ozzy scoffs. Emily's conflicted against defending him and agreeing with Ozzy.

"Slowing us down a few extra minutes isn't that bad all things considered, at least, right?"

Ozzy stares at her for a second, and shrugs. "I guess,"

She watches them walk away, further into the submarine, and sighs. The lot of them have known one another for more than two years at the very least - why couldn't they get along for more than a few hours at a time? She had thought everything was getting better.

She glances outside, through the window. She could just barely make out moving shapes through the fog. She shakes her head.

In the end, it probably didn't matter how well any of them got along. They'd probably end up at Alterra after this. They'd probably never see each other again, even if any of them wanted to.

Emily's PDA has already warned her of the debt they were collecting. How much she alone was collecting. Who knows what kind of hell Alterra would put them through?

She tries to ignore the uneasy feeling in her stomach, tries to reason that it would all end up being okay.

She hears a hatch open. A few moments later, Milo's at her side. They're near another an awful lot anymore. Not that she was complaining.

"Sure has been a long month," He jokes. She smiles.

"I'd say it's been a long year. This entire trip has been one big disaster."

"Disaster almost undersells this. I don't think it can get any worse, honestly."

Roman walks in, and stands in front of the controls. Emily stares at him for a second.

"Everybody ready?" She asks. He glances back at her, and gives a vague hand gesture.

"As we'll ever be,"

The Cyclops engine starts. Emily holds her breath until the machine stops shaking, and then shares an anxious look with Milo.

There's no turning back now.

 

* * *

Milo told them about an entrance to the river that was much closer - practically directly under the island. Emily was worried about the route momentarily, the ghost leviathans, crabsquids, and warpers were some of her least favorite to deal with. But then she reasons that none of the other ways really avoided any of them anyways.

Ryley told them of an entrance to the caves of the reef large enough for the Cyclops. It's close to one of the leviathans. The Cyclops is loud.

Emily hopes it's not too loud.

They make it through the deeper parts of the reef without much trouble. The warpers can't seem to reach them from within the Cyclops. A single crabsquid tried attacking them, but it didn't do enough damage to be a concern. It wasn't like they were sticking around.

The pass the Degasi base, and a burst of emotion fills her. Were all three of them really dead? She finds herself mourning over people she never really knew.

She finds herself blaming their captain. It was Alterra who sent her here, sent more than a hundred people to their deaths. It was because of Alterra that the Sunbeam crashed. But Alterra never would have sent them out here if the Degasi hadn't crashed.

If he were alive, how would he react to all this? She wonders if he'd feel guilty. All these deaths, all this suffering, all this terror - all because he was greedy. Because he wanted more. Because he was too stubborn to see any flaws in his ideas.

He didn't sound regretful in any of the logs she's listened to. He didn't seem to think he made any mistakes. He seemed confident it would all be fine in the end.

If none of this would have made him feel as bad as Emily wants him to feel, maybe the knowledge of what happened to his son would. She wishes he was alive. She would have liked to see his expression as she told him of everything Bart had been through.

As soon as she thinks it, she feels bad. That would be a cruel thing to do to someone, wouldn't it? She's still angry at him.

They make it through to the river. The green tinted fog surrounding the area made seeing even the walls around them difficult.

The Cyclops had a sonar, though. Emily finds herself glancing between the power and depth indicators. She doesn't think there'll be a problem, but the power got a bit low last time they went down here.

They come across a split in the corridor, and continue heading straight. There's more squids. Not as many, though.

There's a skeleton of something giant. Emily thinks its teeth are as long as she is tall. Several cables are propped around it, providing light.

There's some strange doorway off to the side. A small habitat with barely more than an observatory sits on the ledge. Whatever had been powering it must have run out long ago.

"Bart's already been here," Ryley murmurs, almost knowingly, as if he had known before he'd even seen the signs of the Degasi crew.

There wasn't anything else here. Just angry creatures, and leftovers from the dead.

They turn around, and head down the other route, following the flow of the brine river.

There's a cliff edge, a waterfall, and another skeleton. Much larger than the last. Much larger than anything she's ever seen. Roman only hesitates for a moment before the Cyclops is driving over it, and its skull alone is longer than the sub.

Emily hopes there's not any more of those things swimming around.

"That's weird," Ryley says out of the blue, looking lost in thought, as if talking to himself.

Emily looks at him. "What is?"

He glances back at her, and then turns his head back to the glass. "I can hear another one of those ghosts, and I thought it was near that skeleton."

"You- can't tell where it is?" She asks.

"I don't know," He answers. "It's nearby. There's a few down here, though. Hard to tell which is which."

Emily remembers when they first went down here, there had been one. Bart had mentioned at least another two. Then there was that nesting ground.

She feels like they're criminally unprepared for this, thinking about it. She eyes the power beacon again. But they don't have much choice anyways, do they? They have to go deeper, they'll die if they don't.

She hears a screech.

"Definitely nearby," Milo says under his breath.

"We have silent running. It'll be fine." Roman attempts to reassure.

"Silent running won't help if it starts attacking us." She counters.

"They're territorial, right? If we just run away it won't follow."

Emily remembers saying something similar to Milo once. She didn't truly believe it then, and she doesn't right now. The plan doesn't feel very safe or smart at all.

She takes a few steps forward, to try to see outside better. Her eyes settle on a light, and she pauses.

"Hey," She says, not taking her eyes off it, "I know there's others down here, but is that a habitat?"

The Cyclops slows as Roman observes it. "It's not rusted like the others," He muses.

"Bart must have built it," Ryley adds, and then loses interest. Emily stares at the small habitat a bit longer. It's just two rooms built on top one another. A smoking seamoth coated in scratches sits outside.

Milo stares at it for a second longer than the rest of them.

"That… definitely wasn't here before."

Ryley actually turns to him at that. "What?"

Milo shakes his head. "That's- up there, that's how we got down here. Our lifepod is up there, I remember we passed it. There wasn't anything here."

The four of them are frozen for a second. Someone walks into the bridge with them.

"What's happening? Why've we stopped moving?" Ozzy questions. Emily barely hears them.

Ryley rushes past them without an answer.

“Ryley, do not leave this submarine!” Roman calls after him. “We still don’t know where that leviathan is!”

Almost on cue, as if their lives are some sick play, there’s another, louder, screech. A second later and the Cyclops snaps closer to the wall. Emily scrambles to stay on her feet.

Roman rushes over to turn off the engine, and Emily turns to look to where Ryley ran off. She’s almost surprised that she can still see him - although anyone that wasn’t standing was now. She blinks when she realizes Avery was out of the bed.

“He didn’t come back down here since you left with him!” Ryley snaps when Roman turns his head again. His voice leaked of desperation. “We can’t leave without even looking!”

Emily’s gaze flickers over to Jochi. His expression is unreadable as he stares at Roman.

“I know that,” Roman answers, “But it’s not a good idea to do that right  _ now. _ We should leave and wait until it’s safer.”

“It’s not far, I can go with a Seaglide! It won’t notice me!” Ryley counters.

Roman opens his mouth, and the Cyclops rocks again. An AI warns of damage to the hull.

“I can’t let you kill yourself over a possibility,” He hisses, his voice shaking a bit.

Jochi takes a step forward. “Roman, it’ll only take a minute. We have time, just put up the shield generator up.”

“That’ll drain the power too much, we can’t waste any of it, and we can’t stay here.”

There’s another terrifying screech, and Emily takes it upon herself to march over to the controls. She doesn’t think anyone even notices her. She hits the shields, and the power drops several numbers almost instantly.

Eyes finally turn to her. As they do, Ryley races to the back of the ship again. Roman stares after him for a second, before quickly turning back to Emily.

“We cannot lose this Cyclops,” His voice is raised a bit, and Emily sees the panic in his expression. “We would never make it back to the surface!”

“We’ll be fine,” She tries, but the submarine shakes again, and for once the Cyclops doesn’t warn of any hull damage. On the other hand, she now hears a click of a power cell run out.

She glances out the window, and as the triangular pattern fades for a moment, she can already see Ryley swimming for the habitat. She hopes and hopes that the leviathan keeps its focus on them, and not him.

“We don’t know how far we still have left to go and we still need to make it all the way back! The Cyclops won’t last five more  _ minutes _ with the shields!” Roman argues, taking a few steps towards her. She stands in front of the console.

“Emily, I really think he has a point-” Milo starts, and Ozzy almost immediately cuts him off.

“We can’t leave until Ryley’s back anyway, so it doesn’t matter!”

The lights flicker. Emily turns to look at the HUD once again - eight hundred meters underwater, the have to pass several leviathans regardless of the way out, they have to go at least another three hundred meters down - and their power is less than fifty percent full. She suddenly feels overwhelmed.

She glances at the health beacon. They can’t really risk being attacked much more - who knows what’s down further? But they can’t keep draining their power, either.

She finds herself thinking they really weren’t prepared for this at all again. Nothing here was a good decision. 

In a panic, she turns off the shield again. She has no idea if she should’ve. She hopes Ryley returns quickly. The ghost leviathan doesn’t leave. It rams directly into the glass next. It cracks. Drops of water slowly leak through it. Emily takes a step back from the console as she stares at it.

“We’ve gone through so much, and this is how we die?” Danby asks, his voice quiet and small. The Cyclops warns of a power outage.

It was going to turn off oxygen production soon.

She can just barely smell smoke. The glass cracks further. The AI tells them to evacuate.

“There’s another base not far from here. Avery, get in the Prawn suit, head towards that glowing tree. Everyone else follow him.” Roman commands, despite the uncertainty in his voice. Ozzy looks at him.

“What about Ryley? He won’t know where to go.”

“I’ll get him,” Emily answers before Roman can say anything. A deep rumbling noise from the ship prevents him from arguing. He tells her to be safe instead, and Milo stares at her for a moment before following the other retreating crew. He looks terrified. Emily feels similarly. She pushes him forward, and stays close behind.

She takes one last look back at the interior, wondering briefly if any of the supplies in the lockers would survive. Then she dives into the water, and swims as fast as possible.

The Cyclops makes a horrible high-pitched noise, and then a bright light fills her vision.

She closes her eyes against it, tries to remember what direction the habitat was in, and then there's a loud echoing boom, and she's thrown clear of the submarine.

Her back hits a rock, hard.

All the breath leaves her body and she has to fight to stop herself from gasping for more. Her lungs are suddenly screaming at her, and her ears are ringing, and she can only just barely make out the shape of the tree.

She doesn't think she's ever been more terrified in her life.

The Cyclops was sinking to the floor, holes and wires poking out in various places. The leviathan screeches sound more far off, and Emily can't see it - she assumes the explosion scared it off.

She tries swimming towards the habitat where she last saw Ryley.

She can see the others out of the corner of her eye - or at least some of them. She can't tell who's who, but she knows those have to be humans, and they're close enough- they can make it.

She pushes her legs harder, but the habitat doesn't seem like it's getting closer. None of them turn around. None of them see her.

The corners of her eyes are blurry, and dark. Her lungs hurt. She can barely stop herself from trying to breath, and -

She can't rest. She can't stop moving.

She realizes there's no way she can reach the habitat. She can’t reach either of them.

She was the last to leave, she can't hold her breath that long, not now - she doesn't have an air tank or a rebreather.

She was going to drown.

Less than a hundred meters from safety. Less than a day's journey to a cure. Less than a week from a chance to survive all of this. And she was going to drown.

She hears a noise from behind her, and turns her head with the little energy she has, half expecting the leviathan to be back.

She sees a Seamoth. A blurry shape hops out of it. Did one of them go to the Seamoth? It looks like the same one. Smart, she thinks.

The shape gets closer to her, and her entire vision is dotted with blackness - she can barely make out more than just the silhouette.

She swears she recognizes those green eyes.

An arm is wrapped around her side, and moving her through the water, and -

And she blacks out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)


	25. Day 48 (mama mia)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY HALLOWEEN YALL ITS SPOOKY TIME

Ozzy trips stepping through the hatch, and nearly collapses as they sputter for air. Most of the bases they had seen were abandoned - they’re unbelievably glad that this one was used recently enough to still be powered.

As they’re regaining their breath, they look around. The base wasn’t very large - but it stands to reason that Bart probably wouldn’t have bothered, being alone. Jochi’s the only other one in the room. Anxiety starts to worm its way in them when they don’t see anyone right behind them.

Jochi notices, and nods his head at the other corridors. “More than one hatch and a moonpool. They’re fine.”

Ozzy breathes a sigh of relief, but still remains anxious. They’re still too shaky on their feet to bother trying to walk away from the wall they’re leaning against. A few moments later, they hear the faint sound of something docking the moonpool, and coughing. Avery, Jochi, and someone else - alright. Everyone else should be right behind Avery, surely?

They were fine, all of them were fine.

The Cyclops blew up, all they have is a Prawn suit, and Bart said he’d never gone farther than the river. They have no more bases to swim towards, not even old rusted ones.

They still have to hope that Emily and Ryley make it over without the leviathan or anything else attacking them. Did she even have a seaglide? They weren’t paying attention. They didn’t think they made any seaglides yet. Maybe they had the materials, but they didn’t think they had any ready for use.

They’re hoping Bart follows. Ozzy really hopes Bart is with them. They hadn’t expected themself to become attached so quickly - but they found themself missing him.

Danby stumbles into the room, Avery beside him and Milo right behind. Danby seems to look around quickly before his eyes settle on Ozzy, and he rushes over. Ozzy instantly reaches into the hug.

"Where's Roman?" Milo asks, a hint of worry in his voice. Jochi gives a shrug.

"We were all right beside another, he should be-"

He cuts himself off as the hatch behind Ozzy opens, and Roman steps through, struggling for air. Jochi quickly steps towards him.

Avery nods, almost to himself. "That's- okay. Now we just need to wait for Ryley and Emily. Then we need a new plan." His voice is hoarse and croaky, and he winces a bit as if speaking physically pained him.

"New plan?" Danby mumbles. "Only one of us can use the Prawn, all of our supplies were on the Cyclops - we're  _ trapped _ here."

"Surely there's something here? There's gotta be food, and water, at least." Milo speaks up, though he looks completely lost.

Ozzy looks around the room. They were all freezing, and wet, and their only hope of survival was just destroyed in maybe forty-five seconds flat.

None of them could make a swim back up. The Prawn suit was slow and not good at ascents - they're nearly at the corridor to the lava place, they'd have to make who knows how many jumps up drop offs to make it to the surface.

Even then, only Roman could attempt to pilot a new Cyclops down this far. Who knows how long it would take him? One of them could die before he made it back. All of them could. Roman himself could. They'd never even know what happened to him.

Maybe they could take the suit down the corridor and hope they find what they're looking for. Hope the suit doesn't get destroyed by its crush depth, hope nothing down there could eat it. Maybe they could just run and hope for the best.

They're running out of options. Running out of energy. Running out of time.

The hatch opens again. Ozzy quickly snaps their eyes over. Ryley walks through. There's a panicked look on his face.

"What the hell happened to the Cyclops? I was gone for like,  _ ten seconds _ and you blew it up!"

"We're all fine, thanks for asking," Ozzy responds, attempting to lighten the panic.

"Did you find anything?" Avery asks a second later. Ryley hesitates before shaking his head.

"All that was in there was a fabricator, and a bunch of random stuff on the floor. Thing was barely even powered."

The two of them share a pained look, and Ozzy tries to think of anything to try to reason why he wouldn't be in the base. Just to try to get rid of that expression. They don't think they've ever seen him look so crushed.

"Wait, where's Emily?" Milo asks, a bit suddenly. Ryley blinks.

"Uh, wasn't she with you?"

Milo stares at him for a second, before Roman takes a step forward. "She went to tell you where we went, didn't you see her?"

"I saw the lights of the prawn suit and followed that. I didn't see anyone."

"We need to look for her." Milo says quickly, as if he was struggling to breathe.

Before anyone else can respond, there's the sound of the hatch opening again. It sounded further away - one of the other ones. The habitat's AI says something, but Ozzy barely hears it over Milo's footsteps as he ran towards the sound.

"See, we're all fine," Roman mumbles. Jochi nudges his shoulder.

"You were the one saying we'd all die?"

"That was the past me. I changed my opinion."

Ozzy lets out a breath they didn't realize they were holding. The exchange felt just light-hearted enough to resolve some of the anxiety churning in their stomach.

_ "Guys?!" _ Milo calls from some other room, and Ozzy shares a look with Danby. Ryley begins following the corridor first, rather quickly, everyone else following a bit behind.

When the reach the room that Milo had yelled from, Ozzy's breath gets caught in their throat.

Emily was leaning against Milo, looking barely conscious. She was safe, they were all fine -

A few feet ahead of them stands a familiar silhouette. Avery takes a step forward, staring at the shape as if it might not have been there at all.

"..Surprise?" The person says, with a nervous laugh.

"Bart?" Ryley asks breathlessly, though it's obvious he doesn't need the answer.

"Hi," Bart answers anyway, and a bit more humorously adds, "Thanks for destroying my Cyclops, by the way."

Jochi rushes forward and crushed Bart in a hug. Ryley follows behind him, but doesn't reach out. Just stares as if in a trance.

"We thought you were dead!" Jochi chokes out. "Why didn't you come back?"

Bart looks a bit confused at that, and a bit guilty. "You thought I was dead?"

"You were attacked by a reaper and then didn't come back to the island! Why  _ wouldn't _ we think that?"

Bart looks at him apologetically. "Yeah- uh, sorry. I had an idea. I forgot that you'd probably freak out."

Jochi stares at him for a second, as if contemplating the excuse, before hugging him again.  _ "Never _ do something like that again,"

Bart gives him a pat on the back. "Yeah, fine."

 

* * *

All things considered, knowing Bart was fine only made everything feel better for a couple of minutes. They were still stuck in the seabase. They were still clueless as to what to do.

And honestly, now that Ozzy had been staring at him a while, unsure if he was even real, they're starting to realize just how terrible he looks. He looks tired. He looks like it's hurting him to breathe.

But what can any of them do about that? They can't rest - not for much longer. Surely a few hours won't make much difference, they reason to themself. They aren't  _ that _ sick. None of them will be any worse because it took an extra hour.

But it feels really important. Like they  _ have _ to keep going, that if they take a pause they won't make it.

But what can Ozzy even do to help? They knew nothing about exploring alien worlds, knew nothing of treating illnesses. They're too scared to try to leave on their own, and too scared to want to stay. Nobody looks to them for a plan - because why would they?

Ozzy looks at Danby. He's sitting on the floor, staring anxiously at his hands. Ozzy knows why. Ozzy can't bring themself to acknowledge it anymore. They've nearly lost him too many times to think about how this might all be for nothing.

Because Danby wasn't that much better. Bart knew how to slow it, but Danby was already in the late stages of it before he could do anything. It couldn't have helped him much, whatever Bart gave him.

They try not to think about it. They listen back in to the conversation.

"Do you even know where the plant is?" Roman asks. Bart hesitates before answering.

"Well… no, I've never been further than the corridor. But the scanner says its depth and that its in the center of the cave, so it shouldn't be difficult to find."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

Bart nods. "It'll take too long to build a new Cyclops, and I can salvage the gear from the wreck. It'll be close, but we can make it."

Ozzy finds themself wondering what his plan was. They weren't paying much attention before.

Roman sighs. "Alright, fine. I hope you know what you're doing,"

Bart smiles for a second, but it looks like the same not genuine ones he had when they first met him.

At least they were going to try, though. Even if they all die, at least they  _ tried. _

 

* * *

They didn't have enough seaglides for all of them. Bart's plan was to have half of them go at a time, and send the prawn suit back for the others.

It doesn't sound like a good idea. But compared to the other options, maybe it was their best shot.

The swim was a good five hundred meters at best. The path was straight through warper and leviathan territory. It would be dark, and enclosed, and murky. 

All of those problems  _ ignored _ the geysers and lava, and the possibility that even if they make it through all of that they could burn from the boiling temperatures.

All those ignored them getting lost, and permanently trapping the other half of the group at the seabase without any hope or clue that they wouldn't return.

In theory, it should be easy enough - stay close to the ground, stay away from any roaring, keep away from lava, head into the center of the cave, find the giant alien power plant. It  _ should _ be easy.

But Ozzy thinks of every possible thing that could go wrong as they stared at half of the group getting ready. In particular they watch Ryley. Knows exactly why he was going first, knows why he keeps wanting to go out.

But they're worried about their friend dying, damn it. It doesn't matter to Ozzy at all right now  _ why _ Ryley insists on putting his life at risk. It doesn't matter that there's a chance he and everyone else will die regardless of their choices. They're worried for him.

Danby squeezes their arm, and Ozzy gains some reassurance that at least one person they really care about will remain near them. It sounds selfish, to want to keep them all close, but looking around the room, Ozzy thinks it's safe to assume the others feel the same.

Jochi looks near terrified as his gaze flicks between Bart and Roman. If Ozzy was scared of letting  _ Ryley _ out of their sights, they had no clue how Jochi must feel.

They crowded around the moonpool. It's five hundred meters. It sounds like a lot. Five hundred meters has to be a long swim - Ozzy's not sure how much further down this terrible place can bring them - but that's  _ far. _

They have fully upgraded air tanks and rebreathers. They can make it with a seaglide. They'd have oxygen left over. It would barely be a problem at all.

Ryley nudges Ozzy's shoulder. Ozzy isn't sure what to say to him. Everything was scaring the hell out of them lately, and they don't have any words left.

"Be careful," Danby tells him from beside Ozzy. They want to repeat the sentiment, wants to give Ryley any sort of encouragement they could. They find a lump stuck in their throat stops them from saying anything at all. Ryley seems to read the brimming panic.

"You'll see us again before you know it," Ryley murmurs, with a touch on their shoulder that probably lasts longer than it needs to, "Don't worry too much."

Ozzy nods wordlessly, and tries to keep the exact tone the words were said in stuck in their head.

The Prawn suit drops into the water. Four people jump in after it.

_ Don't worry, don't worry _ \- their head repeats the words over and over.

Don't worry. Don't worry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: writing serious scenes for a fanfic, some of which are incredibly important for character development and relationships amongst the characters
> 
> my brain: two trucks having sex two trucks having sex my muscles my muscles involuntarily flex


	26. Day 48 (here we go again)

The water's cold, and lit up blue, and harmless rays swim around slowly around them. All of that is startlingly thrown away as they swim for just a few more seconds. The temperature changes drastically, the walls close in and make everything the same dark color.

It's almost empty, almost silent - a few strange worm things, a few teleporting things that they avoid fairly easily.

In fact, it all was going well. He underestimated how fast the seaglide took them, how long their tanks really lasted.

Ryley still feels on edge.

Everything feels like its going too well, and he can hear more of those things teleporting around from everywhere. There's got to be dozens of them.

He hears something else, too, way ahead of them. Ryley thinks it sounds like a  _ dragon _ . Which is… not fair. It can't be much larger than anything else they've seen so far though, right? These caverns were way too small to support much of anything. How  _ anything _ could live in what he's sure is an underwater volcano continues to amaze him as they go deeper.

He wants to warn the others, but he only hears one of it, and he's near certain it couldn't even be a leviathan, and they're sticking to the ground anyways - and he doesn't really want to waste even a second of oxygen. They're not even sure if the thing they're swimming to is active, if it'll have breathable air.

Shit, what if it's collapsed? What if there's no entrance? What if it requires another key? Will they be able to swim all the way back?

Ryley begins to feel sick. Wonders if they are actually making a terrible call. He counted on Bart before, trusts him, but even he doesn't know what's ahead. Just an idea of what could be.

The only way they can even see their way forward is because of the lights on the Prawn suit. Even with it their view is limited. Ryley briefly wonders how they're ever going to find their way back out of these caves.

He doesn't think he could find his way back alone. He doesn't want to think about what could happen if something attacked them. He's starting to wonder if they'll even have enough oxygen to swim back if something does go wrong.

The claustrophobic tunnel finally starts to open up. Ryley can see a fair bit better now - but it's still annoyingly difficult to make out anything.

He can hear the leviathan  _ (leviathans?) _ roaring, hears several other cries from what he can only hope aren't as big or scary as they sound, hears the water being moved and hears breathing. He can hear so much around him, and yet he can see almost none of it at all.

And silently, he continues on, trying to not let it bother him.

It gets steadily warmer, and before long he can spot streams of lava between the cracks in the ground. Sees it flowing down from above them, sees more and more pools as they swim forward. They don't stick as close to the ground as they had planned.

Ryley keeps an eye on the Prawn suit, nervousness filling him everytime Avery slows to go around or jump over the streams.

"There," Bart suddenly speaks, and Ryley takes his gaze off the machine to see what he was pointing out.

Just barely visible in the distance, a giant rock formation sat in what looked like the center of the cave. What looked like smoke was flowing out of several vents spread across the top.

And Ryley forgets all of his worries, because they just need to find a building now. They just need to go forward a few dozen meters, and it can only get easier from there, right? This can't possibly get more difficult.

Without any more words, they swim towards it. Ryley finds himself glancing back at Avery a bit less. He's much too focused on finding a way inside that rock.

Something very loud makes a lot of noise very nearby, and Ryley flinches. He glances around frantically as his ears ring. Milo paused a bit ahead of him.

Ryley looks above himself. He thinks he can just manage to make out something before it disappears back into the fog.

"Ignore it," Avery tell them, his voice still sounding horribly off. Ryley tries really hard to listen. But it was also very hard to ignore something that was loud enough he was sure he'd be deaf by the time they swam back to the tree.

At least it was leaving them alone. Ryley wondered if it was because it hadn't seen them, or if it was because it didn't consider them worth attacking. He pushes the thought away.

They keep swimming.

His oxygen is getting low enough that it worries him a fair bit more than it had before.

They keep swimming.

Bart says something again, another one word comment, yet Ryley doesn't really process it. He glances up to see a faint green glow on the side of the structure, and an entrance to a cave inside.

The others swim hurriedly towards it. Ryley finds himself wanting to follow, but pauses to glance back at Avery again, watching him struggle to get the Prawn suit up the cliff.

Ryley wishes they spent more time on the upgrades for it. They had only given it depth modules. He feels bad as he watches the suit slide down a drop that Avery didn't land quite right. Ryley looks around, but can't find an easier way to get up the cliff, so he just sits and hopes nothing notices them lingering.

Only once he's reached stable ground does Ryley continue through the cave entrance, glancing behind him every few seconds to make sure Avery's avoided falling into the lava streams coating the narrow tunnel.

There's an abundance in some strange lizard-like creature in the tunnel. The small space makes it difficult to avoid them.

Strangely, they leave them alone. They don't seem passive, and Ryley can see their teeth - the plentiful eggs Avery's taking great care in avoiding stepping on makes him even more confused. He's certainly glad they're being ignored. But it almost creeps him out.

Finally the claustrophobic tunnel opens up, and there's a drop into nothing but lava below. And in front of him is clearly another structure built by the precursors.

Much smaller than the others he's seen, but the outside is the same, and the cables holding it up are the same, and they  _ made it. _ They made it.

The realization makes his stomach flutter. He's not even sure if he's excited, or anxious.

Ryley takes a moment to glance around it, trying to find a doorway inside, before he spots Roman, who gestures with his head to follow him. Ryley glances back at Avery for a moment, yet again, before following. He hears the Prawn suit jump, and he hears it land on the top of the building, before Ryley  walks through the entrance to the plant.

He coughs, before taking a deep breath.

"You okay?" Roman asks him. Ryley nods. He looks around, and doesn't see Bart or Milo anywhere. A jolt of worry worms its way through him.

Roman seems to guess what he was thinking. "They went on ahead, place is a lot bigger than it looks outside."

Before Ryley can think of a response, Avery jumps through in through the doorway. The Prawn suit crouches, and he jumps down from the hatch at the top. He stumbles a bit as his feet hit the ground, and Ryley hears him wince.

"Well that wasn't… so bad?" Ryley says a bit out of breath, the sentence ending up sounding more like a question than a statement.

"Yeah," Roman agrees. "Could have gone a lot worse, really,"

Avery sits down, and doesn't answer. Ryley eyes him nervously, but he doesn't seem any more injured than he was when they left. He assumes he's maybe just tired, and worn out from all the panic. And the blood loss. Ryley thinks usually you're supposed to rest for longer than a couple hours.

But usually people aren't dying of an alien disease that causes organ failure in a couple of weeks. So even though Ryley feels guilty, especially since he's one of the main reasons Avery's down here to begin with instead of resting, he's convinced this is the better option.

They're doing the right thing.

Ryley helps Roman put the seaglides in the Prawn's storage, and repeats his own reassurances to himself in his head. He can't be wrong about this. It's too important.

After a few seconds, Roman shuts the storage door, and hops down. Ryley finds it almost humorous, that the Prawn suit towers over them even when it's at half its usual height.

He hears footsteps, and turns his head to look down the hall. A few moments later he sees Milo and Bart walking back towards them.

When they're a bit closer in view, Ryley realizes one of Milo's arms is bleeding.

"What happened?" Ryley asks, gesturing to the torn skin. Milo shrugs.

"One of the lizard things in the tunnel. Apparently they can spit burning rocks, so that was a fun discovery." He ends the explanation with an eye roll, and Ryley blinks.

"They barely even looked at us. What'd you do to them?"

Milo stares at him for a second. "Nothing, they just started spitting molten rocks at us. What do you mean they left you alone?"

"Is he going to be able to make it back?" Bart asks, interrupting Ryley's planned reply, staring at Avery. Ryley pauses for a moment to glance back at him, still leaning against the wall, and shrugs.

"I can go instead," Roman offers, and Bart hesitantly nods. Then he sighs, and Ryley finally notices the blue tablet in his hands.

"What'd you find?" Ryley asks.

Bart's eyes flick to him, and there's an expression on his face similar to the one he had when he first met him. Milo has a similar look, and Ryley feels even more curious.

"I know where we need to go now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't rlly know how to end this so its a bit of a cliffhanger sorry akdltbalbtkabtjsnt


	27. Day 48 (my my how could i resist you)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> al-an's official design has been added to experimental in bz,,,,,,holy shit he looks so cool y'all. i cannot stop thinking about him. this has nothing to do w the chapter i just HAVE to tell anyone who will listen that i love al-an so much that i yelled and cried looking at him

Ryley blinks. "What?"

Roman leaves with the Prawn suit, and Bart explains.

Milo found further directions to yet another thousand year old building. Ryley's starting to get tired of doing this. The PDA's referring to it as the primary containment facility. Ryley feels a bit more okay with dealing with the situation knowing that.

Primary containment. Primary. It has to be important.

It's only about another five hundred meters away. And, really - a good half of those are in depth alone. It's _close._

Ryley tries to test if he can hear down there. He thinks he hears the strange sound of lava underwater, hears the snarling of another one of the dragon-sounding leviathans. He hears warpers going in and out of their portals.

He can hear the force fields buzzing from within the facility. He can _hear_ it. He can _hear_ how close they are to finally getting somewhere.

His heart is beating rapidly in his chest, and for the first time in way too long, it's not because of fear.

"There's one of those teleporting-portal things down there, too," Milo adds, "It leads back up to one of the islands."

Bart nods. "We have an easy way out of here," He sounds excited, as if any doubts he had before had vanished after exploring the thermal plant.

"That's really convenient," Ryley comments, feeling a similar sense of delight. It seems almost unreal.

They just needed to wait for Roman and the others to reach them. Then they could get a better plan with what they know they can do now.

Ryley feels terribly impatient. He sits down beside Avery. The other leans his head on Ryley's shoulder.

Bart paces the room, going on and on about so much Ryley can barely keep up with what he was talking about.

When he hears the familiar whirring noise of a seaglide - several of them - he stops being able to focus on the words at all. He just listens to the group swimming closer and closer, the noise getting steadily louder. For once, Ryley welcomes it.

By the time they swim through the barrier, Ryley's finding it difficult to stay sitting, and he definitely isn't sitting still. It briefly occurs to him that it's probably bothering Avery, but he finds it hard to stop twitching or tapping his fingers.

Roman jumps out of the Prawn suit, and the others regain their breath. Emily pats one of Milo's shoulders when he walks up to her. The spot leaves a faint glow.

"Thank god, you're all still alive," She murmurs, genuine relief in her voice. Ryley wonders if she thought they wouldn't be.

Milo nods. "'Course we are,"

"We have a way back to the surface," He continues, with a head gesture to the hall behind them. She looks up at him.

"We do?"

"There's a portal up to the quarantine facility," Ryley answers.

"Then that's where we're going," Roman adds, taking a few steps forward to help Avery up off the floor. Ryley helps as well.

Bart glances around for a moment. "Why?"

Roman's eyebrows furrow. "We've lost all our supplies and we'd have had no chance if it weren't for this abandoned building that managed to stay active. We're not taking more unnecessary risks. We should make a new cyclops."

"We just swam the same amount that we need to go to reach the next facility," Bart argues. "We can do it again. Why would we need to make a Cyclops?"

"It's more dangerous the deeper we go. We're not swimming if we don't need to. If we all work, it won't take more than a couple hours-"

"Or," Bart interrupts. "We go find the place I've spent the last ten years trying to get to right now, since we're fully capable of doing that?"

Ten years. Ryley can't really imagine what ten years on this planet must have felt like. Especially not alone.

There's a desperate look in his eyes, and Ryley can only assume how much this meant to Bart.

Roman sighs. "So you wait another day or so. Is that really so bad?" He asks. "Two days can't hurt that much."

"After all it took to get down here, you want to go through it all again?"

"We know what to expect now,"

"You don't get it," Bart sounds exasperated, almost panicked, and something flashes in his eyes for a second, "Marguerit and my father didn't either - look where that got _them,"_

A guilty look crosses Roman's face. "I'm just trying to keep us _all_ alive," he defends. "I think trying to swim down there with nothing but a Seaglide is too risky. Don't take that personally."

Ryley can hear Bart grinding his teeth. He rolls his eyes, and then sighs. "Fine. If you insist."

Roman eyes him for another second, then turns, and walks down the hallway, Avery stumbling beside him. Ryley finds him conflicted, wanting to walk beside him, but also wanting to stay next to Bart. He ends up beside neither, walking near the back of the group.

Bart was still a few steps behind him.

Ryley can't read minds. He wishes he could hear his thoughts. What he can hear is heavier than usual footsteps, hands balling into and out of fists. He can't hear thoughts, can't hear emotions - but he's fairly certain he knew what Bart was feeling.

Ryley thinks he feels a very small fraction of the same.

His feet drag a bit. He tries to think more positively.

He sees the portal, already activated - but of course it was, Milo must have went through it to know where it lead to. Now that he's looking at it, he listens for the Primary Containment entrance again. He finds himself wanting to go through it even _less_ than before.

He glances back at Bart.

"What if we don't have another two days?" Ryley asks, to no one in particular.

He doesn't get an answer at first. No one makes any move to the portal.

"What other choice do we have?" Roman asks instead of answering. Ryley hears genuine distress in his voice.

"It's only three hundred meters," Bart speaks up again. "We can handle the three minutes it'll take to get there."

"It's mostly the fish down there I'm worried about," Roman mutters. A bit more loudly, he asks, "We can't really outrun anything around here, how are we supposed to deal with them?"

"We were fine so far,"

"Barely," Milo cuts in. Bart stares at him for a second.

"Nothing's tried to _kill us_ yet,"

"That's still debatable," Milo scoffs.

Bart huffs out a breath. "Let me go alone, then. I can take the Prawn suit."

Roman sighs. "Nobody's going anywhere _alone._ It's too dangerous."

"I've been mostly fine so far," Bart argues with a chuckle. Roman blinks, and there's a tired look in his eyes. Ryley glances over to Bart again.

"I could go with him," Ryley offers.

Emily takes a step forward. "The hell's gotten into you two?"

Ryley blinks. "The place isn't that far. I- I can hear it. And he wouldn't be alone if I went with him." He defends. "You can make the Cyclops and meet us down there, right?"

"Ryley, no." She groans. "Saving _five minutes_ isn't worth it. You'll both get yourselves killed."

Unsure of what to say, he glances over to Ozzy and Danby -- the latter shrugs, and Ozzy just looks nervous. Ryley realizes neither of them would want him to go anyways. Of course they wouldn't.

Ryley thinks that if either of them offered to follow Bart, he would have objected as well.

But he can't help but think Bart has a point, think that they should just go. They might die either way, right? There's no non-risky way to get there.

He decides to voice that thought.

Roman looks at him like Ryley's insane.

Maybe he was.

But maybe he was _right._

"Alright - you convince two other people here to follow you into your suicide mission, _maybe_ I'll consider it."

Ah.

Ryley glances around at the group. Danby and Ozzy clearly thought he was making a mistake, Emily and Milo already voiced their doubts, Roman had no intentions of following.

That would only leave Avery and Jochi.

Since the argument started, Avery had been standing near the portal, tracing his fingers over the designs built into it. Jochi was leaning against one side of the arch near him.

Jochi meets his gaze. He lets out a quiet sigh.

To Ryley's surprise, Avery speaks first.

"I'm the reason we came down here before we were ready. If it was that important a couple hours ago, it's probably still important now." He pauses for a moment. "If something's down there, I want to see it for myself."

Ryley wants to argue. Wants to tell him he could barely stand just minutes ago. Wants to tell Avery he should go rest on a new Cyclops.

But he really wants to go to that facility, and Avery would be fine for just a bit longer in the Prawn suit, so it couldn't hurt that much to bring him with them, right?

Roman blinks and furrows his eyebrows, then snaps his gaze to Jochi, who stares back for a moment, then shrugs.

"How dangerous can it _really_ be, compared to everything that we've already done?" Jochi tentatively asks. "We still have PDAs, I can send you a message when we get there; it'll be fine. Go get us a Cyclops."

Roman stares at him silently. A moment passes, and Emily sighs louder than necessary - Ryley thinks on purpose - "Well, if you're insisting, fine. Just don't die, it'd be a _huge_ inconvenience to us, yeah?"

Then she turns, and disappears through the portal. Milo follows a second later, after muttering a more sentimental version of her words.

Ryley turns to Ozzy and Danby.

Ozzy's gaze softens. "This has to be the last time you're pulling a life-threatening stunt. You're gonna give me a heart attack, you know that?"

"Don't you dare think about not being there when we get back," Danby adds.

Ryley can't help a smile. "Yeah, sorry - but I haven't died yet, have I?" He jokes. He adds, "Don't run into that ghost leviathan again on your way down."

A moment later, they're gone too.

Roman doesn't go through the portal.

Bart turns, and walks away, back towards the thermal plant's entrance. Avery follows, stumbling a bit as he goes. Jochi stares at Roman for another moment, and certain that he wants to say something, Ryley quickly follows the other two. He'd almost certainly hear them just as well regardless of where he was in the building. He isn't sure if that bothered them right now.

He waits near the forcefield, looks out at the lava falling from the cave ceiling. Avery was already in the Prawn suit. Ryley looks at Bart, but he can't get a read on him.

Ryley opens his mouth, not even sure of what he planned on saying yet, but Jochi calls out to them before he gets a sound out. Ryley shakes his head, and takes a deep breath.

They're out in the water again, and Ryley is quickly reminded of how hot the water really is. He tries to keep well away from any lava.

The group remains silent once again. Ryley thinks the quiet feels different this time. He tries not to think about it. He feels much more focused on reaching the next facility.

They swim back through the narrow tunnel filled with aquatic lizards. They're still passive - mostly. One swims a bit closer to them than Ryley likes, snaps at the Prawn suit - and then quickly swims away. Ryley realizes it's exactly the way they need to go.

Strange, he thinks to himself. They reach the tunnel entrance, and the lizard's sitting near one of the glowing markers. It eyes the group for a second, and then swims further away

Ryley glances at Bart, who seems to be watching the creature with a similar confusion. And amazement. He still clearly adores the wildlife. Ryley smiles.

There's another roar, and Ryley glances up to see the leviathan again. His heart drops. Two eyes stare down at them. Ryley's just about to warn the others, before a warper teleports in beside the dragon, and its attention leaves the group near instantly.

Ryley tears his gaze away, and looks at the lizard again. It keeps swimming a few meters, and turning around to glance at them. A second passes, and then Bart starts following it. With little other choice, Ryley trails alongside Jochi and Avery.

It leads them to a hole in the ground, several falls of lava leading into it. They follow the lava rivers further into an even deeper cave, the lizard leading them further and further into the depths.

Ryley thinks the temperature is rising, which at this point, is just grossly unfair. As the cave opens up though, he realizes why.

Most of the floor of the cave was covered in lava, several streams pooling more onto the rock. A few islands were left above the lava, the rest nothing but boiling magma.

And at the very back of the cave, a structure sat.

Ryley's heart skips a beat.

The Prawn suit jumps down onto one of the pieces of visible land - all conveniently within jumping distance - and they swim towards it.

The lizard seems to hesitate for a moment, before snarling and quickly swimming back the way they came. Ryley pauses to watch it for a moment. He hears another snarl, much louder, and turns his head.

Another leviathan. Another dragon. Ryley knew it was down here, and yet he stares at it now, confused. Like it doesn't make sense. Like he didn't know.

"Ryley?" Someone calls to him. He snaps his gaze to Avery. He shakes his head, and follows the Prawn suit. The leviathan doesn't attack them.

It's still close enough that one of its tentacles nearly hits Ryley. Still close enough that he can clearly tell just how large the creature is. Close enough to terrify Ryley.

He hears a warper, as they're halfway through the lava lake.

Then he sees it get flung past them, warping away again right before hitting a wall. Ryley could almost laugh from how unexpected it seemed.

He glances back, and the dragon is swimming towards them now. It opens its mouth, and Ryley expects a roar -

And instead, it _spits fire_ towards them.

Ryley could almost _scream_ from how unexpected _that_ was. He chokes out a warning, and yanks his seaglide up in an attempt to avoid the attack.

He frantically looks around, hearing more warpers, and desperate to know if the others were okay.

The dragon roars again, and Ryley's ears ring.

He spots Jochi, just outside the structure's forcefield, staring back. He tries to find Bart, and realizes just how close the dragon is to him too late. It swats an arm at him, and throws him towards the ground. Heart beating, he barely realizes just how close to the lava he is, and his head fixated on finding Avery and Bart.

Something touches his arm, and he flinches, before looking and realizing it was Bart.

"We need to go," he whispers, but it sounds like he might as well be yelling to Ryley.

"Where's Avery?" He asks in response, and Bart drags him through the water. They're still close enough to the ground that a simple mistake might have thrown them into the lava.

"He's fine, just go!" Bart snaps with more panic than before. Ryley relents, but still glances around, trying to find the Prawn suit.

He spots the suit a moment later. Or at least some of it. Slowly sinking into the lava.

Despite the want to rush over, he decides to believe Bart, and hopes Avery was already inside the structure.

Behind him, the dragon screeches again, and Ryley doesn't bother looking back.

They crash into the forcefield, and fall to the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i only know how to end chapters on cliffhangers anymore akfbakrbakfb
> 
> anyway so i tested it since i have a save w all of the survivors bases built and like. its actually possible to reach the thermal plant from the ghost tree w just a seaglide rebreather and ultra high capacity tank! its REALLY CLOSE, like a lot closer than i wrote (i drowned the first 2 attempts getting lost and then not being able to find the entrance lmao) but its actually possible to do it omg. i completely thought it would have just been fanfic gibberish but like...lowkey canon actually akfbaifbakbris


	28. Day 48 (LAST ONE I SWEAR)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WROTE ALL OF THIS EXCEPT FOR LIKE THE FIRST 500 WORDS TODAY MY HANDS HURT AND I SHOULD HAVE WROTE MORE IN ADVANCE CONSIDERING I KNEW I WANTED A CHAPTER OUT TODAY FOR LIKE 2 WEEKS WHY AM I LIKE THIS

"Are you two okay?"

Jochi crouches beside Bart, his gaze flicking between him and Ryley.

Bart groans. "Yeah, sure. I nearly die every week anymore."

"Ha. Funny." Jochi replies, as he helps him up.

Ryley blinks and stays still for a moment, feeling dizzy. His head aches. Well, actually, everything kinda does. Has been.

Avery peers down at him. "Do you plan on.. just laying there for a while?"

Ryley considers it. "Maybe I'm just resting." He starts to get up off the floor, taking Avery's hand when he offers it.

"On the cold dirty floor? By yourself?"

Ryley coughs. "What, you wanna cuddle again?"

Avery shoves him. Ryley chuckles, and chooses to believe his face was red prior to the comment.

"You two done?" Ryley jumps at Jochi's voice, and turns his head to see him staring amusedly at them. Ryley coughs again, and look around the small area.

A forcefield concealed the rest of the facility. Ryley glances at the blue tablet Bart was holding.

A moment later, and the forcefield fades.

They stare down the dark hallway. Jochi picks up a seaglide, and turns the flashlight on. The corridor lights up, and then the light flickers and goes out.

"You wouldn't have happened to bring any spare batteries, would you?" Jochi asks.

"Of course I did," Bart answers. "They're in the Cyclops."

"Oh, fantastic," Jochi mumbles sarcastly, then sets the seaglide back down. "No going back now, then."

Bart continues through the corridor without another reply, and they hastily follow. After a few steps, lights flicker on and light up the path.

"Holy shit," Bart breathes. Ryley could agree with the sentiment.

"Language," Jochi replies. Bart glares back at him, and Jochi blinks before looking a bit sheepish. "It's a force of habit, don't look at me like that."

"Force of habit," Bart repeats, under his breath. There's a thinly disguised fondness there, too. Ryley just finds the exchange endearing.

They continue up the ramp, and more lights flicker on as they go, until it finally opens up into a large circular room.

Several artifacts lay in cases, and a giant machine-like thing sat in the middle. Doorways were on every wall, and Ryley hadn't thought the structure looked this large on the outside.

Another ramp lead to a room above them. Ryley hadn't paid much attention when he was in the giant laser-gun, but now - looking much closer - he finds an odd beauty in these buildings. The etchings on the walls, the tablets and cubes - it all meant something to whoever built it. He wonders if he'll ever know what. Wonders if he'll ever even know  _ why _ they built all this.

Once again, he finds himself compelled to learn more about this planet. He hadn't felt like this when he first woke up from his lifepod. Hadn't felt like this during those weeks he spent alone. Hadn't felt like this after turning to the islands and finding other survivors.

He had thought, all those weeks ago, that the instant he had the chance, he'd leave this planet without looking back. He'd leave and never think about it again, because how the hell would he be able to think about a place that took so much away from him in a matter of hours?

Now, he looks around this room, and wonders if maybe he can convince everyone else to stay just a little longer. So he can see just what else it has to offer. So he can have the chance of answering his own questions by finding more remnants of the past.

He glances over at Bart, and thinks he sees the same longing look in his gaze; and maybe even in the worst case scenario, he'd be able to convince him.

Another forcefield lays in front of them, taking up an entire wall. Those aliens sure did love their high-tech locks. Bart had brought extra tablets - only one purple and orange one - but this has to be the last wall. Ryley's suddenly grateful that Bart decided to possibly overprepare.

And also, luckily for them, Bart and Avery managed to recover them from the Prawn suit before it melted.

It seems almost too convenient, but why should Ryley complain about something good in the middle of a thousand disasters?

Jochi observes the alien artifacts, Avery watches a stray crab-like robot as it seemingly stares back. Bart approaches what Ryley can only hope is their last obstacle. Ryley follows.

Bart doesn't try to open it right away, instead trying to look through the flickering green haze. Ryley thinks he's just trying to savor the moment.

"What do you think is back there?" Ryley asks him, walking up to the tablet terminal.

"I'm not certain - but do you really want me to spoil the surprise if I'm right?"

Ryley huffs out a laugh. "It can't be anything  _ that _ great, other than a cure to an incredibly deadly disease we all have, right?"

Bart hums. "Depends on what you would consider great,"

Ryley feels another surge of affection, and briefly considers why such a sort dumb conversation would make his heart burst, then as soon as his brain skims over a possible answer decides to ignore it.

The terminal opens, and Ryley glances down at it. He blinks.

"Hey," He nervously starts, "Do we have another one of those blue tablets?"

Bart pauses for a moment, then glances back at him. "I didn't even know they  _ had _ blue ones until we found one at the thermal plant. So… no."

Ryley's heart sinks. "Then we might need to tell Roman to build a fabricator on that Cyclops,"

There's silence for a moment, and then he hears tapping on a PDA screen. Avery walks over to stand beside him.

"I'm starting to think Roman had a point," Avery mutters. "This isn't going very well."

"I'm sure they won't be long, everything will be fine," Ryley tries, "We- we can look around the rest of this place while we wait."

Bart sighs, and when Ryley glances over he expects another carefully hidden nothingness. But Bart looks almost  _ scared _ \- definitely desperate.

"Maybe we can get the one out from the other door?" Bart suggests, turning around.

"The forcefield will be up again the instant we take it out, I bet," Jochi walks over to join the three of them. "We shouldn't risk breaking it either."

"Then we should swim back to my base at the tree cove."

Jochi looks upset with just the idea. "Over seaglides are dead, the Prawn suit and Cyclops are destroyed, and there's still an awful lot of angry sea creatures out there. We barely made it before, we have no chance now."

"Who knows how long it'll take them? We can't just sit around," Bart's voice raises a bit, but he sounds almost panicked now, and Ryley just feels bad.

"They found a seabase in one of the kelp forests and it had a mobile vehicle bay near it - they're going as fast as they can. It's not like we're going to die down here."

There's a flash of something in Bart's eyes, but then he takes a shaky breath and nods. "Alright, fine. You're probably right."

Jochi eyes him as he walks off. Ryley feels that Bart didn't really feel as okay with the decision as he claimed. But what could any of them do? Jochi  _ was _ right; they couldn't make the swim back, and help was already on the way. They had no other choice but to wait.

Ryley glances at the many doorframes, and decides to quench some of his curiosity.

 

* * *

 

Four of the paths led to more teleporters. Ryley had hoped for a way out, but they didn't have any more cubes.

The generator sat in the middle of the room, creating piles of them that they can't use, feels like its mocking them now.

The other rooms seem to be for… some kind of research. Eggs, aquariums full of plants, tubes that have peepers swimming through them. None of them know what that last one means, really - well, Ryley thinks Bart might, but he didn't say anything about it.

The ramp led to a strangely empty room, at least when compared to the others. Most of the cases were empty, and only a table or two sat in the middle.

A creature he's never seen before lay on one of the tables. It must have been preserved, because Ryley can't imagine anyone's been here in, what, hundreds of years?

There's a cracked eggshell nearby. Ryley doesn't think it hatched on its own.

It's still scarily giant, despite probably not even being fully developed yet. Ryley feels a bit a fear. He mostly feels bad.

He's sure the aliens had a plan, were trying to do something right - but the creatures on this planet couldn't possibly understand that, could they?

He stares for a few moments longer, and then turns around. He couldn't do anything about what happened to it, or any of the others. He's not sure if that species was still alive. He's certainly not seen it yet, or heard Bart bring anything like it up.

He pauses on the way out, and glances back for a second, certain he hears something. He sees nothing. He stares harder, and - wait, maybe he has seen it before. Has he? Shouldn't he remember? It feels familiar. Why was it so familiar?

He can't put a name on what he thinks he sees, or why he remembered. Head aching and frustrated with himself, Ryley leaves the room.

 

* * *

 

A few hours pass, and they're sitting on the floor. Well, Jochi wasn't. He was pacing the room. He kept checking his PDA every few minutes.

Avery seemed on the verge of falling asleep, and Bart just seemed… miserable. Ryley could hear him wheezing.

Ryley contemplates. "Why didn't you come back?"

Bart furrows his eyebrows and glances up at him. "What?"

"When you were attacked by the Aurora," he clarifies. "You said you didn't know we thought you were dead, but either way, why didn't you come back to the island? Why'd you go down into the river?"

Bart doesn't answer for a few moments. When he does, despite his hearing, Ryley's certain he misheard. He asks for Bart to repeat himself, and he does.

"I didn't think there was a point. I think I'm going to die anyway."

"Why?" Ryley asks, confused and more than a little worried.

Bart shakes his head. "The visions I get have never been wrong. In one, I… I saw myself die. Even though we were close to getting a cure. I thought I'd drive the seamoth down, see how far I could get before it was destroyed. Maybe I could figure something out. I don't expect to ever leave this planet."

Ryley isn't sure how to respond.

"Maybe the visions can be wrong. I-I had one, and - it seemed to be telling me everyone but Avery and myself would die. Obviously that can't be true, right? Maybe they can be wrong."

Bart looks at him like he doesn't believe him, and Ryley feels nothing but a deep unsettling worry.

"I'm not sure if I really want them to be wrong or not," Bart confesses. "There's… a lot I saw that ended up happening. I don't really want the idea I could have stopped most of it on my conscious."

"It wouldn't have been your fault," Ryley says. "You wouldn't have known before. Maybe you just have to do something to stop them."

There's a grief-filled look on his face, and then he turns his head away. "I saw the Aurora and Sunbeam crash. I saw Beatrix and Micah die. I saw my father die. And then I saw myself die." He breathes. "If I can stop myself from dying, then I… I could have stopped those things from happening too, couldn't I?"

"How could you have possibly stopped any of that? It was out of your control. We're  _ able _ to save you - we're hours away from getting a cure to the Kharra." Ryley pauses for a moment, a lump forming in his throat - why was the thought of losing Bart so terrible to him? - "You won't die."

Bart looks back up at him, and Ryley  _ really _ doesn't want to leave Bart behind. He  _ really _ wants him to live.

He really wants to be  _ right. _

 

* * *

 

Another hour passes, and Jochi says Roman isn't responding to any messages anymore. None of the others had a PDA with them. They had no way to contact any of them.

Ryley tries to think of any reason that Roman wouldn't be responding, despite being the most concerned about splitting up.

"Maybe he dropped it, or broke it, or something,"

"He could have misplaced it in their rushing," Avery agrees.

Although he only looks a little comforted by the ideas, Jochi nods. "Yes, that's - they're busy and worried, maybe he's just doing something right now."

Bart coughs. "He still would be responding though, right? Or tell someone else to write for him?"

"Maybe it's more complicated than that," Ryley offers. Jochi looks almost more worried than before they said anything, and Ryley tries really hard to hear the group.

But he doesn't know. He can't tell. He can't hear that far away.

The group falls quiet. Ryley grows impatient and anxious.

 

* * *

 

Ryley loses track of how much time has passed. It can't have been too long, he's sure - but he paces the room now, and tries to come up with a solution when he knows there is none.

His stomach twists, and his mouth is dry. He hadn't eaten or drunk anything since before they left. They've been down here… probably a day all together. He doesn't even remember the last time he slept properly. He's certain all this is bad for him, but he really isn't sure he'd have been able to eat even if he tried. He doesn't remember the last time he managed to stomach anything.

Still, he regrets the decision now. Wishes he packed a snack or a bottle. Wishes he didn't leave everything in the Cyclops. If he never made them stop to check out the base - maybe they wouldn't have been attacked by the leviathan. Maybe they could already be in that room. Maybe they could already be working on their way off the planet.

Instead, they were effectively trapped down here, and the only ones who had a chance of helping them haven't responded to their PDA in hours.

Avery had fallen asleep against Bart. Jochi was staring at his PDA screen from beside them. Feeling bored, Ryley walked back down the ramp that led them to this room, and looks out the forcefield. He can't see the dragon, which was strange. How could someone lose something as big as that?

He glances at the tablet terminal, and considers Bart's earlier suggestion of trying to pry it away. Approaching it, Ryley tries to tear it away from the field, but his fingers can't quite find any purchase, and he ends up nowhere. He tries again a few times. He can't rip it away, regardless of effort.

Giving up, he glances back outside again. He thinks he sees a shadow, and tries to get a better view. He rediscovers the dragon, and watches it for a few moments. It starts spitting out fire at something again, near the forcefield itself, and Ryley momentarily wonders if maybe it saw him.

Then something crashes through the forcefield, nearly knocking it Ryley. With a panicked choking sound, Ryley takes a few steps back, staring at the figure, before blinking in recognition.

"Emily?"

She turns on her back, and coughs, before grinning weakly up at him. "Nobody else was brave enough to get into the water, so I kinda… forced them to follow me by running away."

"Sounds like a terrible plan."

"It  _ was.  _ Those dragon things are  _ assholes." _

Ryley laughs. They were assholes, weren't they?

Clearly hearing the commotion, Ryley glances over to see Jochi, Bart, and Avery had joined the area before the ramp.

"You're gonna get yelled at by all of them," Jochi comments, relieved humor in his voice.

Emily smiles, and Ryley offers her help off the ground. "Yeah, well, what else is new?"

Ryley glances outside again, and this time spots a slow moving Cyclops. He briefly wonders if that was how they were moving the entire time. If it was, he gets why it took them so long.

"Took you long enough," Bart scoffs. There's a more content look on his face now, though, so Ryley assumes he meant it in good nature.

Finally, Ryley thinks. Finally, there's nothing else in their way.

There's a tiny voice in the back of his head, excitedly whispering, and pulling on the ache in his chest demanding answers.

Finally, there was nothing in  _ his _ way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda wanted to end this w them meeting sea mama......but in the end decided to push that to the next chapter ;)


	29. Day 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELL YEAH MIDDLE OF NIGHT UPDATES MY SPECIALITY

They made short work of constructing another tablet.

Ryley and Bart swam out to collect the resources, watching the dragon leviathans with a newfound anxiety.

They needed to swim back towards the thermal plant, but with the Cyclops and new seaglides, it wasn't a huge problem. Definitely an annoyance. But Ryley can live with it.

Ryley listens half-heartedly to other conversations as they look for the blue crystals. Roman tells Jochi a stalker stole his PDA out of his hand - and Emily laughs as she recalls. Danby was complaining about the lack of their ability to change any of the bandage dressings on Avery, while the latter insisted he was fine. Ozzy and Milo were theorizing about a seemingly empty case amongst the alien artifacts.

Ryley listens to it all, even though it interrupts his focus, even though it makes his head ache - and his chest feels warm. Not because of the lava only meters away from him, though, obviously.

As they're swimming back, Ryley spots another lava lizard, far away from the others. It eyes him for a second, and Ryley recognizes it as the one that led them to the lake of lava. Noting the familiar green blisters growing on it, Ryley has to wonder if it knows what they're trying to do.

He almost wants to bring it back with them, but he's not sure if he should take a wild animal away from its lifelong home. Especially if they're probably not going to stick around much longer.

The warpers seem to be distracting the dragon again, which Ryley is eternally grateful for. They make it back to the Cyclops easily enough.

The Cyclops feels empty, compared to Bart's.

There's a fabricator, yes - but there was no bed, no lockers, no desk or aquarium - no waterlogged materials strung along the floor, forgotten about in some way or another. No nearly destroyed photos or handwritten notes from before the Degasi crashed hung up or laid on a counter.

Small things Ryley had only absentmindedly noted, small things he hadn't put thought into. He thinks Bart put a lot of thought into it. He thinks he preferred that carefully customized Cyclops to this neat, rushed and empty one.

The fabricator buzzes to life, and Ryley decides to ignore the strange sadness he feels over a _submarine,_ because he's once again reminded that none of that matters now.

They have the tablet. And unless there's another stupid door behind it, they're finally about to find thr final clue in whatever the hell's going on in this planet. There's another pulling in his bones, that whisper he's heard before just a bit louder with every step towards the terminal.

And when that forcefield is finally down, Ryley can barely stop himself from sprinting forward.

They continue into the facility, and Ryley's heart is pounding. He's almost unsure _why_ exactly. He's excited, yes, and this entire venture was annoyingly difficult, yes, but he still feels like maybe he was overreacting.

But, then again, Bart was just slightly shaking, and there was a grin on his face - and Ryley wouldn't say _he_ was overreacting.

He forgets his worries when they enter a room with a giant pool of water in the middle.

He instantly feels a wave of recognition. This was the place he saw in that dream - he's seen this before!

He remembers the giant creature inside, and briefly wonders if it's also real. If it's waiting down there just like in the vision.

Ryley looks down into the water. He can't see below the surface. He glances up when he realizes someone is standing beside him.

He watches Bart for a moment, before the feeling of déjà vu causes him to turn his head in the other direction, where Avery was standing. An unsettling feeling crawls its way up his throat, and he looks behind him.

And just like the vision, everyone is standing in the same places he saw. The only difference being Ryley could see their faces now - and some people weren't there.

Beatrix and Micah weren't there anymore. Empty space took up where they had been standing. Ryley's heart aches a bit as he finds himself wishing they had made it this far.

That woman he'd seen - the one he could see clearly - wasn't there, either. Ryley still hadn't gotten around to asking Bart if he knew her. Another figure wasn't there, but Ryley hadn't recognized them at all, and couldn't see them either. He didn't have a chance of attempting a description.

He stares for a second later, sadness welling up in his chest, before turning his head away when it becomes unbearable to think about anymore. He stares back down into the water.

"I've been waiting years for this," Bart murmurs, and Ryley turns to look at him. "I almost feel like this is just another dream."

"It's not a dream," Ryley replies, unsure of what else to say.

Bart sighs. "I wish there were more of us here,"

"Weird to think about being the last ones left, isn't it?" Avery adds in, his voice quiet. Bart just nods.

Ryley shakes his head in an attempt to get the anxiety filled thoughts away. He stares down at the pool, and hopes nothing dangerous is down there. There's not exactly an easy way out of the aquarium.

"Well, here goes nothing," Bart says, and jumps down into the water. Ryley watches the splash, and follows a second later.

The fall into the water is a little more painful than it looked like it would be. Ryley shakes off the ache, and swims a bit deeper into as everyone follows to avoid being jumped on.

A platform was hooked up, dangling down and covering what the ground looked like. The place seemed barely lit up though, so he doesn't think he'd be able to see the bottom from here anyways.

The platform was also familiar to him, and his heart started beating louder in his ears again. Excitement and anxiety rushed through his body.

Bart had already swam down to the platform, and Ryley goes over to him. Ryley begins to wonder why Bart hadn't gone past it, but his thought process halts when an annoyingly loud noise fills his head.

He turns his head towards the sound and sees a giant fin laying on the gray floor, tilting it down on one direction. _Yes_ \- he remembers that, too.

Forgetting about anything else, he watches, stunned, as the head of the creature rises alongside its fin.

He hadn't seen its whole face in the vision.

Large antenna sprout from the top of its head - he knew that part - but it also had four eyes, glowing icy blue, and mandibles beside its mouth. Its head slowly turned, as if taking in all that was in front of it.

Ryley's ears ring and buzz, and a loud static drowns out everything else. He winces.

_"You're here."_ A voice says, echoing lightly in the back of his head.

_Yes,_ he thinks. _We're here. We're finally here._

_"Others were here once. They built these walls."_ The creature whispers on. _"But now they're gone. And instead… there's you."_

The creature lifts its fin away, and the hanging rights itself. It turns its head, and starts to swim away. Ryley watches as its body, and then tentacles, slowly float away. He marvels at the realization of just how _giant_ it was. He wonders if it could even qualify as leviathan - the past leviathans seem _small_ compared to this. Is there a word for something larger than leviathan?

_"We are curious whether you swim with the current, or against it as they did."_

The leviathan swims further down into the water, and Ryley wants to follow. He looks down below the platform.

There were… a lot of fish. Mostly ones he'd seen before, he thinks. He thought they only lived in specific areas - but this was definitely not any of those biomes. Not even a mixture of them. Why were they living in here? _How_ were they?

"So we're just gonna… ignore the fact that thing can talk? Or read minds? Or something?" Ozzy asks.

"It's fascinating, isn't it?" Bart responds, almost ignoring the question, and a second later starts heading down after it. Ryley follows without hesitation.

As they reach the bottom of the aquarium, Ryley eyes the fauna a bit closer. He recognizes the stalkers, and bonesharks - and stares at a few of them as they swim around. Usually, they'd already be chasing him, as if they had a personal goal of biting his arm off. Now they ignore him, or simply stare back.

Weird is the only way he can think to describe it as. It was without a doubt _weird._

His eyes scan area, and he catches sight of the leviathan - of course he does, though, - and after a moment can't help but think of the aquarium as anything but small. It's larger than any he's ever seen - but so was the leviathan. It could barely do anything more than swim in circles.

How long has it been stuck in here? More than a decade, at least. Undoubtedly longer still.

His gaze follows it until his eyes catch something green. He glances down, to where Bart had already started investigating, to spot something connected to the rest of the building. Five eggs sat on the area.

_"My young need to hatch, to play outside this place,"_

Ryley looks up from the eggs to see it sitting down, at the back of the building.

_"We have been here so long."_

_What do we do?_ Ryley thinks, as he swims closer to the eggs. If they hadn't hatched it hundreds of years, maybe more, what could they possibly hope to achieve?

The leviathan leans down, and blows a hill of sand away, to reveal another inactive alien teleporter. They have a way to get the hatchlings out of the aquarium - they just need to activate it.

Thankfully, Roman had stopped to salvage more from the old Cyclops; and _also_ thankfully Bart had thought to bring a few ion cubes. Ryley tries not to think about how close they've continuously came to almost actually getting stuck down here.

Granted, they were still on the _new_ Cyclops, and they still need to go get them, but that's _significantly_ less of a problem than going all the way to the river and back.

_"The others built a passage to the outside world. I asked to be granted the same freedom, but they could not hear me,"_

Seeing everything else the aliens seemed to have done, Ryley wonders if they really couldn't, or if they had simply ignored the voice.

_"If you help, I shall give you freely what the others tried in vain to take."_

_A cure?_ Ryley asks, more asking himself than them.

_"My young can help you."_ They answer. Ryley can't help but wonder how. How could newborn leviathans cure them?

Well, what other choice do they have? The leviathan's been here so _long_ \- and they seem aware enough of what's happening. Even if they can't help, even if the hatchlings can't help, Ryley would be content with just helping for no reward.

He's certain Bart and Avery would be, too.

He's certain _all_ of them would be.

They swim back to the surface of the moonpool, half because they needed to replenish their air tanks, and half because someone needs to run out to the Cyclops yet again.

Ryley stares at Bart for a moment. "How long have you known she was down here?"

Bart sighs. "I don't know, really. A long time. I had visions from her a couple weeks after we crashed. I only saw them in one by the time I was alone."

Ryley's content with the answer for a small while. Then he finds himself thinking of the eggs again, and the three others he's seen elsewhere in the facility - and curiosity builds once again.

"How long do you think they've been here?"

Bart is silent for a moment, then hums. "Everything I've found about the precursors say they abandoned the planet at least a thousand years ago. So… somewhere around that long."

"Poor things," Ryley murmurs.

Bart hums again.

 

* * *

 

They open the portal, and they open a terminal in the incubator. They open a way to do _something_ ; a way to help.

_"First they must feel the time is right and break free of their shells,"_ They speak, the words echoing in Ryley's ears, _"This is what the others could not force from me."_

Ryley stares at the eggs in front of him.

_"To you, I give the secret willingly,"_

Something worms itself to the front of his brain, names and descriptions and instructions. Where to go. What to do. How to help.

Ryley looks up to the leviathan, but their gaze is on Bart. They had been communicating with him for years. Ryley wondered if Bart would stick around for a while. He already made habitats scattered practically everywhere - it wouldn't be a problem to him to make another one in here.

Ryley finds himself increasingly anxious as they swim back to the surface again. The leviathan told them the teleported led them where they need to go - the last plant was in the aquarium itself.

Ryley, for as long as he's waited for this, for how important it is - can't quite focus on anything being said.

Most of them seemed to be in a rush. As much as all of them had grown to dislike Alterra - they've all received nothing as much as vague worry, a rocket they have to find fuel themselves for, and a debt their PDAs keep mentioning - most of them seemed almost hurried to get back. Ryley couldn't understand why.

Why go back when they've never experienced anything like this before? Why go back just to spend the rest of their lives working off debt they had no choice but to receive if they wanted to live? Why go back to their mundane lives as chefs, janitors, and engineers that tamper with robots to keep themselves busy? Go back to lying and struggling?

Roman says something - maybe asks him something? - and Ryley just nods dumbly, pretending he heard. Roman stares for a moment, as if perfectly aware Ryley was spacing out, but doesn't repeat himself.

Avery wasn't Alterran. Had no reason to stick around with them. Barely built anything himself. Alterra would barely bother with him, probably. Would he stay? Or would he just go on to work with another trading vessel? Would Ryley ever see him again?

He watches the group split up and head towards different doors. Ryley trails after Bart and Avery, his anxiety starting to make him antsy.

Would he see any of them again? Ozzy and Danby, maybe? Who knows what Roman would do? Or Emily or Milo? What if they never found a chance to talk to him? What if none of them ever spoke ever again? Ryley hates the idea.

He follows them into the teleporters, not even noticing Bart reactivating it. His brain was walking on near autopilot.

Jochi wasn't Alterran, either. He especially didn't like Alterra. He wouldn't have any reason to stay. Roman would leave with him, wouldn't he? They'd return to Mongolian space, wouldn't they? Ryley would never hear from them again. They'd forget about Ryley, about all of this, eventually.

Bart swims out to get the sample of the plant they need. Ryley is aware of Avery watching him, but can't bring himself to do anything about it, or even look up from where his eyes study the cave floor.

Worse of all that, Ryley knows what Bart is going to do. He can tell just by the way he talks about this planet, can tell from the adoration he looks at the leviathans and their eggs, can tell from how the slightest set-back spirals him.

Bart… doesn't plan on leaving. At least not anytime soon.

Ryley doesn't want to leave him here - doesn't want to be forgotten by Bart. Doesn't want to never see him again. He'd definitely never see him again the moment he'd decide to leave without him.

Ryley's conflicted on his own wants, and on who he's prepared to give up if they really do end up seperated. Can he really just… never see Ozzy again? Can he let Avery just _leave_ , after everything Ryley feels so horribly responsible for?

His gut churns, and he's not sure he can make a decision, now that he's worked himself up.

With a great deal of effort, he manages to get himself back in reality once Bart returns with some purplish round thing Ryley can't recall ever seeing before.

Before Ryley can go back through the portal, Avery stops him. Ryley looks at him, and all his anxieties bubble to the surface, and he has to fight to keep himself stable.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, of course," Ryley replies, without really thinking about the words.

"Are you sure? You seem distracted."

Ryley nods his head. "Just thinking,"

Avery clearly sees right through him, but he's been doing that a lot lately, so Ryley isn't really surprised when he doesn't believe him at all.

So Ryley mutters something about keeping the others waiting, and hurries away, desperate not to think about the impending ending of everything that's happened. Hurrying just makes it end faster, he knows - but he doesn't want to think about it.

He'd rather pretend he's just thinking too much. That it means nothing, and he's just worrying about nothing.

He hears Avery follow after him, and Ryley leaves to the main room. Everyone else were already gathered at the ramps.

Roman leaves back out to the Cyclops with what they've gathered. Ryley only watches him for a moment, before noticing Bart approaching him.

"Still feel like I'm dreaming, really," Bart starts, with a quiet laugh that sounds almost hysterical. "But maybe you were right,"

Ryley blinks. "About what?"

"About it ending up okay," Bart answers, looking at him with an expression Ryley's never seen on him before. His face heats up, and Ryley quickly looks away.

"Of course I was," Ryley replies, a bit more monotone than he was trying for. "I mean, just- we've gone through enough as it is, right? A happy ending sounds good."

"Happy endings don't typically include most of the people you know dying."

"Happyish ending," Ryley corrects. Bart smiles.

"Hey, quick question," Bart starts again after a brief silence. Ryley looks at him again. "What do you plan on doing after this?"

Ryley supposes it isn't a strange question, not at all - but with all he's just been anxiously debating over, the question makes him wince. Bart notices, and frowns.

Desperate to move on once again, Ryley shrugs. "I'm not sure. Return to Alterra, I guess,"

Is that what he'll do? Return to Alterra? Return to work he hates with workers who treat him like garbage? Return to more disasters just waiting to happen?

"You don't sound very confident," Bart observes. Ryley shrugs again.

"I can think about it more as we're building the rocket out of here," He replies. At least that's honest. Or mostly honest. He hasn't decided when he'll think about it more, but that sounds like a good time.

Bart eyes him long enough that Ryley's certain he's aware of what's worrying him, and he can still feel Avery's gaze on his back, and Ryley has no idea why he's suddenly nervous over this or why everything suddenly feels deafening and eerily silent all at once, but he really _really_ wants Roman to _hurry up_ so he can have something to do and distract himself.

When Roman finally does return, Ryley feels like he can hardly breath, even though he's certain he must be breathing fine because he's with a group of people and none of them are saying anything to him. There's eyes on him, someone would notice if he's truly struggling to breathe. So why does it feel like he's still underwater?

They start to return to the aquarium. It had all been so easy, so quick, Ryley felt like everything was happening too fast. It was probably a good thing.

He jumps back into the water, despite his lungs already feeling empty, and starts seeking out the leviathan.

He spots her easily, quickly. She looks at him with an expression Ryley could only describe as warm. Ryley wants to hug them. Would they understand what hugs were? They can read thoughts; she'd probably be able to guess.

_"You are worried about your friends,"_ The leviathan murmurs. Ryley watches the others swim past him; they don't hear the message, clearly.

_They don't want to stay._ Ryley answers. It's truthful. He knows most of them don't. They've been talking about returning to Alterra for days. They hate these oceans and their creatures.

Or maybe they don't hate it, but fear it.

Ryley can't tell the difference. He knows they don't plan on staying any longer than they have to. All of them but Bart, at least.

_"What do you want?"_

What does he want?

He watches as they approach the eggs, the incubator. Ryley finally starts to swim closer himself. He wants to watch them hatch.

He isn't sure what he wants.

Ryley pauses next to Ozzy, who lightly shoulders his arm in greeting.

No. Ryley knows what he wants. He just doesn't think he'll get what he wants.

Bart puts the mixture they created into the incubator, and a few moments later the eggs start moving.

_I like it here._

He watches as they crack and splinter open, and tiny, _tiny_ versions of the leviathan pop out. Their entire body moves in jerky motions, unsure of how to go about swimming yet.

One approaches him, and Ryley tentatively reaches out an arm. It grazes its head on it in a similar way that cats tend to, and makes a happy-sounding noise.

Ryley hears a laugh, and turns his head to spot one curled around Danby's arm, cuddling up against his hand. Danby was looking at with a wonder filled gaze, while Ozzy happily scratches the head of the hatchling.

It feels strange, to be petting a fish. Then again, fish aren't typically telepathic. So petting one definitely wasn't the strangest thing to happen to him recently.

The hatchling starts to move away from him, and the one next to Danby swims away, too. All five leave the group, and approach the leviathan.

The baby leviathans make chirping noises, and the leviathan replies with similar noises. She tilts her head and nuzzles one.

Ryley watches as the family plays, and feels his anxiety give away. He breathes easier.

Yes, he _definitely_ knows what he wants.

Such a short time passes before the young ones start to swim away again that Ryley almost wants to tell them to stay longer. But he doubts they'd understand him.

The young don't stop by them though, and keep swimming towards the teleporter. Ryley watches them leave, and wonders where the teleporter might lead to.

_"My young are swimming for the shallows. I thank you."_

He turns his gaze back to the leviathan. They looked tired.

_"Their freedom is my end. What will it be like, I wonder, to go to sleep and never wake up?"_

They start to slump, to where simply keeping their head up looks difficult. Despite how little time he's spent with the leviathan, the sight makes him feel terrible.

_Maybe we could help you out of here._ He tries, despite how clearly there was nothing they could do. The leviathan seems to appreciate the gesture, and raises its head just enough to look at Ryley.

_"I have lived long enough. Do not feel bad."_

Ryley recalls Bart's words about the leviathan having to be at least a thousand years old. He wondered if that's usually how long the species lives. Probably not.

He's only slightly comforted by the fact.

_"Perhaps next we meet I will be an ocean current, carrying seeds to a new land…"_

They slump down more, until they're laying on the sand at the bottom of the aquarium.

_"Or a creature so small it sees the gaps between the grains of sand."_

They turn their head, their gaze sweeping over the group. Ryley can almost feel the smile, despite the expression being absent from their face.

_"Farewell, friends."_

A deep sadness wells up in his chest, and Ryley watches the leviathan's chest heave as it struggles awake long enough to watch them leave through the teleporter.

When Ryley finally turns to follow the hatchlings, he notices Bart not following. Ryley calls out to him, and Bart doesn't answer. Ryley swims closer.

"We can't save her," Ryley murmurs to him. Bart sighs.

"I know. I'm… just thinking too much."

"About what?"

Bart's silent for a second. "I'll tell you back at the island."

Ryley blinks. Finally, Bart turns, and with one last glance back at the leviathan, the pair continue back to the teleporter.

On the other side, Ryley's ears start to hurt as a Reaper starts roaring as soon as he's through. Ryley mostly just feels annoyed by the noise at this point, but beside him Bart flinches.

The others were nowhere to be found, so Ryley assumed they must have gone to the surface. Upon looking around, he realizes they're at one of the islands - maybe they were there.

The hatchlings were still floating around the teleporter, hiccuping particles of something every now and again. Ryley had noticed them doing it in the aquarium as well.

He can almost hear the whispering voice telling him to approach the particules, so he does. It feels familiar in a way, but he can't quite place why.

He glances over to Bart, who eyes the orange substance for a moment before something changes in his expression, and he reaches out to touch it without any more hesitation.

Ryley copies the movement, watching the particles collect on his skin. It starts to burn after a moment, and he attempts to shake it off - then scrape it off - before a jolt of pain shoots up his arms. Then the substance disappears, alongside the pain, and his hands are significantly less green-looking than before.

Blisters still remain - it just made sense it wouldn't cure him completely at instant - but it seemed to work fairly well in a short time.

One of the baby leviathans swim up to him again, and Ryley scratches their head. It chirps happily, before swimming over to Bart.

"Maybe we should bring them into the shallows with us," Ryley comments, after hearing another roar from nearby. Bart murmurs agreement. Ryley gestures to the surface, wanting to get out of the water, sure that Bart undoubtedly wants to as well.

Climbing onto the beach, Ryley spots the rest of the group huddled around a tree. Emily was trying to fend off a group of cave crawlers, Ozzy cheering her on. Avery looked like he had passed out under the shade of the tree. The rest were simply resting.

None of them had really rested for a while, not without worrying about something else.

But they weren't dying anymore; they were working at recovery. Nobody was risking their lives for an attempt at survival. There was no struggling to outswim leviathans in an active lava field.

They could just… rest.

He could still hear the hatchlings, safely swimming around the teleported still. A few warpers were around, but they seemed to just be observing the young leviathans. They had no intention of attacking them.

He looks at Bart. The other returns his gaze, for a moment, maybe a second longer than he had any reason to, then looks away and heads towards the tree the others were gathered at. Jochi moves to allow space, and Bart collapses next to him.

A rest sounds rather nice right now, Ryley decides, and follows the footsteps in the sand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its so weird to see this fanfic drawing to a close. like. I haven't finished a multichapter fic in maybe 4 or 5 years. I started working on this in like march and now its december! its gonna be weird not having anything to write omg
> 
> still one chapter left tho! gonna be a fun one :]c


	30. Day 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i. wrote this way quicker than i thought i would.  
> MOST of this is very self-indulgent and there's probably way too much useless dialogue. but i mean this entire fic is self-indulgent and dialogue heavy so it's probably not as bad as my brain is telling me it is. akbfkabrkvakvr
> 
> ANYWAYS hope y'all enjoy this final chapter! :]

By the time they return to the floating island, the sun's already set. Ryley trips a few times trying to navigate the island in the darkness. By the time they finally reach the base set in the middle, exhaustion made itself intensely known.

He collapses in his bed, and almost subconsciously starts to listen around him.

Would his hearing return to normal? He doesn't think it's changed at all yet. He wonders if it would be weird to him, after how long he's been able to hear his own heartbeat without even trying.

He doesn't really focus on any words. He hears mumbling, and he thinks Roman is discussing something with someone Ryley can't bother to discern.

Worries start to plague his mind once again, and Ryley pushes it away.

It can wait.

 

* * *

 

When he awakes, either the sun hasn't risen, or has already set again. He's not quite sure.

He feels tired still, and his stomach churns with a familiar nauseous feeling. Ryley thinks he should eat something. The thought of actually trying to digest something makes him more nauseous, and he decides to procrastinate it for just a bit.

He thinks everyone else is still sleeping. He can hear breathing from throughout the habitat, slow enough that it could almost worry Ryley. He listens for another long moment, and drags himself out of the bed.

Something's missing.

As he's about to climb down the ladder, he glances back to the other bed in the room. Avery was still sleeping, too.

Ryley stares at him, a strange feeling washing over him. He feels… sad? Why would he be sad? Avery was fine - they all were. Why did he feel so miserable?

Maybe it was sickness. Maybe it was the Kharra messing with his head.

It occurs to him how weird it was to be staring at someone sleeping, and he shakes his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts. His chest still ached - which was just  _ unfair, _ everything was going alright for once and he can't stop feeling like trash? - and he began descending the ladder.

The leaves the habitat after briefly checking his theory about everyone sleeping - Jochi the only one awake, yet lying in bed typing away at his PDA. He murmurs a greeting to Ryley as he passes. Ryley notes Roman sleeping beside him, and the tight feeling his chest goes away for a few moments.

It's lighter outside than the windows seemed to reflect, but still dark enough that Ryley can't see where he's going very well.

He listens for a single heartbeat. He follows the thumping.

Ryley ends up near the abandoned Degasi habitat. A few cave crawlers were huddled together underneath a desk, apparently sleeping. Ryley had never seen any creatures sleeping before, that it seems weird to imagine others doing the same, despite how surely they must.

He turns his attention away, and approaches a figure.

"You're up early," Bart comments.

"So are you," Ryley replies. "Did you sleep at all?"

Bart shrugs. "A little. Couldn't stay asleep very well."

Ryley glances back at the Degasi habitat. This wasn't the first time any of them had seen Bart here. Ryley wonders how much time he spent here before the Aurora showed up.

"Roman plans to start building your rocket once everyone is feeling better." Bart says.

Of course, Ryley thinks. His heart sinks. That wouldn't be very long, would it? Not long enough.

"Isn't that a good thing?" He asks, trying to convince himself it was more than genuinely asking Bart.

Bart turns his head away to look at him. "Well, it isn't a  _ bad _ thing, I suppose."

"Then why do you sound upset?"

Bart stares at him silently for a moment, then turns his head back towards the destroyed base.

"I'm not going."

And Ryley had already assumed that, so why does it feel like such a shock to actually hear?

"I want to look after the leviathan's young; she wanted me to help them for so long, I feel like I  _ should _ take care of them," Bart continues, "Returning to Mongolian space means I'd be expected to take over Torgal Corp if it's still running. And that just sounds… exhausting. I'd rather stay here."

It's perfectly reasonable - Ryley understands. Maybe he understands too much.

"I don't think I'm leaving, either."

Bart pauses and turns to look at him again. "What? Really?"

Ryley contemplates it for a second. He still feels torn on the choice. But a tug in his chest makes him nod.

"I still want to explore this planet - and Alterra won't let us just live our lives after this. I don't want to find out what they'll do to us,"

Ryley pauses.

"Plus, I already assumed you'd stay, and I didn't want you to be alone again."

The words leave his mouth without Ryley really intending them to, and his face flushes. He's grateful that it's dark out still.

Bart seems caught off guard by the comment, and Ryley hears his heart skip a beat.

There's a brief silence, and then Bart moves on. "Everybody else is okay with that?"

"I, uh… haven't told anyone else yet." Ryley winces. "They probably won't be. I don't know. Ozzy and Danby will be upset."

He contemplates over whether anyone else would care that much. Would they? Ryley almost wants them to be upset over it, just so he knows he means something to them. On the other hand, their lives would be easier if they just left and forgot about him.

His chest aches at the mere thought.

"Have you told anyone?" Ryley asks, to try to ignore the distressing ideas forming in his skull. Bart shakes his head.

"I'm not sure any of them would care much, with everything I've put you all through," Bart sighs.

_ "I _ care," Ryley replies, seeking to comfort him. "I'm sure Jochi cares, too."

"Of course he'll care. He's also the one person I don't have any clue on  _ how _ to tell. He's spent the last decade thinking I was dead, and once he learns I'm still alive I make the decision to most likely never see him again?" Bart sighs. "I've made him deal with enough as is."

Ryley isn't quite sure how to respond, so he stays quiet for a moment.

"It'll turn out fine," He finally murmurs. Bart doesn't reply.

 

* * *

 

A few days pass and nothing much happens.

Ryley can finally eat without throwing up afterwards. Avery seems more awake than he had been. Bart was actually sticking around despite all the other certainly more important things he could be doing.

The hatchlings were also around the island most of the time. They disappeared for a while sometimes, but there's not much any of them could do to keep them nearby forever.

They weren't as good as their parent yet, but they were also learning to talk. Most of the time the telepathic messages were utterly incomprehensible. Sometimes just short one or two word comments.

Ryley wonders how they're learning at all, but he doesn't think they have the vocabulary to answer him yet.

At this rate, he's sure he'll get his answer eventually, though.

Ryley still hadn't told anyone else his plan to stay. He doesn't think Bart has, either. He knows putting it off isn't going to make it any better, or easier. But anytime he finds an opportunity, he feels  _ guilty. _

He hasn't done anything wrong. Nobody would be mad at him or Bart for staying. Yet he still feels an overwhelming sense of panic whenever he tries to get the words out. They get stuck in his throat and he ends up admitting nothing at all.

He'll have to say something eventually, he knows. They'll build the Neptune rocket and then he'll be forced to tell them, even if it's last second.

Procrastinating it feels easier than actually saying anything at all though, so he keeps hesitating. Over and over.

 

* * *

 

Another week passes, and with the frequent enzyme the young leviathans produced, they were healing quickly. The entire planet was, Ryley noticed the few times he left the island just for the fun of it.

The creatures all seemed oddly docile, similar to within the leviathan's aquarium. They weren't  _ friendly _ , exactly, stalkers would still snap at him if he got too close, but they weren't chasing after him anymore. They weren't attacking the seamoth.

This time he returns to the island, and it feels off. He isn't sure why at first, until he notes the silence. Usually someone was talking, or typing, or fabricating, or  _ something. _ Someone was always doing something. Now, at a time he knows not everyone could be sleeping, he hears nothing more than heartbeats and breathing.

Later, he discovers Bart was gone. Usually that wouldn't be so concerning; he often left the island anyways. But the disappearance tagged with the eerie silence worries him.

He goes to the observatory, only because he knew Avery was there.

Avery murmurs a greeting, only half-heartedly. Nervousness worms its way in Ryley's stomach.

"Is something going on? Everyone's acting weird," Ryley asks, his eyes flickering between Avery and the young leviathans swimming happily outside. At least they seemed normal.

"They're probably upset about Bart," Avery answers, a strange bitterness in his voice. "He told us he's staying here."

_ Uh oh. _

"Well- he's been here a long time. It makes sense he wouldn't want to give it up, right?"

Avery seems to ponder the answer, then sighs. "He told you before any of us, didn't he?"

Ryley pauses, then nods. "Yeah. Only because I asked him, though, I think."

Avery turns his head to gaze at Ryley. "You're staying with him." It ends up sounding more like a statement than a question.

It startles Ryley, how quickly he figured it out. But he's had a strange ability to do that lately, so maybe it shouldn't surprise him.

Ryley shrugs. "Well… yeah."

"You really think we're just going to leave the two of you here?"

"Why not? We  _ want  _ to stay."

"After everything that's happened here, most people won't want to send anyone else back. You might not ever get the chance to leave again."

"Alterra will send someone if they think they have a chance of making money off this planet,"

"Would you be staying if Bart wasn't?"

It doesn't  _ sound  _ like an accusation, but the words repeat in Ryley's head like it were. He likes this planet - he wants to stay for it, too.

"Yes," Ryley replies, confidence in his choice growing. His chest still aches a bit as he answers, but he knows he wants to stay.

Avery watches him for a moment, then sighs. "I'm not going to change your mind, am I?"

Ryley smiles. "Doubt it."

They're both silent for a moment, and then Avery turns his gaze back to the leviathans. "Alright. Everyone else is gonna argue with you about this, fair warning,"

"Of course they will," Ryley agrees, and yeah, he sees it now. None of them will want him or Bart to stay behind.

Ryley sees Avery's mouth open, as if he was about to say something, but then he closes it without a word. Ryley almost asks him what it was, but decides not to. Maybe he'll ask him about it later.

He decides to look for Bart.

Ryley finds him surprisingly still on the island, pacing back and forth between two trees.

"That went horribly," Bart mutters when he spots Ryley. Ryley chuckles.

"Sure does look like it,"

"I think they might just drag us with them instead of letting us stay."

"Avery told me he was fine with it,"

Bart scoffs. "He was acting like I told him I killed his dog. I've never seen someone look so betrayed, and all I said was that I  _ wanted _ to stay, not that I even  _ would!" _

Ryley blinks. "He didn't seem that upset to me. And you  _ are  _ staying, they probably knew what you meant."

Bart rolls his eyes, then eyes Ryley mischievously. "Well, he's always being nice to you. Of course he's going along with it to make you happy."

Ryley coughs. "Wh- he's not  _ always _ being nice to me. And he's nice to everyone!"

"Oh? You haven't noticed that he definitely dotes on you?"

Ryley's face flushes. "He probably was just thinking it over by the time I talked to him and calmed down. I mean- you're  _ also  _ nice all the time, so whatever you're  _ implying-" _

Bart grins. "You're reacting an awful lot to an innocent implication."

Ryley shoves him.

 

* * *

 

Another day passes, and they've constructed the launch pad for the rocket.

Even so, nobody really seems excited anymore. Ryley can only guess why.

Nobody other than Avery and Bart knew he planned on staying too yet. Ryley didn't want to hear the silence again, didn't want to hear arguing. He'd rather they assume he's leaving with them right now.

He spots Roman staring at the launch pad, soon after they built it. He looks distressed, and tired. Ryley hasn't seen or heard him sleeping lately.

Ryley decides to approach him.

"Hey," He softly calls out. Roman turns his head towards him for a moment, then looks away again.

"If it's not important, I'd rather be left alone."

Ryley takes another step forward. "Why? Are you okay?"

"I said go away." Roman snaps. Ryley stubbornly stays where he was.

"Is this about Bart staying?"

Roman sighs. "No. And it doesn't concern you either way."

"I'm just trying to be helpful," Ryley says.

Roman groans. "Bart isn't the only one staying. That's what I'm concerned about. Happy?"

Ryley blinks.  _ He  _ was staying, but he hadn't told Roman that yet. "Who?"

Roman fidgets with his hands. "Jochi said he's not leaving without Bart, and Emily just doesn't want to return to Alterra."

Ryley contemplates. "What do you think?"

Roman glares at him. "I think the safest option is to return to Alterra space and make sure nobody ever returns to this planet." Roman pauses for a moment, and his gaze softens. "I also… really don't want to leave either of them behind."

"Then don't."

Roman frowns.

"I'm staying, too," Ryley continues. "Alterra can go without us. If you don't want to leave them then… don't."

Roman stares at him for a long moment, then turns his gaze momentarily back towards the launch pad.

"I'll think about it," He murmurs.

 

* * *

 

Ryley isn't sure who wants to leave and who doesn't anymore. No one seems to talk about it, and yet their progress on the Neptune rocket has considerably slowed. Ryley hasn't seen anyone working towards the next materials they need for a while.

They built on a few more rooms for the habitat. Bart had a bed in one.

Ryley stops thinking about it over and over, because he's not about to complain about any of it.

And when the sun starts setting again, they're all outside. Danby and Ozzy were playing with the leviathans. Another group of fish crowded around them - hatched from eggs Bart had found lying around. They were almost as affectionate as the baby leviathans. Ryley taught them to give high-fives.

Ryley glances over to the launch pad again, nothing built upon it yet.

A fuzzy feeling arises in his chest, when it finally occurs to him that none of them planned to leave anymore.

They were fine here.

He looks around the patch of sand. He wonders if they had always thought about staying. He wonders if they decided to just to stay together. He wonders if maybe it was a mix of the two.

He spots Bart and Avery, sitting just out of reach of the waves. Ryley hasn't been paying attention to what they were talking about. He stands up from where he had been sitting, and approaches them.

They both greet him, and Bart continues happily talking about crabsnakes. Ryley can't remember ever seeing one before. They don't sound too dangerous - maybe he should try to investigate them further.

After voicing that idea, Avery makes it very clear how  _ bad  _ of an idea it really was, and Ryley laughs.

Maybe it was a bad idea, but they've made worse decisions.

They've also made much better ones.  _ He's _ made much better ones.

He stares at Bart, still excitedly blabbering about the snakes. When his gaze turns away for a moment, Avery shares a look with Ryley.

His stomach flutters.

If it means he spends more time with them - Ryley would gladly choose to stay over and over.

He hasn't gotten over the sound of their laughs yet.

He doesn't ever plan to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bart: im staying here actually  
> everyone: well,,,,fuck?? ok fuck. sorry ur not getting rid of us tho?? we're just gonna stay then too u bastard??
> 
> finally.....it is done. left the ending a bit. idk what the word is but like open maybe?? idk how to describe it but like. im def planning a sequel to this so i kinda wanted to set up that.
> 
> this was super fun to work on tho!! thank u to everyone who read this and thank u to everyone who left any comments!!
> 
> i dont rlly know what else to put here so just. hope y'all enjoyed the fic. ill be workin on more sometime eventually. thank u once again :3c
> 
> ok now uh,,, bye i guess!!! qwq


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